October 18, 2006

  • Perspective on World Formula One Driving Championship from Michael Lawrence

     

    Many sections of the media are taking it as read that Fernando is World Champion bar an unfortunate incident. At Suzuka, Michael seemed to have ten points in the bank, then suffered an unfortunate incident. Not many people thought that Schumacher could claw back 25 points over the second half of the season and go to Suzuka at the top of the table.

    Maybe, just for once, the fat lady could be persuaded not to sing. I've never met anyone who wanted the fat lady to sing.

    Regardless of what happens in Brazil, we have been witnessing something truly remarkable. You would not have thought, by he way has been driving recently, that Michael had announced his retirement. It is rare that a driver who has actually announced his retirement has been driving like Michael has. There have been drivers who have made the decision, Jochen Rindt and Jackie Stewart among them, who have still taken wins. Mika Hakkinen won the US GP in 2001, but he had not finally renounced F1. There was the possibility he would take a sabbatical, instead he went to DTM.

    Tazio Nuvolari once announced his retirement then went on holiday to America. While he was on the boat, an offer came from Auto Union and he caught the next boat back.

    When Mario Andretti, whom I regard as one of the greatest of all drivers, announced his retirement, he had past his best and his final season was labelled Arrivederci Mario. It was a sentimental farewell with nobody expecting him to be running near the front. It was also an opportunity for fans to pay tribute, which is a rare occasion in motor racing.

    Americans are very good at that sort of thing and I think it comes down to migration to America. People came from all over and a common language took time to sort out, so promoters put on shows that everyone could understand. When Phineas T. Barnum exhibited 'Jumbo', the largest elephant in captivity (he made London Zoo a good offer) regardless of where your parents came from, or what language you spoke, you thought, That is one big beast.

    AJ Foyt could hardly walk when he made his last appearance in the Indianapolis 500, a race he had won four times. There was no way he was race fit, but he started his last 500 from the front row. I may not be the only person to remember that CART turbo engines were regulated by a standard 'pop off' valve chosen at random. I bet that most teams chose from one set of valves and AJ chose from another set, of one.

    Indianapolis honoured one of its greatest drivers, who had to retire after a couple of laps, but nobody protested his 'pop off' valve, not even the guy who was one place outside of qualifying. The crowd did not think it had been short changed, either. There's No Business Like Show Business.

    When it came to media attention, in his final season, Mario Andretti upstaged everyone else on the grid, even though nobody thought he would win a race. I bet his sponsors reckoned they got a fair return for their investment.

    Some commentators have wondered if the promoters of F1 secretly hope that Alonso will take the title so that Michael does not take what they like to call 'the coveted No. 1' (race number) into retirement with him. This is just media froth, it's been a good ten years since numbers on most cars have been visible on television, space on a car is too valuable to waste on numbers.

    I'd like to say this just once for the benefit of media numbnuts, there never has been a 'coveted No. 1'. There was a time when Ferrari drivers wanted to have '27', which had been Gilles Villeneuve's number, hardly anyone has give much thought to numbers.

    Most commentators have missed the fact that Michael goes into retirement at the top of his game, I cannot remember him driving better, and Fernando has matched him. There is a seamless passing of the torch, and this has not always been the case.

    There have been many occasions in Grand Prix history when that has not been the case. Prewar, Rudolf Caracciola and Tazio Nuvolari rarely raced together for years. Nuvolari, with Alfa Romeo, mainly raced in Italy while Mercedes Benz entered Caracciola in the European Mountain Championship. Stirling Moss's accident in 1962 must have robbed us of epic battles with Jim Clark, and not only in F1. Clark's death robbed us four or five years of battles against Jackie Stewart.

    Ascari and Fangio did not often meet on equal terms and by the time Moss came to the fore, Fangio was getting a little long in the tooth. Fangio was anyway a single seater specialist while Moss could drive anything at a time when sports car racing held equal status to Formula One.

    What we have seen this year has been two fabulous drivers locking horns in roughly equivalent cars. They have been on different tyres, sure, and Renault faltered when its 'mass damper' system was barred. Michael can still win the title, but that will take nothing away from Fernando, the torch will be passed from one great driver to another.

    In the case of Moss and Clark, Stirling has told me he was getting anxious about Jimmy, but Clark had not established equality when Stirling had his accident. Jimmy never had the standard by which he could measure himself though, of course, he became the one who set the standard.

    Regular readers may know that I regard Moss as the greatest driver of all, so let me make an argument for Clark. Some people think that Clark had an advantage with the Lotus 25, but nobody else won with it, it was only Jimmy who won with a Lotus 25. Lotus had the same V8 Coventry Climax engines as Cooper and Brabham, but Jimmy won almost all the races for Climax V8s, including non Championship events, even when Brabham fielded better chassis. Clark had fewer breakdowns than anyone and preservation of the engine was part of the driver's craft whereas, today, engineers set the limit while drivers stretch what they are given.

    I do not look back to some imagined Golden Age, there never was one. There have been times when drivers have been able to work on a broader canvas, when the star could appear to make a big difference. Much of that is a myth and stems from the time when components such as wishbones were welded on jigs. There were limits of tolerances, but the star got the best bits, no two chassis or engines were the same. These days, components are identical which is why drivers in the same team are so much closer. One may be quicker than the other, but it is the driver who is making the difference, not a fabricator making wishbones with a welding torch.

    I doubt whether there has ever been more driver talent on a Formula One grid than there is today. There are drivers chosen for seats because they chime in with the aspirations of the team's sponsors, but they are not 'pay drivers' in the sense that once existed when some organisers would pay teams to run a third car for a local hero, who maybe did only that one F1 race in his entire career. You can no longer buy a secondhand car and hope to negotiate an entry.

    When TV directors remember that there are 22 cars in a race, one thing which has impressed me is the commitment of the entire field. We know that not all drivers are equal, even in the same car, but they are all competing. There have been times when a large chunk of an F1 field were turning up for a fun weekend.

    I do not think that the standard has ever been higher, but that drivers have to operate within a more narrow band to make a difference than when Nuvolari was able to spend a lot of his time going sideways. Nuvolari, incidentally, upset the Alfa Romeo's chief designer, the remarkable Vittorio Jano, because Jano thought Nuvolari was an utter hooligan to be doing that to his cars.

    Over the Winter we can discuss Alonso's retirement at Monza and Schumacher's blatant cheating in Monaco at the end of qualifying, we can pick over the bones of any season. The important thing for the sport is that Michael is not leaving a vacuum, regardless of the outcome in Brazil. It is not often that we have been left without a vacuum.

    We have a foundation on which to discuss next season. We have the musical chairs, with Alonso going to McLaren and Raikkonen to Ferrari. Felipe Massa has surprised me, not so much by his pace, but by his maturity. There's Red Bull with Adrian Newey, Williams with Toyota engines, and Ferrari while Ross Brawn goes fishing. There's the speed of Robert Kubica, Spyker with what appears to be sensible funding, and Jenson Button looking like a really serious prospect.

    Michael Schumacher's incredible record will always be there to aim at and the sad thing is that, not long into 2007 he will be 'yesterday's man'. That will inevitably come, but right now he is very much the man of today. He has never driven better than in his last few races.

    One thing that impressed me is that, after his retirement, which must have been a terrible disappointment, Michael made a point of thanking every single member of the team. I can think of drivers who would have disappeared into the motor home and later issued a statement.

    Denis Jenkinson once said that if a driver was a natural winner, the odd retirement did not upset him, because it was unnatural. The fact that Michael was able to go to every member of his 'family' and thank them, even though the car had let him down, shows what a great champion he is. I have not always been enthusiastic about his tactics, but I have to say that gesture impressed me.

    My dream result in Brazil would be a dead heat between Schumacher and Alonso. It would give Fernando the title, it would give Michael a last win, and it would establish a base line for the future.

    Michael made his debut in F1 in 1991. Forget motor racing, what were you doing in 1991? Everyone has a different story, but a lot has happened to us all in fifteen years, some committed fans were not even born. In real terms, you have to be in your twenties not to have known Formula One without Michael Schumacher.

    I hope that Formula One can find an appropriate way to bid farewell to Michael Schumacher in Brazil. Maybe Bernie could make a few trans Atlantic phone calls because there is no way that Americans would let such a great champion just walk away.

    'Jumbo' was just the name given to an elephant in London Zoo, it meant nothing, and that was the point, it could have been called 'Roderick', or anything. Phineas T. Barnum made 'Jumbo' mean something and we do not take trips on a Roderick jet.

    England gave the world Shakespeare, but it had to be America which gave the world a silent version of Shakespeare's The Taming Of The Shrew (1929) with the immortal credit, it was a silent movie, remember, 'additional dialogue by Sam Taylor'.

    There's No Business Like Show Business...

    Mike Lawrence
    mike@pitpass.com

  • More U.S. Deaths in Iraq


    Iraqi police officers secure the site of a car bomb attack in Baghdad.
    Iraqi police officers secure the site of a car bomb attack in Baghdad. Photograph: Samir Mizban/AP
    Sharp rise in US death rate in Iraq

    Associated Press
    Wednesday October 18, 2006

    Guardian Unlimited

    The US military confirmed today that nine troops had been killed in fighting and bombings in Iraq yesterday, raising this month's death toll for American forces to 67.

    If the rate of US fatalities continues at the same level throughout this month, it will make October the deadliest for coalition forces since January 2005, when 107 US troops died.

    In more violence today, a roadside bomb killed a provincial police intelligence chief in southern Iraq and four of his bodyguards, police said.

    Ali Qassim al-Tamimi, head of intelligence for the Maysan provincial police force, and the bodyguards were killed by a bomb planted on the main road between the cities of Amara and Basra. Two car bombs also exploded in Baghdad, injuring at least eight people, police said.

    In the city of Balad, about 50 miles north-east of the capital, local Sunni and Shia leaders were meeting in an attempt to resolve the fate of a group of people who have apparently been kidnapped.

    More than 40 people have been missing since their 13-car convoy was waylaid at a checkpoint on Sunday outside Balad, where almost 100 people have been killed in five days of sectarian fighting. Police said the hijacked cars had been diverted to the nearby Shia militant stronghold of al-Nebaiyi on Balad's outskirts.

    A brief statement from the US military today said four US troops died early yesterday, when a roadside bomb struck their vehicle west of Baghdad.

    Three US soldiers were killed and one wounded during combat in Diyala province, east of Baghdad. Another US soldier was killed when suspected insurgents attacked his patrol in northern Baghdad.

    A US marine also died from injuries sustained during fighting in al-Anbar province.

    The fighting in Balad forced US troops to return to patrolling the streets of the predominantly Shia city after Iraq's best-trained soldiers proved unable to stem a series of revenge killings sparked by the murder on Friday of 17 Shia construction workers.

    The US military had turned over control of the surrounding province north of Baghdad to Iraq's 4th Army a month ago, and American forces apparently did not redeploy there until Monday, when the worst of the violence had ended.

    Minority Sunnis, who were the focus of most of the violence in the city of around 80,000 people, have been fleeing across the Tigris river in small boats.

    On the outskirts of the city, two fuel trucks were attacked and burned and Shia militiamen clashed with residents of Duluiya, a predominantly Sunni city on the east bank of the Tigris.

    Shia militants have been blocking food and fuel trucks from entering Duluiya.

    Some commentators said the violence in the area was an omen for the level of hostilities if Iraq was divided into three federal states - controlled by Shias in the south, Sunnis in the centre and Kurds in the north.

    Guardian Unlimited © Guardian News and Media Limited 2006

  • Upgrade My Private Jet

    October 17, 2006    
    Lufthansa Technik

    The proposed master bedroom for the Dreamliner as designed by Lufthansa Technik
    Lufthansa Technik

    A movie theater is part of Lufthansa’s design for a private Boeing 787.

    October 17, 2006

    For the Super-Rich, It’s Time to Upgrade the Old Jumbo Jet

    The tremendously rich are different not only from you and me but also from the merely rich. For one thing, some of them have really nice airplanes.

    This is not about the presumed titans of the private jet universe like the mighty Gulfstream G5’s or Global Expresses, whose occupants can leap continents and oceans at high speed and in plush comfort, without all the inconveniences of commercial airports, airline schedules and, well, strangers.

    This is about big, long-haul airliners that are converted to private jets and can carry not only pampered passengers and their entourages, but also, in some cases, their Rolls Royces and racehorses. These are specially equipped, privately owned jumbo jets — the kind that normally carry as many 300 to 400 passengers — but reconfigured with interiors designed for the enjoyment of, at most, a couple of dozen.

    And in a market in which many owners progressively upgrade — starting out, for example, with a Boeing 737 and eventually moving up — the next big thing is the Boeing 787 Dreamliner, which lists for about $150 million and up.

    As a private jet, at least under a new “V.I.P.” design being introduced today by Lufthansa Technik at the National Business Aviation Association convention and trade show in Orlando, Fla., the 787 will have 35 seats — most of which can also be used as single lie-flat seats, queen-size beds or double beds, said Jennifer Urbaniak, a Lufthansa spokeswoman.

    As a commercial airliner, the 787 will seat 210 to 330 passengers, depending on the airline that flies it.

    “There are around 39 Boeing 747’s with interiors configured for V.I.P. use in the world, and many 757’s and 767’s, an MD-11, and two 777’s,” said Aaga Duenhaupt, a manager for Lufthansa Technik, based in Hamburg, a subsidiary of Deutsche Lufthansa that designs and builds the interiors for new and used (or “pre-owned,” as they like to say in both the luxury car and luxury jet markets) airliners for individual or corporate use.

    Even though the first deliveries of the 787 are not expected until 2008, industry experts say that marketing interior design plans now makes sense because there is always great interest in the next big thing at the highest end of the luxury private jet market. Ordering now ensures getting into the front of the line for a private 787, fully loaded, they say.

    PrivatAir, a Swiss company that markets charter and individual flights on privately configured big planes, is interested in buying a 787 from Boeing and in having it outfitted in true luxury, its chief executive, Greg Thomas, said.

    “We’ve signed a letter of intent and are still in negotiations about the finer points of the contract,” he said. “We have put money down; at the moment it’s refundable. We are very interested in the airplane — the capabilities are superb and it’s a classy product.”

    PrivatAir, which specializes in long-haul V.I.P. flights, manages a fleet of 50 aircraft, including a 757 that is chartered by governments worldwide for special purposes. The 757 is also used three or four times a year for so-called air-cruises — “around-the-world trips for 21 days, basically by retired Americans,” he said. Those trips can cost $50,000 to $70,000 a person.

    Such planes are also used for special business purposes. “We’ve done movie launches,” Mr. Thomas said. “We did the launches of ‘Ocean’s 11’ and ‘Ocean’s 12’ and ‘King Kong,’ ” he said. “The studio will rent the plane for the actors to go and do premieres. One of the ‘Matrix’ movies we whistle-stopped in Australia, New Zealand and Singapore to open the movie in several cities one day after another.”

    Mr. Thomas said PrivatAir had ordered a 767 aircraft and expected delivery late this year.

    Jumbo jets are often favored by Arab sheiks and other fabulously wealthy people who tend not to advertise their opulent lifestyles. A notch or two down-market, the 777’s, 767’s and 757’s are often coveted by corporate titans, among them Larry Page and Sergey Brin, the co-founders of Google, who bought a used 767 last year and spent millions converting it into a private jet.

    Airliner-size jets are also used by individual business people. Among them is Willie Gary, who grew up in a family of migrant workers in Florida but is now a prominent liability lawyer. Weary of wasting valuable time away from his family in commercial airports and eager to have the space to conduct business in the air, Mr. Gary bought a Boeing 737 several years ago and had it outfitted as a private jet. He also owns a 16-seat Gulfstream G2 that he refers to as his “second plane.”

    Mr. Gary planned to invest in a bigger private 757, but now he says he is ready to kick the tires of the 787 Dreamliner, once the plane is on the market.

    “On the 737, we can take depositions,” Mr. Gary said. “We have meetings and settlement conferences. It gives me the luxury of getting in and getting out and moving on. I’ve touched down in as many as five states in a day,” he said. “But I’m not going to keep the 737 forever. I’m a goal setter, and I’m always looking for something new.”

    Anticipating strong growth in private demand for the long-haul, airliner-size planes, Lufthansa Technik says it is setting up a unit to design 787 interiors for clients.

    The interiors have been developed in a partnership with Andrew Winch, who is best known for designing top-luxury interiors for big yachts.

    Over the years, Lufthansa Technik has designed the interiors for 12 jumbo 747’s, said Mr. Duenhaupt. A 747 purchased “green,” that is, with basically a bare interior, costs about $180 million, he said. “And then, if you really want that 747 to be a full-blown V.I.P. aircraft, with all the V.I.P. luxuries, you can spend up to $50 million more on the interior.”

    Some private 747’s are even equipped with medical emergency rooms, “including ones that can do open-heart surgery when people are flying into a certain environment,” Mr. Duenhaupt said. “But preferably the surgery is done on the ground when the plane has landed.”

    Luthnansa Technik is now working on preliminary designs for the much-delayed Airbus A380, which will be the biggest plane in the sky once it is available.

    In addition to its size, which will allow for even more luxury, the A380 has a feature that may appeal to the most status-conscious of owners, who may travel with underlings. That feature harks back to the days of ocean liners, where social classes were physically segregated.

    “The A380 will offer a chance to separate the senior V.I.P.’s from the junior V.I.P.’s because you have two decks, and they can be kept apart,” Mr. Duenhaupt said.


  • Dietary Habits and Violent Behavior,Korean Nuclear Crisis,Airline Policy on Breast Milk, Puberty

    Preschool Puberty, and a Search for the Causes

     
     
    October 17, 2006

    Preschool Puberty, and a Search for the Causes

    Parents often think their children grow up too quickly, but few are prepared for the problem that Dr. Michael Dedekian and his colleagues at the University of Massachusetts Medical School reported recently.

    At the annual Pediatric Academic Society meeting in May in San Francisco, they presented a report that described how a preschool-age girl, and then her kindergarten-age brother, mysteriously began growing pubic hair. These cases were not isolated; in 2004, pediatric endocrinologists from San Diego reported a similar cluster of five children.

    It turns out that there have been clusters of cases in which children have prematurely developed signs of puberty, outbreaks similar to epidemics of influenza or environmental poisonings. In 1979, the medical journal The Lancet described an outbreak of breast enlargement among hundreds of Italian schoolchildren, probably caused by estrogen contamination of beef and poultry. Similar epidemics in Puerto Rico and Haiti were tracked by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the 1980's.

    Increasingly — though the science is still far from definitive and the precise number of such cases is highly speculative — some physicians worry that children are at higher risk of early puberty as a result of the increasing prevalence of certain drugs, cosmetics and environmental contaminants, called "endocrine disruptors," that can cause breast growth, pubic hair development and other symptoms of puberty.

    Most commonly, outbreaks of puberty in children are traced to accidental drug exposures from products that are used incorrectly.

    Dr. Dedekian's first patient was evaluated for possible genetic endocrine problems and a rare brain tumor before the cause of her puberty was discovered. It turned out that her testosterone level was almost 100 times normal, in the range of an adult man. The same problem affected her brother.

    The doctors realized that the girl's father was using a concentrated testosterone skin cream bought from an Internet compounding pharmacy for cosmetic and sexual performance purposes. From normal skin contact with their father, the children absorbed the testosterone, which caused pubic hair growth and genital enlargement. The boy, in particular, also developed some aggressive behavior problems.

    Sex hormones are potent because they are easily absorbed through the skin and resist degradation better than many other hormones. Unlike protein-based hormones like insulin, sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen are technically steroids, meaning they are derived from cholesterol.

    Primarily made by the liver, cholesterol begins with tiny pieces of sugar that are joined, twisted and oxidized in a dizzying series to make an end product that resembles the interlinked rings of the Olympic emblem. Dr. Joseph L. Goldstein, Nobel Laureate and a biochemist in Texas, once called it "the most highly decorated small molecule in biology," because 13 Nobel Prizes have been awarded for its study.

    Through further processing, primarily in the gonads and adrenal glands, cholesterol is converted into sex hormones like estrogen and testosterone. Kenneth Lee Jones, the former chief of pediatrics at the University of California, San Diego, noted pediatric cases similar to those described by Dr. Dedekian in a 2004 report in the journal Pediatrics.

    At that time, unregulated "prohormones" like Andro, famously used by Mark McGwire, the former St. Louis Cardinals power hitter, and banned by federal law in 2005, were available as topical sprays used to enhance libido. Dr. Jones said the sprays used by adults in some households permeated the children's bedsheets, and the early puberty stopped only when the adults stopped using the sprays and also discarded old sheets.

    Testosterone-containing products are not the only trigger of disordered puberty in children.

    In a 1998 paper in the journal Clinical Pediatrics, Dr. Chandra Tiwary, the former chief of pediatric endocrinology at Brook Army Medical Center in Texas, reported an outbreak of early breast development in four young African-American girls who used shampoos that contained estrogen and placental extract. The early puberty reversed once the shampoo was stopped.

    In the tradition of previous physicians who deliberately exposed themselves to possible pathogens, Dr. Tiwary tried the shampoos on himself. He carefully measured his own levels of various male and female sex hormones to establish his baseline, used the shampoos for a few days, then repeated the tests.

    While Dr. Tiwary is quick to admit that his unpublished findings must be interpreted with great caution, some of his sex hormone levels changed by almost 40 percent after he used the shampoos. In some cases, substances other than sex steroids may also disrupt normal sexual development. In Boston at the annual Endocrine Society meeting in June, Clifford Bloch of the University of Colorado School of Medicine presented several cases of young men who had developed marked breast enlargement from using shampoos containing lavender and tea tree oils, which are widely used essential oil additives that present no problem for adults. (Unlike Dr. Dedekian's cases, these cases were not a result of passive transfer from parents. The boys themselves used the shampoos.)

    Dr. Bloch collaborated with scientists at the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences in North Carolina to test the oils on human breast cells grown in test tubes. Lavender and tea tree oil had the same effect on the cells as estrogen.

    Dr. Bloch speculates that the findings, which he is submitting for publication in a peer-reviewed journal, may explain the boys' breast growth. He noted, however, that cells in a test tube are a far cry from humans, so the relationship of the essential oil to breast growth remains hypothetical.

    While pediatric endocrinologists have implicated pharmaceutical or personal care products for causing pubertal problems in children, some environmental scientists also claim that some widespread industrial and pharmaceutical pollutants harm the normal sexual development of fish and animals. By extension, they may also contribute to earlier or disrupted puberty in children, these scientists contend. Robert Havelock, a senior reproductive toxicologist at the Environmental Protection Agency, said these concerns "caused a shift in worry from cancer to noncancer" effects of environmental pollution over the past decade.

    In 1994, scientists found that estrogen-like chemicals from plastics manufacturing plants that had contaminated sewers in England caused genetically male fish to develop into females. In the early 1980's, major spills of the DDT-like pesticide dicofol in Florida led to the "feminization" of the reproductive tracts of male alligators.

    Robert Cooper, the chief of endocrinology at the reproductive toxicology division of the Environmental Protection Agency, says various sources of endocrine disruptors, like manufacturing chemicals, may be leaching into the environment. While their relation to pubertal problems in children remains highly speculative, he believes further study is needed.

    Past epidemiological evidence, however, does worry Dr. Cooper, because some chemical exposures have been associated with early puberty. In 1973, thousands of Michigan residents ate food contaminated by a flame retardant, PBB, which was later correlated with earlier menstruation in girls. In Puerto Rico, which has some of the world's highest rates of early puberty, the condition was linked to higher levels of a plasticizer called phthalate in affected children.

    Governmental efforts to create a systematic method to assess possible endocrine disruptors from environmental sources have stalled.

    In 1996, Congress directed the E.P.A. to develop a comprehensive screening program for possible endocrine disruptors within three years. Dr. Cooper says no such program has begun operation, a failure he attributed largely to stonewalling by chemical industry representatives who serve on an advisory committee for the program. Now the proposed rollout is December 2007, but Dr. Cooper said, "They may be dreaming." Critics cite the program's high potential costs and lack of reliable laboratory tests.

    Protecting children from endocrine disrupters in cosmetics and prescription drugs may also be difficult in the near future.

    In 1989, the Food and Drug Administration proposed allowing up to 10,000 units of estrogen per ounce of cosmetic, the approximate oral daily dose of hormone replacement therapy for postmenopausal women. Dr. Tiwary said that in the early 1990's he filed an adverse drug report with the agency about hormone-containing shampoos but that to his knowledge, it never came to anything.

    Reached by e-mail, a spokeswoman for the F.D.A. said that the agency was "aware of some reports describing premature sexual devolepment" with shampoos but that it had concluded that "there is no reason for consumers to be concerned."

    At this time, "placental materials are neither prohibited by cosmetic regulations nor restricted" by the F.D.A., she wrote.

    Dr. Dedekian said that while prohormones like Andro are no longer commercially available, lax regulation of so-called compounding pharmacies allows the manufacture and sale of concentrated testosterone creams, like the one affecting his patient, without government oversight.

    Topical lotions and creams containing testosterone may become more common. In 2000, Solvay Pharmaceuticals secured F.D.A. approval for Androgel, a lotion to treat a syndrome the company calls low T, referring to low testosterone. According to the company's Web site, the condition affects 13 million men over 45. From 2000 to 2004, the number of testosterone prescriptions doubled to over 2.4 million a year.

    Solvay Pharmaceuticals referred questions on Androgel's possible risks to Natan Bar-Chama, an associate professor of urology at Mount Sinai School of Medicine.

    Dr. Bar-Chama acknowledged the theoretical risks of transfer of the hormone through skin contact with children, but he said he had never seen a case among the hundreds of men he has treated. He added, however, that it was prudent to take precautions when using the product, including hand-washing after handling the gel and wearing clothing to avoid skin-to-skin contact with others.

    In 2003, an Institute of Medicine report stated, "There has been increasing concern about the increase in the number of men using testosterone and the lack of scientific data on the benefits and risks of this therapy."

    Dr. Dan Blazer, a psychiatrist at Duke who was chairman of the committee, said, "In no way did we find a condition that we defined as low T."

    The major clinical trial of Androgel's effectiveness for low T, published in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism in 2000, included neither a placebo group (patients who received an inactive dummy lotion) nor a control group (patients who did not have low T) for comparison.

    Dr. Ronald Swerdloff, the chief of endocrinology at Harbor-U.C.L.A. Medical Center in Torrance, Calif., and a consultant for Solvay, who ran the study, said the trial was limited in scope since it examined "a new route of administration for an already established drug."

    Darshak M. Sanghavi is a pediatric cardiologist at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.


     

    Airline Policy on Mother's Breast Milk

    David Chelsea
     
    October 15, 2006
    Modern Love

    Nursing My Daughter, and Some Grievances

    THE airport security agent took my frozen gel packs. I had brought them to keep my breast milk cool as I flew from Maine to Wisconsin to attend a three-day potato conference, where I was to report on a new, environmentally friendly brand of potato.

    I already had mixed feelings about leaving my infant daughter, Riley, and her 3-year-old sister at home with my husband so I could take this trip. But I had to go, and John is a loving, capable parent. He does, of course, lack the ability to nurse, but I had left 60 ounces of breast milk in the freezer. Worst case, Riley would cry for me. I consoled myself with the thought that at least my milk supply would remain continuous. I would keep it flowing with my breast pump while I was away. In that sense, I wouldn't be leaving her.

    I knew I would have to endure some logistical gymnastics on the trip when it came to breast pumping, but I was confident in my problem-solving abilities. In the six months since Riley was born, I had learned how to pump while driving and had survived a female senior vice president's gaze at my pump-clad nipples in the corporate shower stall.

    But this was a new problem. Without ice, all my hard-earned breast milk would sour before I could refrigerate it. And I needed that milk to feed Riley during my next business trip two weeks later.

    After throwing my gel packs into the trash, the agent offered the best advice she could: "Don't get ice at Starbucks. You can't bring that on the plane, either. You can get some from the flight attendant."

    Imagining loose ice melting over everything in the overhead bin, I asked, "Do you have a Ziploc bag?"

    She shook her head.

    The magazine store, not surprisingly, did not have one, either.

    In the bathroom near my gate, I sat in a toilet stall, trying to keep the pump and its parts from touching the floor, the toilet seat, anything. For 25 minutes I stared at the gray metal wall, conscious of the mechanical wah- wah ringing out amid the clunking stall doors, shuffling footsteps and flushing toilets. Since the day happened to be the anniversary of 9-11, was someone going to report the mysterious sound to security? Even I couldn't shake the feeling that the sound was suspicious. Like just about everything else people do in bathroom stalls that doesn't involve going to the bathroom.

    When I reached the gate, the representatives at the desk were all men, three of them. "There aren't any Ziploc bags on the plane, are there?" I asked.

    They looked at me strangely.

    I decided just to say it: "Security took my gel packs and I need something to put ice in to keep my breast milk cool."

    Their eyes widened with shock, sympathy and did-I-detect-a-smile?

    "I don't think we do," one of them said.

    "Terrorism," I said with a gentle roll of the eyes, trying to redirect the talk from my breasts to something we all could relate to: namely, terrorism's power to change the world in unpredictable and unnewsworthy ways. After all, terrorism had already made me say "breast milk" to strangers. Twice so far.

    I was starting to think I would have to "pump and dump" (pump to tell my body there's still a baby to feed, but throw out the milk). For the last six months, I had worked hard to breast-feed and pump, totaling about 35 hours a week, so that Riley would have the health benefits of breast milk when I was at work or away. And now, after all that, I was going to be thwarted by a new Transportation Security Administration regulation?

    The irony was not lost on me that I was about to forgo the fundamental relationship of mother-feeding-daughter so that I could participate marginally in the more abstract relationship of potatoes-feeding-society.

    On the plane, I plunked the ice from the flight attendant into two extra bottles I had found in my pump bag and nestled the new "ice packs" next to the warm milk in the overhead compartment.

    On the next flight, I had to pump in the airplane bathroom. The noise of the plane engines made it impossible to hear if anyone was walking up to use the bathroom. Just when I thought I should disassemble the whole operation to open the door and check, the seatbelt light dinged on, ostensibly keeping other bathroom-goers in place. I pumped in relative peace for 30 minutes, pondering the likelihood of injury during real turbulence.

    AT the conference, I ate potato sorbet and met a potato farmer, Larry Aslum, who was working with the International Crane Foundation to figure out how to prevent sandhill cranes from poking holes in $20,000 worth of his crop. I saw a machine called a winrower, about the size of a house, crawl across a field, dig up four rows of potatoes and shuttle them into a truck.

    Meanwhile, in my hotel room, I accumulated bags of breast milk in a blue six-pack-size cooler that I had filled with ice from the machine down the hall.

    On my last day, during a visit to Larry's farm, I asked him, "Is there a private room where" —again I searched for socially appropriate words and found none — "I could breast pump?"

    He scurried to direct me to his parts room, which was like a hardware store the size of a walk-in closet. There was nowhere to sit, so for the first time I pumped standing up. Later I pumped on the highway in the bus bathroom. The sink was out of order, but there were Handi Wipes.

    By the time I arrived at the airport, the ice from the hotel had almost melted. I went to the nearest cafe for more. "Fifteen cents a cup," the tired-looking cashier said. I would have paid $50, considering how hard I had worked for that milk. I filled my cooler with the fresh ice and then checked it along with my suitcase.

    After my flight, I wondered how I was going to pump before making my tight connection. And I had to go through security again.

    While in line at the checkpoint, I discreetly felt my breasts and was surprised to find lumps as hard as wood, and about the size of, well, creamer potatoes. They hurt. I wondered if I was getting an infection from all the pumping near farm parts and toilets or if this was just what happened when you waited too long.

    I took off my shoes, put my bags into the bin, and dumped the ice that was keeping my newly pumped milk cool. Then the security agent said that I couldn't take any milk onto the plane unless I had a baby with me. I told him that I wouldn't have milk in a bag if I had my baby with me.

    We started arguing. I feared I was going to miss my flight. I knew it was fruitless to try to explain how much this milk meant to me, that it was, at this point, my only primal connection to my baby back home. It was mother's milk — was I really going to have to throw it in the trash? Yes. I tossed it into the gray can.

    Sadness shot through me, then anger. "How many women have you made throw away breast milk today?"

    "Six," he said.

    "I'm sure they were all as livid as I am."

    "Actually," he said, "You're the nicest one."

    I wished I had been meaner. Was this rule, I wondered, a result of a lack of consideration by the Transportation Security Administration for breast-pumping mothers or a judgment call: the risk of damage from a milk bomb being great enough to merit preventing mothers from giving their babies the most healthful food? A small voice inside my head said, "If it's so important to you, stay home." That didn't feel right, either.

    By the time I reached the gate, there were only 25 minutes before takeoff. I sat in the nearest bathroom stall with the pump on, wishing my milk would come faster. I tried to picture my baby, which is supposed to help. And it did help with the milk, but not with my anguish over being away from her, which only increased.

    Once the milk started coming, I massaged the hard, sore lumps in my breasts, hoping to relieve the over-full ducts. With only one ounce collected, I realized I didn't have time to continue. As I was frantically disassembling the pump, I heard my name on the loudspeaker. I ran. That 10 o'clock flight was the last one home.

    I didn't finish pumping in the plane bathroom. I just didn't have the energy. I flew home with hard, swollen breasts, hoping that the code orange they kept broadcasting in the airports was based on fear and not reality. I just wanted to go home to my family.

    WE landed. I waited for my bags. And waited. The conveyor belt turned off. The lights over the carousel went out. The man in the lost luggage booth said that my bags had probably missed the connection. At the earliest, I would see them at 2 p.m. the next day. If they were lost, the airline would reimburse me.

    I couldn't contain my sadness and frustration: "They can't reimburse me. My breast milk is in there." There I went again (total count of saying "breast milk" to strange men: six times). I imagined my little blue cooler lost somewhere in La Guardia, on the tarmac perhaps, in one of those luggage carts, the ice inside rapidly melting.

    By the time I got home, it was after midnight and everyone was asleep, the house dark. But Riley's crib was bathed in a sliver of light from the bathroom, and from the doorway I could see the tiny mound of her asleep in a kneeling position, her head turned to the side. The sight was all I needed, and almost more than I could bear.

    The next afternoon, a woman called from the airport to say my bags had arrived. Twenty minutes later, she was ushering me into a storage room. There was my blue cooler. When I picked it up, I heard the sweet sound of ice water knocking. Someone had wrapped tape three times around the lid seam for extra insulation. Attached to the handle was a tag that read in black uppercase letters: "RUSH."

    Lindsay Sterling, who lives in Freeport, Me., recently finished her first novel.


    Korean Crisis


    The US secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, speaks at a joint press conference with the Japanese foreign minister, Taro Aso
    The US secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, speaks at a joint press conference with the Japanese foreign minister, Taro Aso. Photograph: Itsuo

     

    Rice vows to back allies over North Korea crisis

    Agencies
    Wednesday October 18, 2006

    Guardian Unlimited

    The United States secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, today reassured Japan that America was prepared to use the "full range" of its military might to defend the country amid concerns over North Korea's recent nuclear weapon test.

    "The United States has the will and the capability to meet the full range, and I underscore full range, of its deterrent and security commitments to Japan," Ms Rice told a news conference in Tokyo.

    Washington is worried Japan and South Korea might build up arms in response to North Korea, which tested a nuclear weapon last week.

    "That is why it is extremely important to go out and reaffirm, and reaffirm strongly, US defence commitments to Japan and to South Korea," Ms Rice said.

    Referring to an arms race, she added: "We have a lot of means to prevent that from happening."

    Speaking at a press conference after meeting the Japanese foreign minister, Taro Aso, Ms Rice said the United States had no desire to escalate the crisis over North Korea's nuclear test.

    She also urged the "swift and effective implantation" of United Nations sanctions against North Korea.

    Ms Rice made the comments amid fears of Pyongyang conducting a second test.

    "The United States has no desire to escalate this crisis. We would like to see it de-escalate," said Ms Rice at a joint news conference with Mr Aso.

    The Japanese foreign ministers told reporters that Japan was "absolutely not considering a need to be armed by nuclear weapons".

    "We do not need to acquire nuclear arms with an assurance by US secretary of state Rice that the bilateral alliance would work without fault," he said.

    Ms Rice also described North Korea's "unacceptable" behaviour as isolating it from the world community.

    The North Korean government responded to United Nations sanctions against its nuclear test on October 9 as an " act of war". It warned it "wants peace but is not afraid of war" and that it would "deal merciless blows" against anyone who violated its sovereignty.

    The sanctions include inspection of all North Korean ships travelling in and out of the country.

    Ms Rice sidestepped the issue of Japan conducting military searches of vessels in international seas, which is complicated by the nation's pacifist constitution.

    She did, however, raise concerns about North Korea selling nuclear material to others and said they would be held accountable if nuclear transfers to other countries occurred. Ms Rice was later due to meet with the defence chief, Fumio Kyuma, and the prime minister, Shinzo Abe, before travelling to South Korea for talks.

    Guardian Unlimited © Guardian News and Media Limited 2006

     

    Violent Behavior and Dietary Habits

    Omega-3, junk food and the link between violence and what we eat

    Research with British and US offenders suggests nutritional deficiencies may play a key role in aggressive bevaviour

    Felicity Lawrence
    Tuesday October 17, 2006

    Guardian

    That Dwight Demar is able to sit in front of us, sober, calm, and employed, is "a miracle", he declares in the cadences of a prayer-meeting sinner. He has been rocking his 6ft 2in bulk to and fro while delivering a confessional account of his past into the middle distance. He wants us to know what has saved him after 20 years on the streets: "My dome is working. They gave me some kind of pill and I changed. Me, myself and I, I changed."

    Demar has been in and out of prison so many times he has lost count of his convictions. "Being drunk, being disorderly, trespass, assault and battery; you name it, I did it. How many times I been in jail? I don't know, I was locked up so much it was my second home."

    Demar has been taking part in a clinical trial at the US government's National Institutes for Health, near Washington. The study is investigating the effects of omega-3 fatty acid supplements on the brain, and the pills that have effected Demar's "miracle" are doses of fish oil.

    The results emerging from this study are at the cutting edge of the debate on crime and punishment. In Britain we lock up more people than ever before. Nearly 80,000 people are now in our prisons, which reached their capacity this week.

    But the new research calls into question the very basis of criminal justice and the notion of culpability. It suggests that individuals may not always be responsible for their aggression. Taken together with a study in a high-security prison for young offenders in the UK, it shows that violent behaviour may be attributable at least in part to nutritional deficiencies.

    The UK prison trial at Aylesbury jail showed that when young men there were fed multivitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids, the number of violent offences they committed in the prison fell by 37%. Although no one is suggesting that poor diet alone can account for complex social problems, the former chief inspector of prisons Lord Ramsbotham says that he is now "absolutely convinced that there is a direct link between diet and antisocial behaviour, both that bad diet causes bad behaviour and that good diet prevents it."

    The Dutch government is currently conducting a large trial to see if nutritional supplements have the same effect on its prison population. And this week, new claims were made that fish oil had improved behaviour and reduced aggression among children with some of the most severe behavioural difficulties in the UK.

    Deficiency

    For the clinician in charge of the US study, Joseph Hibbeln, the results of his trial are not a miracle, but simply what you might predict if you understand the biochemistry of the brain and the biophysics of the brain cell membrane. His hypothesis is that modern industrialised diets may be changing the very architecture and functioning of the brain.

    We are suffering, he believes, from widespread diseases of deficiency. Just as vitamin C deficiency causes scurvy, deficiency in the essential fats the brain needs and the nutrients needed to metabolise those fats is causing of a host of mental problems from depression to aggression. Not all experts agree, but if he is right, the consequences are as serious as they could be. The pandemic of violence in western societies may be related to what we eat or fail to eat. Junk food may not only be making us sick, but mad and bad too.

    In Demar's case the aggression has blighted many lives. He has attacked his wife. "Once she put my TV out the door, I snapped off and smacked her." His last spell in prison was for a particularly violent assault. "I tried to kill a person. Then I knew something need be done because I was half a hundred and I was either going to kill somebody or get killed."

    Demar's brain has blanked out much of that last attack. He can remember that a man propositioned him for sex, but the details of his own response are hazy.

    When he came out of jail after that, he bought a can of beer and seemed headed for more of the same until a case worker who had seen adverts for Hibbeln's trial persuaded him to take part.

    The researchers at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, which is part of NIH, had placed adverts for aggressive alcoholics in the Washington Post in 2001. Some 80 volunteers came forward and have since been enrolled in the double blind study. They have ranged from homeless people to a teacher to a former secret service agent. Following a period of three weeks' detoxification on a locked ward, half were randomly assigned to 2 grams per day of the omega-3 fatty acids EPA and DHA for three months, and half to placebos of fish-flavoured corn oil.

    An earlier pilot study on 30 patients with violent records found that those given omega-3 supplements had their anger reduced by one-third, measured by standard scales of hostility and irritability, regardless of whether they were relapsing and drinking again. The bigger trial is nearly complete now and Dell Wright, the nurse administering the pills, has seen startling changes in those on the fish oil rather than the placebo. "When Demar came in there was always an undercurrent of aggression in his behaviour. Once he was on the supplements he took on the ability not to be impulsive. He kept saying, 'This is not like me'."

    Demar has been out of trouble and sober for a year now. He has a girlfriend, his own door key, and was made employee of the month at his company recently. Others on the trial also have long histories of violence but with omega-3 fatty acids have been able for the first time to control their anger and aggression. J, for example, arrived drinking a gallon of rum a day and had 28 scars on his hand from punching other people. Now he is calm and his cravings have gone. W was a 19st barrel of a man with convictions for assault and battery. He improved dramatically on the fish oil and later told doctors that for the first time since the age of five he had managed to go three months without punching anyone in the head.

    Threat to society

    Hibbeln is a psychiatrist and physician, but as an employee of the US government at the NIH he wears the uniform of a commander, with his decorations for service pinned to his chest. As we queued to get past the post-9/11 security checks at the NIH federal base, he explained something of his view of the new threat to society.

    Over the last century most western countries have undergone a dramatic shift in the composition of their diets in which the omega-3 fatty acids that are essential to the brain have been flooded out by competing omega-6 fatty acids, mainly from industrial oils such as soya, corn, and sunflower. In the US, for example, soya oil accounted for only 0.02% of all calories available in 1909, but by 2000 it accounted for 20%. Americans have gone from eating a fraction of an ounce of soya oil a year to downing 25lbs (11.3kg) per person per year in that period. In the UK, omega-6 fats from oils such as soya, corn, and sunflower accounted for 1% of energy supply in the early 1960s, but by 2000 they were nearly 5%. These omega-6 fatty acids come mainly from industrial frying for takeaways, ready meals and snack foods such as crisps, chips, biscuits, ice-creams and from margarine. Alcohol, meanwhile, depletes omega-3s from the brain.

    To test the hypothesis, Hibbeln and his colleagues have mapped the growth in consumption of omega-6 fatty acids from seed oils in 38 countries since the 1960s against the rise in murder rates over the same period. In all cases there is an unnerving match. As omega-6 goes up, so do homicides in a linear progression. Industrial societies where omega-3 consumption has remained high and omega-6 low because people eat fish, such as Japan, have low rates of murder and depression.

    Of course, all these graphs prove is that there is a striking correlation between violence and omega 6-fatty acids in the diet. They don't prove that high omega-6 and low omega-3 fat consumption actually causes violence. Moreover, many other things have changed in the last century and been blamed for rising violence - exposure to violence in the media, the breakdown of the family unit and increased consumption of sugar, to take a few examples. But some of the trends you might expect to be linked to increased violence - such as availability of firearms and alcohol, or urbanisation - do not in fact reliably predict a rise in murder across countries, according to Hibbeln.

    There has been a backlash recently against the hype surrounding omega-3 in the UK from scientists arguing that the evidence remains sketchy. Part of the backlash stems from the eagerness of some supplement companies to suggest that fish oils work might wonders even on children who have no behavioural problems.

    Alan Johnson, the education secretary, appeared to be jumping on the bandwagon recently when he floated the idea of giving fish oils to all school children. The idea was quickly knocked down when the food standards agency published a review of the evidence on the effect of nutrition on learning among schoolchildren and concluded there was not enough to conclude much, partly because very few scientific trials have been done.

    Professor John Stein, of the department of physiology at Oxford University, where much of the UK research on omega-3 fatty acid deficiencies has been based, agrees: "There is only slender evidence that children with no particular problem would benefit from fish oil. And I would always say [for the general population] it's better to get omega-3 fatty acids by eating fish, which carries all the vitamins and minerals needed to metabolise them."

    However, he believes that the evidence from the UK prison study and from Hibbeln's research in the US on the link between nutritional deficiency and crime is " strong", although the mechanisms involved are still not fully understood.

    Hibbeln, Stein and others have been investigating what the mechanisms of a causal relationship between diet and aggression might be. This is where the biochemistry and biophysics comes in.

    Essential fatty acids are called essential because humans cannot make them but must obtain them from the diet. The brain is a fatty organ - it's 60% fat by dry weight, and the essential fatty acids are what make part of its structure, making up 20% of the nerve cells' membranes. The synapses, or junctions where nerve cells connect with other nerve cells, contain even higher concentrations of essential fatty acids - being made of about 60% of the omega-3 fatty acid DHA.

    Communication between the nerve cells depends on neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine, docking with receptors in the nerve cell membrane.

    Omega-3 DHA is very long and highly flexible. When it is incorporated into the nerve cell membrane it helps make the membrane itself elastic and fluid so that signals pass through it efficiently. But if the wrong fatty acids are incorporated into the membrane, the neurotransmitters can't dock properly. We know from many other studies what happens when the neurotransmitter systems don't work efficiently. Low serotonin levels are known to predict an increased risk of suicide, depression and violent and impulsive behaviour. And dopamine is what controls the reward processes in the brain.

    Laboratory tests at NIH have shown that the composition of tissue and in particular of the nerve cell membrane of people in the US is different from that of the Japanese, who eat a diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids from fish. Americans have cell membranes higher in the less flexible omega-6 fatty acids, which appear to have displaced the elastic omega-3 fatty acids found in Japanese nerve cells.

    Hibbeln's theory is that because the omega-6 fatty acids compete with the omega-3 fatty acids for the same metabolic pathways, when omega-6 dominates in the diet, we can't convert the omega-3s to DHA and EPA, the longer chain versions we need for the brain. What seems to happen then is that the brain picks up a more rigid omega-6 fatty acid DPA instead of DHA to build the cell membranes - and they don't function so well.

    Other experts blame the trans fats produced by partial hydrogenation of industrial oils for processed foods. Trans fats have been shown to interfere with the synthesis of essentials fats in foetuses and infants. Minerals such as zinc and the B vitamins are needed to metabolise essential fats, so deficiencies in these may be playing an important part too.

    There is also evidence that deficiencies in DHA/EPA at times when the brain is developing rapidly - in the womb, in the first 5 years of life and at puberty - can affect its architecture permanently. Animal studies have shown that those deprived of omega-3 fatty acids over two generations have offspring who cannot release dopamine and serotonin so effectively.

    "The extension of all this is that if children are left with low dopamine as a result of early deficits in their own or their mother's diets, they cannot experience reward in the same way and they cannot learn from reward and punishment. If their serotonin levels are low, they cannot inhibit their impulses or regulate their emotional responses," Hibbeln points out.

    Mental health

    Here too you have one possible factor in cycles of deprivation (again, no one is suggesting diet is the only factor) and why criminal behaviour is apparently higher among lower socio-economic groups where nutrition is likely to be poorer.

    These effects of the industrialisation of the diet on the brain were also predicted in the 1970s by a leading fats expert in the UK, Professor Michael Crawford, now at London's Metropolitan University. He established that DHA was structural to the brain and foresaw that deficiencies would lead to a surge in mental health and behavioural problems - a prediction borne out by the UK's mental health figures.

    It was two decades later before the first study of the effect of diet on behaviour took place in a UK prison. Bernard Gesch, now a senior researcher at Stein's Oxford laboratory, first became involved with nutrition and its relationship to crime as a director of the charity Natural Justice in northwest England. He was supervising persistent offenders in the community and was struck by their diets. He later set out to test the idea that poor diet might cause antisocial behaviour and crime in the maximum security Aylesbury prison.

    His study, a placebo-controlled double blind randomised trial, took 231 volunteer prisoners and assigned half to a regime of multivitamin, mineral and essential fatty acid supplements and half to placebos. The supplement aimed to bring the prisoners' intakes of nutrients up to the level recommended by government. It was not specifically a fatty acid trial, and Gesch points out that nutrition is not pharmacology but involves complex interactions of many nutrients.

    Prison trial

    Aylesbury was at the time a prison for young male offenders, aged 17 to 21, convicted of the most serious crimes. Trevor Hussey was then deputy governor and remembers it being a tough environment. "It was a turbulent young population. They had problems with their anger. They were all crammed into a small place and even though it was well run you got a higher than normal number of assaults on staff and other prisoners."

    Although the governor was keen on looking at the relationship between diet and crime, Hussey remembers being sceptical himself at the beginning of the study. The catering manager was good, and even though prisoners on the whole preferred white bread, meat and confectionery to their fruit and veg, the staff tried to encourage prisoners to eat healthily, so he didn't expect to see much of a result.

    But quite quickly staff noticed a significant drop in the number of reported incidents of bad behaviour. "We'd just introduced a policy of 'earned privileges' so we thought it must be that rather than a few vitamins, but we used to joke 'maybe it's Bernard's pills'."

    But when the trial finished it became clear that the drop in incidents of bad behaviour applied only to those on the supplements and not to those on the placebo.

    The results, published in 2002, showed that those receiving the extra nutrients committed 37% fewer serious offences involving violence, and 26% fewer offences overall. Those on the placebos showed no change in their behaviour. Once the trial had finished the number of offences went up by the same amount. The office the researchers had used to administer nutrients was restored to a restraint room after they had left.

    "The supplements improved the functioning of those prisoners. It was clearly something significant that can't be explained away. I was disappointed the results were not latched on to. We put a lot of effort into improving prisoners' chances of not coming back in, and you measure success in small doses."

    Gesch believes we should be rethinking the whole notion of culpability. The overall rate of violent crime in the UK has risen since the 1950s, with huge rises since the 1970s. "Such large changes are hard to explain in terms of genetics or simply changes of reporting or recording crime. One plausible candidate to explain some of the rapid rise in crime could be changes in the brain's environment. What would the future have held for those 231 young men if they had grown up with better nourishment?" Gesch says.

    He said he was currently unable to comment on any plans for future research in prisons, but studies with young offenders in the community are being planned.

    For Hibbeln, the changes in our diet in the past century are "a very large uncontrolled experiment that may have contributed to the societal burden of aggression, depression and cardiovascular death". To ask whether we have enough evidence to change diets is to put the question the wrong way round. Whoever said it was safe to change them so radically in the first place?

    Young offender's diet

    One young offender had been sentenced by the British courts on 13 occasions for stealing trucks in the early hours of the morning.

    Bernard Gesch recorded the boy's daily diet as follows:

    Breakfast: nothing (asleep)

    Mid morning: nothing (asleep)

    Lunchtime: 4 or 5 cups of coffee with milk and 2½ heaped teaspoons of sugar

    Mid afternoon: 3 or 4 cups of coffee with milk and 2½ heaped sugars

    Tea: chips, egg, ketchup, 2 slices of white bread, 5 cups of tea or coffee with milk and sugar

    Evening: 5 cups of tea or coffee with milk and sugar, 20 cigarettes, £2 worth of sweets, cakes and if money available 3 or 4 pints of beer.

    Guardian Unlimited © Guardian News and Media Limited 2006

  • September 22, 2006

    • Satire

       Satirical Self

      Lately, my father has been angry. Seventy-nine, a veteran of the U.S. Navy, a lifelong dues-paying member of three labor unions and now a collector of Social Security, my father, temperamentally a gentle person, is often filled with rage. The news does this to him, not so much the stories of tsunamis or hurricanes or any instances of environmental malice that lawyers call “acts of God.” No, acts of God fill my godless, liberal father with melancholy, if not sorrow, over the inequity of the world, whereas it is the iniquity of the world, what you might call “acts of man,” that are, these days, driving him to distraction. My father’s solution to such furies, dependable as the daily newspaper, to the anger that sets upon him when he learns of the latest folly in the corridors of power, is to turn to the op-ed pages. For our purposes here, it hardly matters who is writing, though, naturally, he has his favorites. What matters to him is that every day, in those well-reasoned column inches, he finds a mirror for his rage.

      Whereas, over the same period, his son has managed not to be angry, not in the least. Thirty-seven, a veteran of nothing, a subscription-paying reader of two magazines, a person whose Social Security pay-in, so far, is a sad little sum, I am, just as often as my father is furious, filled with mirth. Yes, I am aware of the disasters of the world, and they affect me no less deeply than they do him. What’s more, my father and I are of one mind about the inveterate folly, craven hypocrisy, unchecked greed, rampant abuse of office, ugly abuse of trust, vile abuse of language and galloping display of ignorance that has become a daily standard. And yes, I should admit that when I happen to think about such matters — when, say, my father phones me to chew over some morsel of maddening news — I find myself overtaken by a most unpleasant feeling. I imagine it is not unlike what must be suffered by a man who returns home after a long day’s work to find, in his absence, that his lovely house has been looted. And whereas my father, standing, as it were, at the front door of that plundered house, has come to find temporary shelter nearby, in reason — the arguments marshaled by those whose views he shares — I have found no relief in such reading, which lately I have forgone.

      In its stead, though, I have found a way not to be angry at all.

      I have taken shelter in the ridiculous.

      Imagine, for example, another warm morning in August 2005. The national atmosphere that summer was humid with talk of intelligent design, the evangelical putsch — in Pennsylvania, in Kansas, in America — to see pseudoscience imparted to our keen young scholars in place of the theory of evolution. My father, I knew, would be calling on such a day (and did) to rail thereupon. “Did you read Paul Krugman?” my father asked.

      “Of course,” I replied, “I did not read Paul Krugman.”

      What did I read? A newspaper I keep bookmarked on my computer browser and which, among many destinations, I visit every morning. Here, in part, is what it read:

      Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New “Intelligent Falling” Theory

      Aug. 17, 2005 | Issue 41.33

      Kansas City, KS — As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center for Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held “theory of gravity” is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

      “Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, ‘God’ if you will, is pushing them down,” said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture and physics from Oral Roberts University.

      Should N.S.A. satellite footage surface of me reading the above report — which appeared in The Onion: America’s Finest News Source — you would witness me nodding with pleasure, shaking with delight and laughing aloud (or, more accurately, snorting un-self-consciously). Why is this man snorting? I am doing so with relief, saved, as I was, from having to endure another reasonable argument in unreasonable times. This is, after all, a country where anyone is free to believe that the fingerprints of the Creator, however small, are discernible on even the tiniest microorganism (just as I am free to hold my sober conviction that chocolate rainbows pave the way to a heaven made of fudge). And yet, to my uncaffeinated morning self, intelligent design seemed as brusque a turn of the American evangelical screw as I had encountered — a crude, anticonstitutional crack at marrying church to state. It was just too ridiculous! How ridiculous was it? Pretty perfectly on par, I’d have to say, with the refutation, along evangelical lines, of gravity.

      That comedic turn, that comedic tone — a smart blend of parody and hyperbole and mockery — provided, that day, a remedy for my rage: it got channeled smoothly into ridicule. And that channel — a broadband of joco-serious rebuke — has been eating up the major part of my personal market share. As much as caffeine has become a matutinal necessity, a means of brokering, yet again, an uneasy truce with daylight, the kind of laughter — a well-aimed dart — induced by the larky bulletin above has become a no less necessary stimulant. How I hunger for that knowing tone! Like our little friend the lab rat at his lever — all a-jitter from another marching-powder marathon — I have acquired a taste for an addictive brand of fun.

      Which means, of course, that I’m in luck: for that tone has been resonating through every echelon of American culture, a shift affecting and informing every storytelling medium, whether factual or fictional. The Onion, of course, is only where my day gets cooking. Other browser bookmarks send me to half a dozen sites where I hope to extract similarly intemperate snorts. The best of these, for sure, I forward along to friends — fellow traffickers in yuks — who, young and old, unfailingly send me links found during their own morning frolics. These I follow no less intrepidly than Theseus did Ariadne’s thread, leading me, once again, out of my labyrinth of rage to that happier place: YouTube. There, with a dependability that would make a demographer pump his fist and an advertiser lose his shirt, I watch segments from “The Daily Show” and its spinoff, “The Colbert Report” (programs that, funnily enough, poached The Onion’s top writers). In such shows, then, I find that tone — so knowing, so over it, so smart, so asinine. And given the choice, these days, between a smartass and, well, a dumb ass, even the Academy Awards, that most treacle-toned of evenings, picked this year’s host from that clever category.

      And picking the smartass, it seems, is what we’ve been doing, across the televised board. We’ve been tuning in to “The Simpsons” (in its 18th season, the longest-running sitcom in television history), which pokes tirelessly away at the idea of the American family, not to say America. We’ve been turning on “South Park” (in its 10th season, the longest-running sitcom in cable-television history), with its bile-tongued children probing every asininity (and which made a successful trip to the big screen in “South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut”). We’ve been ordering in “Chappelle’s Show” (the top-selling DVD of a television series in, well. . .DVD history), with its now-embittered impresario, who, erewhile, was acid-tongued as he chewed up (and out) another cracker, whistling all the way. We’ve been showing up at “The Office,” in branches on either side of the Atlantic, each of which, with regionally adjusted inflections, paws away at its constricting white collar (not to say its creator’s later “Extras” — another kind of office, a celebrity waiting room with sexier furniture). Like the soulless producer in the Coen brothers’ “Barton Fink,” our Hollywood executives have been courting the equivalent of That Barton Fink Feeling: that ubiquitous tone — so “young,” so “hip,” so “edgy.” Like the lava lamp of yore, it has been tucked into the hot corner of every room, whether “Da Ali G Show,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Boondocks,” “American Dad!,” “King of the Hill,” “The Thick of It” or, on the big screen, the no less knowing “Dawns” — and Shaun — “of the Dead,” “American Dreamz” and “Thank You for Smoking.”

      But if we were to think that that tone — so sarcastic, so ironic, so sardonic — were trapped within entertainments trundled onto screens, we would be wrong. It has pervaded literary fiction for decades, from Joseph Heller’s “Catch-22” to Philip Roth’s “Our Gang” to David Foster Wallace’s “Infinite Jest.” No surprise, then, that it should feature in the work of our most heralded young authors of the past year, whether Gary Shteyngart’s unbridled “Absurdistan,” Colson Whitehead’s mocking “Apex Hides the Hurt,” Marisha Pessl’s madcap “Special Topics in Calamity Physics,” not to mention books by our more seasoned storytellers — “In Persuasion Nation,” by George Saunders; “The Diviners,” by Rick Moody; “Little Children,” by Tom Perotta; and “A Changed Man,” by Francine Prose.

      All of these varied entertainments — human emanations on the Web, on television, at the movies and between hardcovers (whatever their differences in ambition, conception and achievement) — are attuned to the ridiculous in modern life. They are all, in other words, satirical: they revel in, and trade on, knowingness. And if we seem to be enjoying a sort of golden age of the satirical, that invites the question How successfully does satire serve our culture? That there is so much might seem proof of its expediency. After all, what could be wrong with a mode of expression that orients a critical, comical eye to flaws in the contemporary weave? And yet, you might wonder, as well, whether a culture can have too much of that knowing tone and, if so, just what that “too much” might mean.

      The ancient Romans provide the beginnings of an answer, in large measure because that’s where satire has its beginnings. Just as Americans like to claim jazz as “our art form,” the Romans claimed satire as theirs. Gaius Lucilius (second century B.C.) was the first satirist, a writer vocal about the negative virtues of his fellow citizens — mostly the tendency to imitate their Greek neighbors in everything. As boastful as a modern-day rapper, Lucilius pointed to himself as the original Roman — not some Helleno-wannabe — as much because of what he lampooned (things Greek) as the fact that he lampooned at all. I am Roman, his writings say, hear me mock. And indeed, it was how such criticism was delivered that made satire different — and differently effective — from, say, a sermon. “A cultivated wit,” wrote Horace, a later Roman satirist, “one that badgers less, can persuade all the more. Artful ridicule can address contentious issues more competently and vigorously than can severity alone.” Sounding like the always-fulminating Lewis Black of “The Daily Show,” Rome’s Juvenal tells us: “It is harder not to write satire. For who could endure this monstrous city, however callous at heart, and swallow his wrath?. . .Today, every vice has reached its ruinous zenith. So, satirist, hoist your sails.” The idiot wind, blowing every time Rome’s hypocrites moved their mouths, drove her satirists, in their artful way, to bluster back, setting a course pursued by writers living in turbulent eras ever since.

      When, in 1729, the Tory politician Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) published his satirical “A Modest Proposal” — which, in the straight-faced language of a sermon, advocated solving the problem of poverty by selling Irish children as meat — his mode was perfectly ironic. Swift did not wish to see his countrymen’s children ground into shepherd’s pies. Rather, he wanted to level an attack on political opponents who were devouring the Irish people. Swift, then, was approaching a troubling question upside down and intimating a sarcastic answer. (As such, Stephen Colbert, in parodying Bill O’Reilly’s extreme rhetoric, is fully Swiftian: “The Colbert Report” works to convince us of the opposite of its host’s every misguided opinion.) For Swift’s part, he believed that satire was a way of “prompting men of genius and virtue to mend the world as far as they are able.” His fellow Augustan Alexander Pope wrote, “When truth or virtue an affront endures, the affront is mine, my friend, and should be yours.” And although satire could not be a remedy in and of itself, it was doing a good deal, Pope assured, when it could “deter, if not reform.”

      Indeed, this elegant, not to say defiant, means of addressing “affronts” to truth has proved a liberating mode of expression for authors across the ages, from Chaucer to Cervantes to Voltaire. Most comprehensible of all, perhaps, is the attraction that so insubordinate a brand of comedy, a very free kind of speech, held for writers in a country formed through insubordination — our own. Prerevolutionary America was rife with satirical pamphleteers, and even Benjamin Franklin, in his “Rules by Which a Great Empire May Be Reduced to a Small One,” lampooned the misadministration of the colonies. And yet, when readers today experience the best satires of our past, editorial points that once took center stage now shuffle toward the wings. Whether in the rueful parody of Mark Twain’s “War Prayer” (“It was a time of great and exalting excitement”), the wicked ironies of Ambrose Bierce’s “Devil’s Dictionary” (“Conversation, n. A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor”) or even the mordant sarcasm of Dorothy Parker’s “Comment” —

      Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

      A medley of extemporanea;

      And love is a thing that can never go wrong;

      And I am Marie of Roumania.

      — we are responding, not so much to the underlying “point” each author makes as to the virtuosity of its execution, the satirist’s fine ear for language, the pleasurable spectacle of seeing words used originally, used well. Yes, as it happens, Parker, Bierce and Twain are making timeless points: love, often unlovely; conversation, frequently dull; war, not exalting. No one, though, would needlepoint these revelations onto pillows — they’re old news. In the hands of an adept satirist, however, the old news satire brings becomes a special report. It reads, in part, that human civilization is not so wonderful: look, satire testifies, at the latest, artless shenanigans we’ve gotten ourselves into. But the report also shows that human civilization can be wonderful: look, satire says, at how artful we can be.

      Satire, then, signals both the sickness and health of a society in equal measure: it showcases the vigor of the satirist and the debility of the satiree. As such, we might conclude, in America, that its abundance suggests a normal balance of destructive yin and creative yang, a human need to view the most vexing frailties of a culture through the liberating prism of lampoon.

      An episode of “South Park” from last year, “Best Friends Forever,” was shown on the eve of Terri Schiavo’s final day, inspired by the grim battle among family members. Their private tragedy, we know well, became a series of loggerheaded squabbles in which efforts to reach consensus on what we mean by “human life” rapidly devolved. The creators of “South Park” addressed this rhetorical erosion with no small insight and freakish speed. (Like all their episodes, this one was produced in less than a week.) Kenny, the accident-prone child, is killed by an ice cream truck while playing his Sony PSP — the portable game console that, last year, was the grail of children everywhere. At the reading of Kenny’s will, Cartman, the obese, morally repugnant child who, on another episode, ate the parents of a kid he disliked, is left the PSP. Alas for Cartman, Kenny, dead for almost 24 hours, is belatedly revived. Now on a feeding tube and, as his doctor explains, in “a persistive vegetative state. . .like a tomato,” Kenny is, by law, alive. Kenny’s possessions, therefore, revert to him. As Cartman goes to the Colorado Supreme Court to seek the removal of Kenny’s feeding tube (so he can get the PSP), Kenny’s more altruistic friends, Kyle and Stan, court the media: “We’ll make everyone in the country know that they’re killing Kenny.”

      The national uproar that ensued on this cartoon was, in temper, not a great deal more cartoonish than the one that was playing out that evening in Schiavo’s real America. The episode, however distorted by crudity, mirrored the polarizing rage of our citizenry, recalling nothing so much as Ambrose Bierce’s satirical definition of conversation. The genius of “South Park,” scatologically over the top though it tends to be (Oprah, this season, was kidnapped at gunpoint by her vagina), is how it nonetheless manages, with glee, to go after everyone, artfully sketching our society’s inability to make sense of itself, to itself.

      Another target that our satirists have been skewering is our confusion about the responsibility that corporations, governments or, indeed, parents, have to tell the truth. Released in the spring of 2005, “Thank You for Smoking” (adapted from Christopher Buckley’s very funny novel) featured the charismatic tobacco-industry lobbyist Nick Naylor, a villain with a hero’s face and a salesman’s mouth. As one senator puts it, “The man shills. . .for a living,” a profession about which Nick’s son is curious. Joey, 12, understands that his father makes arguments on behalf of corporations, but given that the corporation in question manufactures death, he wonders what happens when his father’s arguments are wrong:

      NICK: Joey, I’m never wrong.

      JOEY: But you can’t always be right.

      NICK: Well, if it’s your job to be right, then you’re never wrong.

      JOEY: But what if you are wrong?

      NICK: O.K. Let’s say that you’re defending chocolate, and I’m defending vanilla. Now, if I were to say to you, “Vanilla is the best flavor ice cream,” you’d say. . .

      JOEY: No, chocolate is.

      NICK: Exactly. But you can’t win that argument. So, I’ll ask you, “So you think chocolate is the end all and be all of ice cream, do you?”

      JOEY: It’s the best ice cream. I wouldn’t order any other.

      NICK: Oh, so it’s all chocolate for you, is it?

      JOEY: Yes, chocolate is all I need.

      NICK: Well, I need more than chocolate. And for that matter, I need more than vanilla. I believe that we need freedom, and choice when it comes to our ice cream, and that, Joey Naylor, that is the definition of liberty.

      JOEY: But that’s not what we’re talking about.

      NICK: Ah. But that’s what I’m talking about.

      JOEY: But. . .you didn’t prove that vanilla’s the best.

      NICK: I didn’t have to. I proved that you’re wrong, and if you’re wrong, I’m right.

      JOEY: But you still didn’t convince me.

      NICK: I’m not after you. I’m after them.

      Nick’s “them” are the people beyond the table where they sit, the wider world he would have believe that smoking is an expression of freedom. For Nick, “liberty” is merely rhetorical: it is, as he says, what he’s “talking about.” He doesn’t mean a word of it: he only means to win. The truth is not his — or, we are to understand, perhaps no longer our — business.

      The business of scoring this frustratingly debased game of contemporary conversation has been the main focus of “The Daily Show.” Stewart et al. have built careers as liberal foils to conservative talk radio. Where the Limbaughosphere thrives on a muscular, hectoring rhetoric, the mode of “The Daily Show” has been a lampooning of such bullying. Although “The Daily Show” can revel in the same kind of posturing, even if the stance is far more liberal, the best of its work is restrained in the Horatian manner. The show’s “artful ridicule” is at its most scrupulous when attentive to, critical of and vocal about abuses of language. When James Frey, author of the fraudulent memoir “A Million Little Pieces,” was being torn apart by an array of talking heads indignant over his distortions, Stewart offered a deadpan summation that spoke to the perfervid journalistic outrage. Pundits were upset with Frey, Stewart explained, “because he misled us. . .into a book we had no business getting into.” Armed with scrupulous syntax alone, Stewart ironically evoked two infamies that rhymed with Frey’s: the claim that the Bush administration had misled us into war and the observation that the media, so severe in its judgments of Frey’s lie-world, had remained less dogged before the administration’s possible untruths.

      This is artful indeed, but a high point both for “The Daily Show” and contemporary satire more generally came shortly after The New Yorker published Seymour Hersh’s 2004 exposé, “Torture at Abu Ghraib.” There was genuine shock, both here and abroad, that a prison taken from a dictator who had used it to torture Iraqi dissidents had in turn served as a forum for the torture of Iraqis by their American “liberators.” Much of our high-flown rhetoric, billowing grandly over Operation Iraqi Freedom, collapsed on the mast. The irony — uncomplicatedly galling — seemed obvious enough, but its precise grade was measured nowhere more finely than in an exchange between Stewart and Rob Corddry, a player who has since departed. As Corddry explained to Stewart, his voice that of a schoolteacher instructing an uncommonly simple-minded child:

      Jon, there’s no question what took place in that prison was horrible, but the Arab world has to realize that the U.S. shouldn’t be judged on the actions of a. . .well, that we shouldn’t be judged on actions. It’s our principles that matter; our inspiring, abstract notions. Remember, Jon, just because torturing prisoners is something we did doesn’t mean it’s something we would do.

      This is not, as it is sometimes called, “fake news”; rather, blunt satire. Co-opting the patronizing, abstraction-rich rhetoric of the administration of which “The Daily Show” has often been critical, Corddry shined a bright light on an empty set of bromides. All too clearly, words can prove seductive — but only to a point: the point where such seductions become fundamentally ridiculous.

      Of recent examples of American satire, though, most remarkable may be Stephen Colbert’s appearance this spring at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner. For anyone familiar with Colbert’s lampoonery on “The Daily Show,” not to say his rise to headlining “The Colbert Report,” it was something to see him following in the footsteps of Cedric the Entertainer, Jay Leno and Drew Carey — comedians who most recently tummled at the pleasure of the president. Whatever your tastes, we can agree that they are creatures of the mainstream. Whereas Colbert is nothing if not a critic of that mainstream, one traveling its trashy wake. Consider, then, his straight-faced, pseudoconservative patter, as he expressed, that night, his parodic support of a president sitting a few feet away:

      I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message: that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound — with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

      Or how he “defended” the administration’s apparently chaotic profile:

      Everybody asks for personnel changes. So, the White House has personnel changes. And then you write, “Oh, they’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.” First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!

      And how he reproached the “liberal press that’s destroying America” for its lack of professionalism:

      Let’s review the rules. Here’s how it works: the president makes decisions. He’s the Decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put ’em through a spell-check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know — fiction!

      To go by the media swirl that followed, Colbert’s speech that night represents in our culture a culmination of what satire does well or, rather, cannot but do: when it bends to kiss a hand, it bites. Such Lucilian ferocity drew the intended attention. By a great many journalists, Colbert’s “antics” were deemed abusive, discourteous, tasteless. And yet, by a great many citizens, Colbert’s appearance was a moment of hallelujah: he made many people — most poignantly the press — uncomfortable. Colbert stood in their midst, yes, but stood apart, just as the first Roman satirists stood apart, initially from things Greek and then from the corruption that flooded the mainstream. Whatever its latest stance, satire always finds its footing high above the polluted river of a culture, a vantage point from which it taunts. From Juvenal to Swift, from Franklin to Twain: each stood above his era’s lies and, from such a lofty perspective, named the truths of his time.

      The appeal of such a mode of discourse to any vice-blighted age is understandable: it provides another means to editorial ends. And yet, more than merely editorializing, it also demonstrates a capacity for better behavior in human beings — our creativity, our subtlety, our panache. That so many people are responding to satire in the public square, and, indeed, that so much satire is thriving at a center usually held by more anodyne entertainments, suggests our hunger for the better — the better articulated, the better said, the better thought, the better done.

      At the outset, I said I had taken shelter in the ridiculous. Upon reflection, the ridiculous may not be the most well shielded of retreats. Can you take shelter in the ridiculous if everywhere becomes ridiculous? For the tools of satire, the sharp knives of sarcasm and the pointy shivs of irony and the toy hammer of lampoon are being wielded with widespread enthusiasm, and not merely by cunning builders of satirical speeches and stories. Rather, they are being lent to us all, to enable every possible construction. Did you hear, for example, the news conference President Bush gave in Germany over the summer? “I’m looking forward to the feast you’re going to have tonight,” he said to the German chancellor in a moment of folksy charm, “and I understand that I may have the honor of slicing the pig.” This drew laughs, and when his remarks wound down, the president repeated, “I’m looking forward to that pig tonight.” This before fielding the following from a reporter:

      “Does it concern you,” the man asked, stuttering, “that the Beirut airport has been bombed, and do you see a risk of triggering a wider war? And on Iran, they’ve so far refused to respond. Is it now past the deadline, or do they still have more time to respond?”

      “I thought,” Bush replied, “you were going to ask about the pig.”

      Try to ignore, if you can, the image of the carcass of a pig, Bush poised, knife in hand, ready to carve. Consider instead that when asked on an international stage about real carnage — about spreading violence in the Middle East, about a constellation of worries suggesting a world at the brink of war — the president’s reply did not take the questioner’s inquiry seriously but, rather, sarcastically. His rhetoric sounded less like that of a steward of state — one addressing serious matters with sobriety — than that of a smartass. And this was not Juvenal’s sarcasm, or Twain’s, or even Colbert’s: it was not elegantly tuned to a point nor artfully part of a formal design. It was, instead, almost perfectly inappropriate and, of course, not unindicative of the president’s normal rhetorical mode. For it is not, I think, as is so often said, that the president is as much inarticulate as he is too clearly articulate, in a way: his tone, consistently condescending, betrays his sense of being, like a satirist, above those he calls down to. And that tone — carelessly sarcastic, thoughtlessly ironic, indiscriminately sardonic — that is the very one you now find everywhere. Bush is us; Bush is me: his is the same sarcasm I employ when I tell my father, once again, that of course I didn’t read today’s op-ed.

      It makes me wonder what happens when the language of argument and the language of ridicule become the same, when the address of a potentate is voiced no more soberly than the goofings of some rube. Perhaps that leveling of language merely passes, the rhetorical registers recalibrated by nothing so much as an unfolding of the days. Or perhaps there’s another way of putting it, one voiced by President Bush himself. After Colbert, after Germany, just before Labor Day, there was yet another news conference, one that found the president asking the press corps — who so lately protested their mistreatment at satirical hands — how long they were to be stationed in a temporary briefing room across from their typical quarters. “The decision will be made by commanders on the ground,” cracked one. “There’s no timetable,” went another. “What do you think this is,” quipped the president, “the correspondents’ dinner or something?”

      That, it seems to me, is an excellent question.

      Wyatt Mason received this year’s National Magazine Award for Reviews and Criticism. He is a contributing editor of Harper’s Magazine.


    • Today's Papers

      Compromised?
      By Alexander Dryer
      Posted Friday, Sept. 22, 2006, at 5:08 AM ET

      Nearly everyone leads with the tentative deal between the White House and dissident Senate Republicans on the interrogation and trial of suspected terrorists. (Mahmoud Abbas' promise to recognize Israel tops the Wall Street Journal's online newsbox.) The compromise legislation, which clarifies acceptable questioning techniques and outlines military commission procedures, seems likely to pass. With a major GOP rift apparently closed, the papers play up the unity-and-goodwill theme—the WSJ's quote from Sen. John McCain is typical: "We're all winners because we've been able to come to an agreement through a process of negotiations and consensus." But the details—not to mention crowing from the White House—indicate that the administration is walking off with a major victory while allowing the Senate to save face. And by focusing solely on the provisions over which the two sides disagreed, the major papers overlook potentially troubling areas of GOP agreement.

      The proposed deal's political significance is obvious: It should allow Congress to head into the fall campaign with a divisive issue resolved, USA Today notes. Details were hammered out Thursday at a lengthy Capitol Hill meeting between administration officials and the Republican opposition's leaders (McCain, Lindsey Graham, and John Warner). The senators had resisted administration efforts to reinterpret the nation's Geneva Conventions obligations regarding the treatment of prisoners. They also were opposed to trials that permitted classified evidence terror detainees would not be allowed to confront.

      On the surface, the senators seem to have beaten back President Bush's efforts. The Los Angeles Times certainly plays it that way, calling the agreement a "major concession" on Bush's part and citing the approval of at least one major human rights group.

      But the New York Times explains that while the Bush administration agreed not to reinterpret the Geneva Conventions, an international treaty, the senators agreed that the War Crimes Act, a domestic law, should define what constitutes "grave breaches" of the conventions. As for less serious violations of the conventions ("those lying between cruelty and minor abuse," as the Post puts it), the senators agreed Bush should be given the authority to judge the conventions' "meaning and application." (He will have to publish his interpretation, but details remain sketchy.) In short, the deal seems to be redefinition once removed, and the Post indicates that may have been all the McCain side wanted from the beginning. The "biggest hurdle" in negotiations, the paper reports, "was convincing administration officials that lawmakers would never accept language that allowed Bush to appear to be reinterpreting the Geneva Conventions" [emphasis added]. Certainly presidential counselor Dan Bartlett views the "compromise" as one of perception only: "We proposed a more direct approach to bringing clarification. This one is more of the scenic route, but it gets us there," he says in the pages of the NYT.

      As for the other main point of contention—secret evidence—the senators made more headway; the Post reports defendants will be allowed to see it in "summary or redacted form." (Of course, the extent of the redaction is critical: "We are sentencing you to death because of evidence you ██████ on ████ with ██████" isn't very helpful.) But the NYT's editorial points out that the administration has begun trying to back out of even this modest commitment.

      Examined closely then, the great compromise seems to be a great cave-in. As the Post writes in its editorial, "In effect, the agreement means that U.S. violations of international human rights law can continue as long as Mr. Bush is president, with Congress's tacit assent."

      Unfortunately the major papers don't dig into what may prove to be a significant issue with the compromise legislation. As the Christian Science Monitor reports, even before negotiations began, both the administration and its Senate opponents had provisions in their respective bills that would strip detainees of their right to file an application for a writ of habeas corpus. Apparently the goal is turning the prison at Guantanamo Bay back into a legal black hole.

      In other front-page news, the NYT and the Post go high with the CDC's new recommendations that an HIV test be part of the routine battery of blood tests offered to all patients. Experts hope the move will lower the number of people who are unaware of their HIV status. It may also decrease the stigma associated with the disease.

      USAT, the Post, and the LAT all front Wal-Mart's decision to offer generic drugs for as little as $4 to insured and uninsured patients alike. Sales will begin in Tampa immediately and will expand to states beyond Florida by the end of 2007. The Post says nearly 300 drugs are part of the program, but USAT notices that the number "includes different dosage strengths of the same drugs"; the real list includes fewer than 150. The move may drive down drug costs by putting pressure on other retailers. (Wal-Mart did not say whether it negotiated deals with manufacturers and suppliers.) The LAT notes the news hit the company's drugstore competitors hard.

      Danger, Not So Able: The NYT stuffs an update on "Able Danger," the Defense Department program that some claimed had identified 9/11 hijackers, including Mohamed Atta, before the attacks. Those claims, the paper now reports, have been discredited by the Defense Department's inspector general. Of course the 9/11 commission already dismissed the claims—before the NYT ran a credulous, above-the-fold front pager on them in August 2005. Dearly departed TPer Eric Umansky ripped the story to shreds back then, arguing that papers "should give articles prominence commensurate with the level of confidence they have in the story's sources—obviously." Follow-ups setting the record straight probably deserve even more prominence.

      Alexander Dryer works for The New Yorker in Washington, D.C.

    • My House; What Lies Beneath, Patricia Kennedy Lawford dies at 82, Real Estate Obsession

      September 10, 2006

      My House; What Lies Beneath

      Let's say, instead of whatever you're actually doing, that you're standing on the little wooden deck of my house. It's off the kitchen, on the third floor, sort of -- it's hard to count the floors, really, because the house is built on a hill, quite steep, like all San Francisco real estate. It's pretty precarious if you think about it, and you're thinking about it, and so you say, ''What's this house built on?''

      I lean my arms on the railing of the deck. I own this place. I bought it with my own money. It's not like when I lived in apartments, and something would break and we'd have to call the landlord. Nowadays everything is mine. If something breaks, I'm the guy who has to, you know, make the phone calls until we find a guy to fix it. Actually, I don't usually make the phone calls myself. But still, the point is, my old landlords are not going to fix this place. The house is mine, and so I know some stuff about it.

      ''There was this woman, Irene Marsh,'' I say to you. ''She was married to Mr. John (Jack) Marsh, but he was actually more interested in a woman named Miss Alice Murray. Basically, it was the tale of a wife who lavished all of her love and affection upon a man who repudiated her for another woman of greater charm. It's a long story, but that's how Herbert Carr got shot. He was a carpenter.''

      You say something like, ''Did that guy build the house?''

      ''Oh, no,'' I say, ''but he ended up in this whole scandal, you see? It's a mystery, what this whole house is built on. It's an unknowable mystery.''

      By now you wish that you weren't on my deck, and that you were just reading about this. But even so, in a magazine about real estate? Shouldn't this guy know something about his house -- like what it's built on, for instance?

      My house was built in 1907. That's the only thing I know about my house, really, and I tell it to people all the time. ''It was built in 1907,'' I say, pointing at something in the house when we're walking around. I could be pointing at my CD player. It doesn't matter what I'm pointing at, because then I make a little joke I always make: ''It was a very popular year to build houses in San Francisco.''

      Everyone chuckles, because in 1906 there was the big earthquake in San Francisco that knocked a lot of stuff down. There's going to be another big earthquake, everyone keeps telling us. It's a public awareness campaign telling my wife and me that we should have a whole lot of water in our basement. I went out and bought a lot of big plastic things with water in them, and my wife later reorganized them.

      Perhaps I should really start it this way: I write fiction for a living, and my wife is an illustrator, and these are basically nice ways of saying that we just don't get anything about one single thing. I mean, I was way ahead of the curve on appreciating the work of Haruki Murakami, and my wife put up our hummingbird feeder, but basically we don't get anything at all. When something in the actual world goes wrong, my wife and I look at whatever it is, and then we sort of sneak looks at each other. We have no idea whatsoever what is going on. We are both hoping one of our old landlords will come and fix it.

      A few years ago, when my wife reorganized the water bottles in our basement, she stacked them all up in a corner, and over the next few weeks, every so often we would notice that the floor of the basement was a little damp. We thought maybe it was dampness in the air, or because of the rain -- we didn't get it, basically. It was a concern, though, because the floor of our basement was made of cardboard. Every time I explain to someone that the floor of our basement was made of cardboard, they say it couldn't be so. But I tell you it was cardboard -- wet cardboard. After a few weeks we looked in the corner and saw that all of the stacked kegs of water were empty. Stacking them had made them leak or something -- I don't really get it -- and now our floor was ruined.

      Our old landlords wouldn't return phone calls, so we got someone to call a guy who came over to our house. I'll say that his name was Geronimo, and I told him straight off, ''Geronimo, I know it's going to cost much more and take much longer than you say it will, but could you estimate how much that really would be?'' He told us five minutes and five dollars, and that if we called a painter in we could take care of that big, ugly rusty streak on the side of the house from where we put up the hummingbird feeder. We looked at a bunch of squares that a new basement floor could be made of and chose this really cool thing, sort of a rubber surface with a pattern on it that my wife really liked from a design perspective and I really liked because it reminded me of the floor of an underwater hideout.

      We all got back to work -- me making up stuff, my wife drawing whatever popped into her head and Geronimo pounding on things and then explaining very patiently that it was absolutely necessary to pound on things in order to take all the cardboard away and turn our basement into a cool-floored hideout. Geronimo and I didn't make much conversation, on account of my not knowing, ever, what he was talking about, and also because of the time he asked me what I was listening to in my office and I told him that it was an album by the Aluminum Group that was produced by Jim O'Rourke, who maybe Geronimo had heard of because O'Rourke was pretty big in the avant-garde jazz scene in Chicago, where Geronimo was from, and Geronimo reminded me that it was actually the other guy pounding on the floor who was from Chicago, not him. And then one day he came upstairs and asked me something.

      ''What do you know about the foundation of your house?'' he asked me.

      ''I told you,'' I said. ''I told you to pretend that I was just a person walking by the house, because that's how much I would know about anything at all in the house.''

      ''You must know something,'' Geronimo said. ''You couldn't just live in the house without knowing anything.''

      ''The house was built in 1907,'' I tried, pointing at my phone.

      ''I think you should see this,'' he said, so I followed him downstairs to the basement. He and the guy from Chicago had pulled up the cardboard and I could see what was underneath. Underneath was dirt -- a few pieces of wood, and dirt, and in the dirt were some old newspapers. It looked exactly like what I would have thought offhand was underneath every house in the history of houses, but then he handed me one of the newspapers and I saw at once why he wanted me to see it.

      ''Wow,'' I said.

      ''Yeah,'' Geronimo told me, but I was already getting my wife, who was seven months pregnant with our first child. The newspaper page I was holding -- I hope The Times is reprinting it here for you, because it's beautiful -- was from the year my house was built: 1907, a very popular year to build houses in San Francisco. It was the front page, focusing on the scandalous accidental shooting of Herbert Carr by the enraged Mrs. Irene Marsh, who was actually aiming for Miss Alice Murray.

      ''Wow,'' my wife said, and read part of the scandal out loud. '''The tale of a wife who lavished all of her love and affection upon a man who repudiated her for another woman of greater charm.'''

      '''Both principals in the afternoon drama have figured prominently in the papers on previous occasions,''' I said, '''notably when Mrs. Marsh attempted to horsewhip her husband and Miss Murray at the Orpheum a year ago.' I wonder if that's the same place we saw Tom Waits perform?''

      ''You don't get it,'' Geronimo said.

      He was giving me the look you are giving me now, on my own porch, because he was right. We didn't get it. The worst thing about an unknowable mystery, like the foundation of a house or the scandals of years gone by, is that it's not an unknowable mystery at all. It's just that you happen not to know what it is. I mean, here's the thing: apparently a house shouldn't be built on dirt. Dirt is not the thing that belongs under houses, and so they had to dig up all of the dirt and put it in one of those enormous Dumpsters that appear outside people's houses. Meanwhile, a bunch of metal things held up the house so it wouldn't fall down the hill while they were digging up all the dirt, and then they pounded things into other things and poured things out of a cement mixer -- it must have been cement, come to think of it -- and of course it cost a gazillion dollars and took forever. They weren't done by the time the baby came out of my wife -- and boy, talk about unknowable mysteries. The baby not only got all the dust and noise, but it was old enough to make its preferences known for Kraftwerk and plain yogurt and ''Good Night, Gorilla'' before Geronimo was done with us. The baby could walk, practically, before Geronimo walked out of my house for good. And all the while I still didn't get it. O.K., our house was built on dirt, but I always thought everything was built on dirt. I'm told that if this were actually the case, then everything would fall down, but don't you basically have to put a house on dirt? Isn't dirt under everything? No one has been able to answer this for me, so it's an unknowable mystery, like everything about my house, except for when it was built, and the newspapers have been able to answer that one in black and white: 1907, the year a woman named Irene Marsh tried to shoot her husband John (Jack) Marsh's mistress, Miss Alice Murray, but shot Herbert Carr instead, and not only is this not an unknowable mystery, but it's actually interesting.

      ''You know who else would be interested in this?'' my wife said, holding up the newspaper. ''Who's that Californian history guy, real nice guy, we met at that library thing?''

      ''Kenneth Starr,'' I said.

      ''No,'' my wife said, ''that's the Clinton prosecutor.''

      ''Your whole house is built on dirt,'' Geronimo said. ''You're really in trouble here.''

      ''Dirt and newspapers,'' I reminded him, and tried to think. ''Kevin,'' I said. ''Kevin, not Kenneth, Starr.''

      ''Look at how they illustrated it,'' my wife said. ''A drawing and a painting and a photograph. We should have this framed.''

      ''Thanks so much for showing us this,'' I gushed to Geronimo, who was looking at me and my wife. Probably he was about to try again and tell me why a house can't be built on dirt, and anyone who heard him -- a person walking by the house, for instance -- might have learned why that is so. But right now he was just looking at two people who bought a house with their own money and had just learned it was built on dirt with some newspapers in it, and who were looking at newspapers from 1907 in wonder and amazement. I like to think that Geronimo was looking at us in wonder and amazement, too, like we were a mystery hidden deep in the dirt of the earth -- something he just didn't get, something unknowable. nIllustration by Kristin Roskifte

      photographs by Lars Klove for the New York Times# Key September 2006A House Built on a Broken Home

      A scandal-filled issue of The San Francisco Chronicle from Jan. 30, 1907, that was

      found under the author's basement floor -- along with dirt, wood and

      other material unsuitable for anchoring a house to the hills of San Francisco.O.K., our house was built on dirt, but don't

      you have to put a house on dirt? Isn't

      dirt under everything? No one has been able

      to answer this for me. Daniel Handler writes novels under his own name and also as Lemony Snicket.# Key September 2006# Key September 2006

       

      Patricia Kennedy Lawford Dies at 82

      Bill Cunningham/The New York Times

      Patrica Kennedy Lawford in 1998.

      September 18, 2006

      Patricia Kennedy Lawford Dies at 82

      Correction Appended: For the Record

      Patricia Kennedy Lawford, who as a sister of President John F. Kennedy had a front row seat to history and forged new links between her brother's administration and Hollywood through her marriage to the actor Peter Lawford, died yesterday at her home in Manhattan. She was 82 and also had a home in Southampton, N.Y.

      The cause was complications of pneumonia, said Melissa Wagoner, a spokeswoman for Senator Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts, Mrs. Lawford's brother.

      Poised as a princess, athletic and lithe, Mrs. Lawford is widely remembered as the Roman Catholic schoolgirl who dismayed her domineering father, Joseph P. Kennedy, the former Ambassador to Britain, by marrying Mr. Lawford, a debonair British actor.

      Patricia Kennedy's 1954 marriage to Mr. Lawford was the stuff of newsreels; some 3,000 spectators gathered outside St. Thomas More Roman Catholic Church on the Upper East Side.

      The sixth of nine children born to Joseph P. Kennedy and Rose Elizabeth Fitzgerald, Mrs. Lawford, like her siblings, had a well-honed understanding of politics and of the power of appearances. As early as 1946, she campaigned for her brother John during his first run for Congress, organizing highly effective women's coffees in Boston and Cambridge neighborhoods, and when he ran for President in 1960 she often substituted at events for his pregnant wife, Jacqueline Kennedy.

      The Lawfords strengthened John F. Kennedy's ties to the show business world of Hollywood and Las Vegas through Mr. Lawford's association with "The Rat Pack" of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Joey Bishop and Shirley MacLaine.

      Through the years, Mrs. Lawford was close friends with Marilyn Monroe, Tennesee Williams, and Sinatra, for whom she partly named her daughter Victoria Frances.

      In 1966, after 11 years of marriage, Mrs. Lawford became the first Kennedy to file for a divorce. It was a highly publicized break, one that required Mrs. Lawford to establish residency in Idaho in order to circumvent New York's divorce laws of the time.

      Afterward, Mrs. Lawford and her four children moved to New York, where she took on a busy social schedule, befriended artists and writers and became known as a generous benefactor of the arts. She was a familiar presence at benefit dinners and her patronage would increase the cachet of any fund-raising charity event. Her name still regularly appeared in the society columns of Palm Beach, New York and the Hamptons, where she maintained a residence.

      Patricia Kennedy was born on May 6, 1924, in Brookline, Mass., the fourth daughter of Joseph P. and Rose Kennedy and the granddaughter of John F. Fitzgerald, the popular mayor of Boston who had earlier served in the House of Representatives. Hers was a family that expected women to be graceful and well-rounded while remaining in the background, quietly serving the ambitions of their men. Of the five Kennedy sisters, she was considered the most beautiful and sophisticated, with the aristocratic air of her mother. She was an accomplished athlete but unlike her ambitious siblings, she never caught the family's legendary fire for competition.

      In her book 1987 book, "The Fitzgeralds and the Kennedys," Doris Kearns Goodwin wrote that Rose Kennedy was bothered by Patricia's lack of ambition. "Although she had a good mind, a fine physique and a beautiful face which could easily have led her to excel in school, in sports or in appearance, Rose contended 'she would never make the effort to achieve distinction' in any of these areas."

      Much like her older sister, Kathleen, who made her mother furious by marrying outside her church, Patricia disappointed her parents by marrying Mr. Lawford, a nominal Episcopalian who agreed to raise their childen as Catholics.

      Mrs. Lawford was the only Kennedy to move away from the family's traditional East Coast settings of Hyannis Port, Palm Beach and New York. She and Mr. Lawford settled into a sprawling mansion in Malibu that was once owned by Louis B. Mayer. The house became a recreation center for other family members, and the President would spend time lounging at his sister's pool when he was on the West Coast.

      After the assassination of President Kennedy in 1963, she was often seen in the company of his widow and their two children. As recently as 1986, she joined Senator Kennedy on an official visit to Chile that was marred by egg-throwing protestors angered by Mr. Kennedy's criticism of President Augusto Pinochet.

      She devoted her energies to organizations that served the mentally disabled and those helping people with substance abuse problems. She had a close personal appreciation for both causes: her older sister Rosemary was born mildly retarded and was lobotomized at 23, and she, Mr. Lawford and her son Christopher had waged their own battles with drugs and alcohol.

      Her brother Robert, the former attorney general and later senator from New York, was closest to her in age, just 18 months younger. After his assassination in 1968, Mrs. Lawford assembled a privately printed book of reminiscences about him, as John had done before about the oldest brother, Joe, who died in World War II.

      Her book, "That Shining Hour," was published in 1969. In her introduction, she wrote "This is not a sad book. Bobby was not a sad person. His basic shyness to the outside world gave way to fun, humor and wit whenever he was with the family."

      In addition to her brother Edward and two of her sisters, Jean Kennedy Smith and Eunice Kennedy Shriver, Mrs. Lawford is survived by her son, Christopher, of California, and three daughters, Sydney, of Washington, Robin, of New York, and Victoria Frances, of Washington, and 10 grandchildren.

      Correction: Sept. 19, 2006

      An obituary in some copies yesterday about Patricia Kennedy Lawford, a sister of President John F. Kennedy, misstated the location of her death. It was at her home in Manhattan, not her home in Southampton, N.Y. The article also erroneously included a survivor; her sister Rosemary Kennedy died last year. The obituary also misstated the place of residence of Mrs. Lawford's son, Christopher. He lives in California, not New York. A full obituary appears today on page B8.


       

      A Passion for Property

      September 7, 2006    
      Lisa Ke
      September 10, 2006
      On the Homefront

      A Passion for Property

      We all know the meaning of home, the longing for a durable habitation — shelter from the storms of life — that is bred into our bones. Home, be it ever so humble or grand, has proverbially been a man's castle and a woman's refuge, offering up a haven in a heartless world, an anchor for the restive and the domesticated alike. No wonder that the adorable little alien E.T. wanted ever so badly to get back to it, even though his "home" happened to be around the corner in outer space. Or that Dorothy yearned with all her might to return to the family farmhouse in Kansas. As the French philosopher Gaston Bachelard observed in his book "The Poetics of Space," the "virtues of shelter are so simple, so deeply rooted in our unconscious," that houses can be said to stand in for the poetic imagination itself. They serve as the embodiments of our inner life, Bachelard wrote, containers for fancies: "the house shelters daydreaming, the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace."

      Or so at least used to be the case, before our collective relationship with the idea of home changed — gradually at first, as is the way of all such cultural shifts, and then ever more strikingly — into something other than it once was, something charged with an almost sexualized power, suffused with an insatiable quality of appetite. These days, it would appear that the image of home, our own solitary home, no longer suffices to hold our imaginations. Sometime during the past 10 years, beginning around the dot-com boom, we have — whether as studio dwellers or longtime renters, co-op board members or condo subletters, inhabitants of the suburbs or the cities — become, in the phrase of the Edwardian novelist John Galsworthy, men and women of property, both real and theoretical. We have, regardless of our occupations and other interests, been infected with Real Estate Lust, a condition whose symptoms include a compulsive scanning of real estate ads and an incessant discussion of who paid what for how much, as well as a fascination with the size and shape — down to the number of bedrooms, closets and bathroom windows — of apartments and houses that belong to people other than ourselves. We have wandered out when no one was looking to play in fields of ever-greater square footage, pursuing McMansion visions, getting caught up in the mindset not of proprietary homeowners but of acquisitive real estate agents and developers.

      You don't, I might add, have to be Ronald O. Perelman or some other avatar of "luxury fever" to spend fortunes in time and money on gutting an existing house and planning a new one. My dentist, a hard-working professional as well as a devoted wife and mother of two small children, whom I've had cause to visit with alarming frequency in the past few years, has entertained me with tales of demolishing and rebuilding her Brooklyn house — bought 10 years ago but still undergoing the final touches as of August — throughout this period. She speaks familiarly of her architect and her contractor, can expound at length on the differences between satin-nickel finish and stainless steel and is ready to explain at a moment's notice why she opted for a Thermidor rather than a Sub-Zero refrigerator. Beyond all this, she recently revealed to me her secret desire, if her finances would allow for it, to acquire another house that has come available nearby and go through the whole process again, this time with renters in mind. One day, while I am sitting in the chair waiting for a shot of Novocaine to take effect, I hear the following advertisement come over the soft jazz station that my dentist's radio is set to: "There's nothing I like better," observes a smooth feminine voice against the sound of yelps and splashes, suggestive of a pool filled with happy kids, "than relaxing in my hammock and getting a quick approval on a home-equity loan."

      For evidence that the buying and selling of homes has become the ultimate postmodern spectator sport — a form of yuppie pornography, a voyeuristic diversion from the quotidian — you need only take a walk along Main Street in Southampton one evening sometime between late May and the beginning of September. On the east side of the street is the Fudge Company, where couples with young children go for frozen yogurt and penny candy; on the west side is Sant Ambroeus, which hawks gelato. If you stroll south on Main Street you can't help spotting the crowd with ice cream cones milling in front of Engel & Völkers. On view in the window of this local real estate agency are photographs and prices of various properties — including, as of the first weekend in August, a villa in Phuket, Thailand, for 831,450 euros; an estate in nearby Watermill with a six-bedroom house for $7,999,000; and an "English" mansion in the village of Southampton (which means no water views) for $18,500,000 with nine bedrooms and nine full baths. Also up for sale are apartments in Palma de Mallorca (with sea views!), Budapest and Cyprus. There is a murmur among the crowd, a running commentary of surprise or indignation or awe about this or that offering, as if everyone were at least engaged in serious thought about the possibility of acquiring one or another residence. After a while the crowd moves on, having had its fill of the night's entertainment, and another crowd forms in its place.

      This contemporary obsession with real estate — less a private passion than a public rite of passage — begins disconcertingly young: my 16-year-old daughter is an avid fan of "MTV Cribs," a reality show that brings you into the domiciles of young music stars and extreme athletes. (The occupants serve as dazed tour guides of their own homes, rather like Jacqueline Kennedy walking the TV cameras through the newly remodeled White House, except for the fact that these showplaces are usually minimally or casually decorated at best, featuring glossy kitchens filled with either no food or junk food and carpeted living expanses outfitted with king-size beds, sectional sofas and humongous plasma screens everywhere.) Thanks to her television habit, my daughter was inducted into the social significance of ZIP codes ("90210") and the importance of location ("The OC," "Laguna Beach") in a way that didn't hit me until I was much older. And although she is the least snobbish of creatures, she unfailingly points out that her bedroom, fronting as it does on the back wall of another building, is dark even in the daytime. What it lacks, in other words, is a view, but then again so does every other room in my apartment.

      The facts that I myself grew up in a bedroom without a view — a bedroom that I shared with two sisters — and that my parents' abode was entirely viewless were not realities that occurred to me with any vividness until fairly recently. Then again, I came of age in a time before the real estate bug had bit. When I was growing up, people who owned buildings (or even a single building) seemed slightly questionable if not outright shifty. They were generally treated as being outside the boundaries of the upstanding professions, like the moist-palmed slumlord father (reputed to deal in dirty books as well as unfit buildings) of the girl in my high-school class who always had suspicious wads of cash on her, as if she had been handed someone's ruthlessly extracted rent money to spend on after-school snacks.

      Then, too, the ins and outs of the recent purchases and sales of homes by friends and strangers weren't yet considered to be a hot dinnertime topic, nor was the abstract subject of real estate itself invested with potent symbolism for anyone other than Monopoly addicts. Unlike the consumer population portrayed in Michael J. Silverstein and Neil Fiske's "Trading Up," a 2003 study of the lure of luxury goods, for whom a home reflects "attitudes about living, raising a family, social interaction, personal style and taste, and accomplishment," my parents' choice of residence (a Park Avenue duplex, which sounds more impressive than it was, especially after you factor in an extra room, known as the "study," for my father, which left two bedrooms for me and my five siblings, one for the boys and the other for the girls) primarily reflected their wish to be near one set of in-laws and an Orthodox synagogue. I'll never forget how disappointing my friend the writer Anatole Broyard (who, I realize in hindsight, suffered from a precursory case of Real Estate Lust) found my parents' apartment when he paid me a visit there one Saturday afternoon while I was recuperating from an illness. "Why, this isn't grand at all," he announced in his husky voice, having cast an assessing eye around the foyer and living room.

      Although my parents owned their apartment as well as a summer house an hour out of the city in unchic Atlantic Beach, they did not appear to take these as benchmarks of adulthood or signifiers of material security. For the longest time my father was a firm believer that rentals were sufficient for those of his six offspring who lived on their own, with or without spouses and children. His view on this — he would have warmed to the title of Tolstoy's fable "How Much Land Does a Man Need?" had he been familiar with it — changed only after the rental market exploded in the 80's, when contributing to the purchase of places for his children and grandchildren to lay their heads seemed like the financially expedient thing to do.

      How, you might be wondering, did "home sweet home" turn into "real estate sweet real estate"? When, that is, did we all turn into versions of Sinclair Lewis's Babbitt, trained assessors of other people's private spaces for all their commercial potential? Perhaps it's not so surprising, given how deeply the roots of our romance with property are embedded in our national character. "Space as resource is a cultural appraisal," Yi-Fu Tuan, a geographer, notes in his book "Space and Place." He expatiates on this idea a few sentences later: "Level of aspiration clearly affects one's sense of spatial adequacy. Aspiration is culturally conditioned." And he goes on to point out: "Traditional China, for instance, had many small landlords who were content to live off their rents and enjoy their leisure rather than work and invest their income in enlarging their holdings. In capitalist Western societies, aspiration and entrepreneurial spirit have been and are much stronger."

      In the end, of course, it is not all that strange that the once déclassé and uncompelling business of real estate has become the dominant form of psychic tourism (see how they bathe, eat, carpet their bedrooms, tile their kitchens and grout their tubs), one that has beat out the other standards against which people measure the content and quality of their own lives and the inner lives of others. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that the narratives of other people's lives — the improbable mix of desires and needs that give texture to the generic plot of "he was born, he lived and then he died" — are most accessible to us through their homes. So it turns out that X can't exist, despite his modest presentation, without a wine cellar; whereas Y, so imperious in other ways, has a bedroom that doubles as an office. It is as if we have come to understand spiritual depth or moral value only when it is written up as an architectural blueprint, expressed in square feet, ceiling heights and the level of fixtures.

      George Sand once said that people could be classified according to whether they aspired to live in a cottage or in a palace. But that was another time, more uncertain in some ways and clearer in others, when the class system was still rigidly intact and people of all classes saw their earthly domains as no more than a temporary address on the way to a final destination. These days, without a strong religious conviction to gird our increasingly buffeted sense of self in an ever more commodified society, our home — whether cottage or palace or something in between — has come to count for too much and may be mistaken for the only structural testament to our having passed this way at all. In this regard, the fixation with property and the unbounded lebensraum ("bigger is better") impulse that currently informs so much of our attitude toward home might be better understood as a grandiose defense against the apprehension of our own insignificance than as a genuine conviction of our inestimable value. We are no more landlords of our fate than we ever were, much though we may have increased our sense of being overseers of our own — and everyone else's — earthly estate. These days, when I think of Dorothy or E.T. aching to go home, I envision them opening their front doors just long enough to park their suitcases before they rush to check their local real estate pages — poring over listings of homes that belong to other people and might someday belong to them, certifying that they have made a dent on this imperviously spinning planet we inhabit with borrowed sovereignty and the poignant but necessary illusion of permanence.

      Daphne Merkin is a contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine.

    September 21, 2006

    • Today Show

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      READY, SET, GO AT 'TODAY'


      September 18, 2006 -- DON'T expect to see the brand-new "Today" show set remain the way it is for too much longer. Our network insider says the on-air talent at NBC's long-running morning gabfest is already on the warpath over the $3.5 million makeover that heralded the arrival of Katie Couric's replacement, Meredith Vieira, last week. "They're fuming that it's too big. It just swallows them up, and it looks something like a hospital wing," our insider continues. "Both Meredith and Matt Lauer have complained about it, so there are going to be changes. It's going to evolve again over the next couple of months, and it's going to cost them millions more to do it, even though they worked on the new set since April." We also hear that construction crews have already been notified about some of the proposed modifications. An NBC spokeswoman admitted there may be some "small tweaks" in store for the set but insisted, "We're thrilled with the feedback. If you ask Matt, Meredith, Al [Roker] or Ann [Curry], they'd all agree they love it."

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