Month: March 2005

  • Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal

    HAND IN HAND: Keep the luck FLOWING


    Casinos will sometimes go to great lengths to keep superstitions at bay

    By SONYA PADGETT
    REVIEW-JOURNAL







    Elephants with trunks raised signify good luck in Asian cultures, says Mandalay Bay spokesman Gordon Absher. Any depiction of elephants in the resort, such as this series of fountains, features them with trunks up.
    Photo by Gary Thompson.



    MGM Grand visitors are greeted by this upright lion statue now, but when the resort first opened, guests had to walk through the open mouth of a lion.
    Photo by Craig L. Moran.



    Because the number four is bad luck in Asian cultures, many Strip resorts omit it when numbering hotel floors and rooms.
    Photo by Gary Thompson.



    According to Feng Shui, flowing water is believed to bring wealth with it, which is why designers use it in Strip resorts, say resort representatives. This fountain in Mandalay Bay is one example.
    Photo by Craig L. Moran.



    When the MGM Grand opened in 1993, visitors entered the casino by walking through the mouth of a giant lion.


    Now, after a multimillion dollar face-lift, guests use a more traditional bank of doors fronted by a less formidable upright lion statue.


    What happened to compel the change? A streak of bad luck. Or rather, the thought of it.


    Asian visitors considered it bad luck, or at the least ominous, to walk through the mouth of a lion, or so the story goes.


    That’s somewhat true, said Alan Feldman, spokesman for the resort. The company remodeled the entrance in 1998 for aesthetic reasons and in part to address the folklore, he explained.


    While that’s an extreme and expensive example of what resorts will do for its more superstitious players, it is by no means the only instance, local experts say. In fact, several Strip resorts go to great lengths to honor players’ superstitions, from decorating with citrus trees or special colors, even to the point of omitting entire floors from their hotels.


    “Superstition and gambling seem to go hand in hand for some people and it seems to be magnified in Asian cultures,” says Anthony Curtis, publisher of the Las Vegas Advisor newsletter.


    The Rio, Palms, Mandalay Bay and The Hotel are among the Strip resorts that don’t have fourth floors or floors numbered in the 40s, primarily to appeal to Asian players, experts say. That’s because the number four pronounced in some Chinese dialects sounds like the word for death.


    So while the Palms advertises its ghostbar as being located on the 52nd floor, it’s actually on the 42nd. The Rio’s Voodoo Lounge is said to be on the 51st floor, but it’s actually on the 41st.


    “When you’re talking about The Venetians, The Mirages, the Wynns, the Asian market is significant. They have to make sure they’re paying attention to that customer,” Curtis says. “It’s a double bonus for the casinos, they get to advertise all their amenities on the 50-something floor … because it makes them sound bigger than they are.”


    It’s not an absolute must for a Strip hotel to make any concessions, as international visitors are aware of cultural differences in the United States, Feldman notes. But those that do may gain an invaluable edge with some of the bigger players. And that can translate into lots of wagering, and potential winnings, for the house.


    “The high-end players are solicited by all the casinos. It’s not unusual (for them) to have an allegiance to a particular casino or host, but that allegiance sometimes bends if you’re not having good luck. Some gamblers might attribute it to small aesthetics you and I wouldn’t notice,” says Gordon Absher, spokesman for Mandalay Bay.


    That could be as subtle as the direction that water flows in a fountain in the high stakes room, or whether a picture or statue of an elephant is depicted with its trunk raised or lowered.


    Elephant fountains near Mandalay Bay’s Beach point their trunks up, signifying good luck, Absher says. The American equivalent is the horseshoe, which must point up, else the luck runs out.


    “Two or three years ago, we did a total renovation of the high limit area. It’s very light, airy, a very nontraditional casino atmosphere,” Absher says. “That has a lot to do with Feng Shui. You will pass flowing waters (at the entrance). That is very important because that means money flowing into the high limit area.”


    They also supplement the decor with small tangerine trees during the Chinese new year, as they are considered symbols of good luck in the Chinese culture.


    The MGM Grand, Mirage and Bellagio make efforts to incorporate some elements of Feng Shui to appeal to Asian guests but overall, the principles are just part of design, Feldman says.


    “At its core, Feng Shui is a way of formalizing and articulating good design,” Feldman says. “One of the driving forces (of design) has been how do you feel when you’re there? You’re trying to create environments that are welcoming. You’re trying to create areas with great excitement and those that are also relaxing.”


    But, as Feldman notes, they “haven’t arrived at this point without making a few mistakes.” For instance, when The Mirage opened in 1989, its high limit gaming room was designed to look like an elegant library. Books were used to lend an authentic feel. That turned out to be a mistake, as the word “book” in some Asian languages is related to death.


    “Those books came out very quickly,” Feldman says.







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  • George F. Kennan wrote the book on the Soviet Union


    WORD FOR WORD | COLD WARRIOR


    The Man Who Took the Measure of the Communist Threat


    By PETER EDIDIN





    GEORGE F. KENNAN, who died Thursday at 101, was “the nearest thing to a legend that this country’s diplomatic service has ever produced,” the historian Ronald Steel has said. He was the man who proposed “containment,” the cornerstone of the cold war, as a way to oppose the Soviet Union.


    The idea of containment was worked out by Mr. Kennan in 1946, when he was the chief of mission in the United States Embassy in Moscow. The State Department had asked for help in understanding the Soviet state, to which he responded with an 8,000-word cable, known as the “Long Telegram,” which offered a detailed psychological, historical and political interpretation of the Soviet Union.


    The telegram is remarkable for Mr. Kennan’s clear-eyed, prophetic view of the Soviet state, and for his confidence in American society and its ability to counter the challenge of Communism. In 1946, when most of the world was bewildered and frightened by the rise of the Soviet Union, he felt certain a dictatorship could be defeated by a free society, so long as it kept faith with its own traditions and institutions.


    Excerpts follow from the original telegram sent to the State Department, replete with missing and superfluous words, as well as words added in brackets by a reader at the State Department trying to make better sense of the text.





    861.00/2 – 2246: Telegram


    The Chargé in the Soviet Union (Kennan) to the Secretary of State


    SECRET


    Moscow, Feb. 22, 1946 – 9 p.m. [Received


    Feb. 22 - 3:52 p.m.]


    Answer to Dept.’s 284, Feb. 3, involves questions so intricate, so delicate, so strange to our form of thought, and so important to analysis of our international environment that I cannot compress answers into single brief message without yielding to what I feel would be dangerous degree of over-simplification.


    I apologize in advance for this burdening of telegraphic channel; but questions involved are of such urgent importance, particularly in view of recent events, that our answers to them, if they deserve attention at all, seem to me to deserve it at once.





    The world, as seen by the Soviet leaders:


    U.S.S.R. still lives in antagonistic “capitalist encirclement” with which in the long run there can be no permanent peaceful coexistence. As stated by Stalin in 1927 to a delegation of American workers:


    “In course of further development of international revolution there will emerge two centers of world significance: a socialist center, drawing to itself the countries which tend toward socialism, and a capitalist center, drawing to itself the countries that incline toward capitalism. Battle between these two centers for command of world economy will decide fate of capitalism and of communism in entire world.”


    Why, the Soviet leadership is irrational:


    At bottom of Kremlin’s neurotic view of world affairs is traditional and instinctive Russian sense of insecurity. Originally, this was insecurity of a peaceful agricultural people trying to live on vast exposed plain in neighborhood of fierce nomadic peoples. To this was added, as Russia came into contact with economically advanced West, fear of more competent, more powerful, more highly organized societies in that area. But this latter type of insecurity was one which afflicted rather Russian rulers than Russian people; for Russian rulers have invariably sensed that their rule was… unable to stand comparison or contact with political systems of Western countries.


    It was no coincidence that Marxism… caught hold and blazed for first time in Russia. Only in this land which had never known a friendly neighbor or indeed any tolerant equilibrium of separate powers, either internal or international, could a doctrine thrive which viewed economic conflicts of society as insoluble by peaceful means.





    How Soviet policymakers deal with the world, officially:


    Wherever it is considered timely and promising, efforts will be made to advance official limits of Soviet power. For the moment, these efforts are restricted to certain neighboring points conceived of here as being of immediate strategic necessity, such as northern Iran, Turkey, possibly Bornholm. However, other points may at any time come into question, if and as concealed Soviet political power is extended to new areas. Thus a “friendly” Persian government might be asked to grant Russia a port on Persian Gulf. Should Spain fall under Communist control, question of Soviet base at Gibraltar Strait might be activated.


    With respect to cultural collaboration, lip service will likewise be rendered to desirability of deepening cultural contacts between peoples…. Actual manifestations of Soviet policy in this respect will be restricted to arid channels of closely shepherded official visits and functions, with superabundance of vodka and speeches and dearth of permanent effects.


    And unofficially:


    On unofficial plane particularly violent efforts will be made to weaken power and influence of Western Powers of [on] colonial backward, or dependent peoples. On this level, no holds will be barred. Mistakes and weaknesses of western colonial administration will be mercilessly exposed and exploited. Liberal opinion in Western countries will be mobilized to weaken colonial policies.


    Where individual governments stand in path of Soviet purposes pressure will be brought for their removal from office. This can happen where governments directly oppose Soviet foreign policy aims (Turkey, Iran), where they seal their territories off against Communist penetration (Switzerland, Portugal), or where theycompete too strongly, like Labor government in England, for moral domination among elements which it is important for Communists to dominate.


    What is to be done?


    In summary, we have here a political force committed fanatically to the belief that with U.S. there can be no permanent modus vivendi that it is desirable and necessary that the internal harmony of our society be disrupted, our traditional way of life be destroyed, the international authority of our state be broken, if Soviet power is to be secure.


    Problem of how to cope with this force in [is] undoubtedly greatest task our diplomacy has ever faced and probably greatest it will ever have to face. But I would like to record my conviction that problem is within our power to solve – and that without recourse to any general military conflict.


    We must see that our public is educated to realities of Russian situation. I cannot over-emphasize importance of this. Press cannot do this alone. It must be done mainly by government, which is necessarily more experienced and better informed on practical problems involved. In this we need not be deterred by [ugliness?] of picture. I am convinced that there would be far less hysterical anti-Sovietism in our country today if realities of this situation were better understood by our people. There is nothing as dangerous or as terrifying as the unknown.


    We must formulate and put forward for other nations a much more positive and constructive picture of sort of world we would like to see than we have put forward in past. It is not enough to urge people to develop political processes similar to our own. Many foreign peoples, in Europe at least, are tired and frightened by experiences of past, and are less interested in abstract freedom than in security. They are seeking guidance rather than responsibilities. We should be better able than Russians to give them this. And unless we do, Russians certainly will.





    The thing to be feared.


    Finally we must have courage and self-confidence to cling to our own methods and conceptions of human society. [T]he greatest danger that can befall us in coping with this problem of Soviet communism, is that we shall allow ourselves to become like those with whom we are coping.


    Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company | Home | Privacy Policy | Search | Corrections | RSS | Help | Back to Top



  • March 20, 2005

    The Difference Between Steroids and Ritalin Is . . .

    By KATE ZERNIKE





    AT the Congressional hearings last week investigating steroids and baseball, players were scolded not just for taking substances that are unsafe, but for doing something immoral. Those who use performance enhancing substances were called cheaters, cowards, bad examples for the nation’s children.


    But if baseball players are cheating, is everyone else, too?


    After all, Americans are relying more and more on a growing array of performance enhancing drugs. Lawyers take the anti-sleep drug Provigil to finish that all-night brief, in hopes of concentrating better. Classical musicians take beta blockers, which banish jitters, before a big recital.Is the student who swallows a Ritalin before taking the SAT unethical if the pill gives her an unfair advantage over other students? If a golfer pops a beta blocker before a tournament, is he eliminating a crucial part of competition – battling nerves and a chance of choking?


    Beyond baseball and steroids, where do you draw the line on the use of performance-enhancing drugs? President Bush said in his 2004 State of the Union speech that steroid use in baseball “sends the wrong message: that there are shortcuts to accomplishment, and that performance is more important than character.”


    That is easy to say about steroids. After all, the mystique of the major leagues requires that home run records be set without the help of artificial enhancements. And major league players have some responsibility not to encourage teenagers to use a harmful substance.


    When it comes to other drugs, and other kinds of endeavors, the lines aren’t so clear. Bioethicists, who don’t even all agree about whether taking steroids is wrong, are even less clear about everything else.


    Some say the use of performance-enhanced drugs simply reflects progress – better living through chemistry – and to be human is to strive to be better.


    “We’ve gotten very used to already assisting ourselves in other ways,” said Arthur Caplan, director of the Center for Bioethics at the University of Pennsylvania. “No one’s going to say, ‘Don’t drink coffee before the SAT.’ No one’s going to say, ‘Don’t smoke cigarettes before the SAT.’ And most of the drugs we’re talking about are far less harmful than nicotine.”


    But others lament that a performance-enhanced society is giving in to a culture that prizes the achievement over the journey. Many Americans already get that message from a young age, said Denise Clark Pope, author of “Doing School: How We Are Creating a Generation of Stressed Out, Materialistic and Miseducated Students.”


    When surveys ask students which is more important, to be honorable and get a low grade or to cheat and get a high grade, she said, more students choose the A. “The parents will say ‘no, no, no,’ but the message they’re sending says the opposite.”


    The use of performance enhancing drugs reflects a society where stress and striving have become the national pastime. Ms. Pope calls it the “credentialism society,” exemplified in her book through a high school student who describes life as a quest to get the best grades, so you can get into the best college, so you can get into the best graduate school, so you can get the highest-paying job, which brings you happiness.


    So where people once took illegal drugs like cocaine to escape or stimulate creativity, they now take legal drugs to focus better and achieve more.


    The danger in that, said Carl Elliott, the author of “Better than Well: American Medicine Meets the American Dream,” is that not performing well will be seen as a medical condition – one that needs to be treated.


    “The lines between treating an illness and enhancing a performance are so blurry,” said Dr. Elliott, an associate professor at the center for bioethics at the University of Minnesota. “Most people don’t conceptualize it as performance enhancement; most people conceptualize it as a treatment for an illness.”


    But others think there’s no problem. Norman Fost, the director of the medical ethics program at the University of Wisconsin who has long said that the danger of steroids are overstated, similarly sees nothing wrong with taking drugs like Ritalin or Provigil solely to enhance performance.


    “We all would like to do better at what we’re doing, whether athletic or intellectual or musical,” he said. “There’s nothing inherently immoral about performance enhancement. It’s what everyone does, or would try to do, for their children. We shouldn’t be obsessed with the fact that it’s a drug, as if it’s a drug like cocaine or heroin.”


    Dr. Caplan mocks the handwringing over self-enhancement drugs. To him, it is all technology: “The lawyer who’s taking a pill to stay up is also carrying a computer or P.D.A. to help his brain remember things. Are we going to throw away our calculators?”


    Certainly, there is no guarantee that performance enhancement delivers happiness.


    As Ms. Pope notes, at the same time stimulants like Ritalin are becoming more popular among high school students, college campuses are reporting a new drug of choice. It used to be marijuana. Now it’s Prozac.



    Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company | Home | Privacy Policy | Search | Corrections | RSS | Help | Back to Top


  • Pop star Michael Jackson arrives at the Santa Barbara County Courthouse in Santa Maria, California March 21, 2005. Jackson on Monday hobbled into court late again, this time accompanied by a doctor, delaying his child molestation trial for almost an hour as his lawyers consulted with the judge on the condition of their world-famous client. REUTERS/Kimberly White/Pool








    Michael Jackson Arrives Late to Court








    Mon Mar 21, 1:37 PM ET


    By TIM MOLLOY, Associated Press Writer


    SANTA MARIA, Calif. – An ill-looking and sometimes trembling Michael Jackson (news) arrived late to his child molestation trial again Monday, walking hesitantly into court along with a doctor in surgical scrubs, but after a 45-minute delay the judge ordered testimony to resume with no explanation to the jury.







     


     


    Superior Court Judge Rodney S. Melville took no apparent action against the singer, who he had threatened with arrest and revocation of bail when he failed to show up on time on March 10 after an early morning trip to a hospital for treatment of what his lawyers said was a back injury.


    On Monday, Jackson, 46, took tiny, hesitant steps entering the courtroom and appeared to be in great pain.


    The doctor, Bert Weiner of Cottage Hospital in Santa Ynez, went into the judge’s chambers for a private conference and remained in the front row of the courtroom when testimony resumed.


    During the chambers conference, Jackson‘s brother Jackie and a security guard escorted the singer to a restroom. When he returned to the courtroom he was seen crying at the counsel table with a tissue over his face. He appeared to have trouble sitting and standing.


    A call seeking comment from Jackson spokeswoman Raymone K. Bain was not immediately returned.


    The court session resumed with testimony by a sheriff’s detective, Sgt. Conn Abel, who had been on the stand when court recessed Thursday.


    In the March 10 incident, Jackson was more than an hour late and arrived wearing slippers and a jacket over pajama bottoms. Aides had sped him from Cottage Hospital to try to beat a one-hour deadline set by the judge, but missed the deadline by a few minutes.


    On that occasion, the judge told the jury: “Mr. Jackson had a medical problem and it was necessary for me to order his appearance.” He told the panel not to draw any negative inferences from the fact that Jackson had not appeared on time.


    On Monday, however, the judge told jurors nothing about Jackson‘s condition. The singer was fully dressed, wearing a black suit, brocade vest and a blue armband, one of his signature wardrobe items, but his hair was askew.


    On Thursday, the most recent day of testimony in the case, a Jackson attorney said the singer’s back was still bothering him and that he planned to rest and relax during the weekend. Jackson did not have to attend a motions hearing that was held Friday.


    Jackson is charged with molesting a 13-year-old boy in February-March 2003, giving the boy alcohol and conspiring to hold his family captive to get them to make a video rebutting a TV documentary in which Jackson appeared with the boy and said he allowed children to sleep in his bed, though he claimed it was non-sexual.


    Prosecutors have said they may wrap up the stage of their case focusing on a boy’s molestation claims as early as this week, then focus on the conspiracy allegations. The judge has yet to rule on whether the prosecution may introduce evidence of past allegations of molestation against Jackson.


    ___


    Associated Press Special Correspondent Linda Deutsch contributed to this report.




  • Pop star Michael Jackson is helped by his brother Jackie (R) as he arrives at the Santa Barbara County Courthouse in Santa Maria, California March 21, 2005. Jackson on Monday hobbled into court late again, this time accompanied by a doctor, delaying his child molestation trial for almost an hour as his lawyers consulted with the judge on the condition of their world-famous client. REUTERS/Kimberly White/Pool







  • Las Vegas Sands Paves Cotai Strip








    Mon Mar 21,12:36 PM ET


    By Jeff Hwang


    Last year, Sheldon Adelson’s Las Vegas Sands became the first foreign-based casino operator in the red-hot gaming market of Macau — the former Portuguese colony located just 40 miles west of Hong Kong — when it opened the $240 million Sands Macau. Last Friday, the company pushed forward Adelson’s vision for a Las Vegas-style strip in Macau in a big way.


    In a press conference in Macau, Las Vegas Sands — accompanied by a dream team of international hotel operators — announced that the first phase of the “Cotai Strip” would open in 2007, featuring at least seven resort hotel casinos and more than 10,000 guest rooms. Anchoring the Strip will be the company’s $1.8 billion Venetian Macau, a supersized replica of the high-end Venetian property on the Las Vegas Strip.


    Amazingly, all of the new hotels on the Cotai Strip — situated on a 1.8-square-mile stretch of reclaimed land adjoining two of Macau‘s islands — will be built and ready in less than three years. The key to the expedience is LVS’s partners, including hotel operators Four Seasons , Marriott , Hilton , InterContinental , Starwood , Dorsett, and Regal, as well as several other investors. The hotel groups and investors will finance the hotels; Las Vegas Sands will lease and operate the casinos and the showrooms in each of the hotels.


    The Venetian Macau itself will feature a monstrous 546,000-square-foot casino with 5,000 slot machines and 585 table games. The property will house 3,000 suites, in addition to 1 million square feet of convention space, a 2,000-seat showroom, 850,000 square feet of retail space, and a 15,000-seat arena.


    Macau — handed back to China in 1999 — is the hottest market in the industry. Revenues climbed about 50% to more than $5 billion in 2004. Meanwhile, visitors to Macau climbed 40% to 16.7 million last year, more than half of which came from mainland China. According to LVS rival Wynn Resorts — which plans to open Wynn Macau by September 2006 — more than 80% of visitors in 1991 came from Hong Kong. And with 100 million people within a three-hour drive, 1 billion people within a five-hour flight of Macau, and a rapidly growing Chinese middle class, the foreign investment cannot come fast enough.


    Whereas the average visitor to Las Vegas stays about three days, the average visit to Macau lasts about a day — yet the Macau visitor manages to lose roughly twice as much in one-third of the time. Las Vegas Sands is hoping that influx of new high-end hotels will encourage gamblers to stay longer and lose more.


    LVS shares have been a hot commodity since the company’s IPO at $29 per share in December. The instant those shares hit the open market, Las Vegas Sands became the most highly valued casino operator and carries a $17 billion market cap at around $49 per share. But most of that value is in promise: In addition to its investments in Macau, LVS is planning to open a second property on the Las Vegas Strip in 2007 and is vying for a piece of the action in Singapore and the United Kingdom, as well as a license for one of the new slot operations in Pennsylvania.


    Las Vegas Sands seems to possess relatively favorable prospects for the foreseeable future, and accordingly, the inherent question becomes the price at which it is attractive.


    For related coverage, check out:



    Fool contributor Jeff Hwang owns none of the companies mentioned above.


    The Motley Fool is the #1







  • Posted on Mon, Mar. 21, 2005



    No surprise, but Vegas is the big winner at tournament time



    The Kansas City Star


    Bill Clair slogs out of the bathroom in Room 346 of the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. Villanova and New Mexico are playing in the first round of the NCAA Tournament on the Philips plasma screen, and he’s not altogether interested. Clair, shirtless for the moment, lets out a long yawn. He doesn’t look the part of a man who minutes ago cashed a $2,000 gambling ticket.


    “Little too much champagne last night,” Clair says. “Little too much everything.”


    That’s the ethos here in the land of grandiose hotels, clubs, bars and, above all, dollars: There’s no such thing as too much. The NCAA Tournament attracts to Las Vegas patrons from around the country who want to sidle up to a chair in a sports book and bet, bet, bet. They’re chasing something. The money, the rush, the bragging rights_whatever their vice.


    It’s obsessive, and only getting bigger. Nevada took $91 million in wagers from the Super Bowl in January. Estimates for the NCAA Tournament hover around $80 million of the more than $2 billion wagered in everything from office pools to offshore books.


    “This is by far the busiest four days of the year,” says Bob Scucci, the Stardust’s sports book director.


    It’s because of people like Clair. This is his third year coming to Las Vegas for the tournament. He meets with friends and cousins, and on the first two nights of the tournament, they take turns staking out seats in the sports book. Remember, lines form at 2 a.m.


    He’s gone to 15 World Series, eight Masters and eight Stanley Cups, and he says nothing matches the first four days of the NCAA Tournament in Las Vegas. All of the vices afflict Clair. He let a friend, John Dinneen, convince him to place a bet he deemed The Gator Hedge. Clair, a graduate of the University of Florida, wagered 10 times his normal $200 bet on the team playing Florida, Ohio University.


    “Only three things can happen,” Clair explains. “If the Gators win, great, they won. If the Gators get smoked, you win thousands of dollars. The other happens once in a blue moon: The Gators win and you still win your bet. Best of everything.”


    Clair wakes up at 8 a.m. to catch the Florida game. His brain still awash in champagne, he falls asleep as the Gators take a 17-point lead. Ohio claws back, and by the time the Bobcats tie the score at 60-60, Clair awakens_and is nervous. His heart beats. With another basket, it could break.


    Florida spares him such fate with a 67-62 victory. Clair hits the double whammy. He cashes his ticket and eyes his booty. It’s short-lived. He immediately hands the money to his cousin, Michael Blakey, whom he owes $2,000.


    Walking back toward the sports book, Clair doesn’t feel a pang of guilt betting against his alma mater. He finds himself caught up in the same morass as the thousands of others who pack sports books this weekend, the line of too much that’s seemingly nonexistent.


    “Morally, it’s horrible,” Clair says. “But what the hell. You’re in Vegas.”


    As banks and schools and offices ran as usual Thursday morning, grown men in Las Vegas started drinking beer and watching basketball at 9:40 a.m.


    At the Stardust, the granddaddy of sports books where the betting lines are set, every seat is filled. If nature calls, the only way to save a seat is by writing TAKEN on a piece of paper. Sometimes, people don’t care.


    In that respect, sports books are testosterone Miracle-Gro. Alpha males strut. Emotion trampolines. Strangers become brothers when a kid whose name they don’t know and never will bother to find out hits a shot that covers the spread.


    “The betting is so constant,” Scucci says. “There’s interest in every game, every shot, every . . . ”


    Scucci cranes his neck and eyeballs the goofballs letting out huzzahs. Someone hit a shot for 16th-seeded Montana to tie its game against top-seeded Washington, one the Huskies would win 88-77 but not cover the 20-point spread.


    “You’re looking up to see who’s making a meaningless basket,” Scucci says. “Well, they’re not meaningless.”


    There’s anguish, agony. And not just on TV. Forlorn faces and shaking heads speckle the crowd at the Stardust. Sports books reek of smoke and desperation. Numbers are everywhere. On walls, on lips, on minds. These are mortgage payments, retirement funds, groceries, educations, heating bills. Bad bounces bounce checks. Everyone in a sports book needs. A shot, a rebound, a prayer. To want isn’t enough.


    “The luckiest person in here,” one man says, “is the one who doesn’t bet.”


    Betting, of course, built this place, bought the 79 TVs, funds Scucci. Betting, too, attracts the majority of people here. It feeds the beast.


    Television does its share as well. CBS paid the NCAA $6 billion for 11 years of tournament rights. Four games beam down simultaneously on the big screens at the Stardust. Then, the cut-ins start. CBS flashes to a different game. A lower seed is about to pull an upset. Announcers raise their voices an octave. Bettors, more likely to pick the favorite, squirm.


    Those games end. On to the next. The day always leaps forward. Until night falls, there’s another game, another chance. At Caesars Palace, Craig Watkins needs both.


    After winning his first bet of the day, the Lee’s Summit resident lost his next nine. He is cursing Texas coach Rick Barnes and bemoaning his strategy and praying his 12-team parlay that pays $40,000 comes through.


    “Dude, I’m telling you, this is the best place I’ve ever seen,” says Watkins, 40. “Look at people sitting on the floor. I mean, this is the best, right?”


    Watkins watches two teams from his parlay lose, meaning it will pay 5-to-1 if his remaining 10 teams win.


    “Well,” Watkins says, “kind of the best.”


    He stuffs his ticket back in his pocket. It’s good for now, at least for a moment. Losers dispose of theirs, some with a single tear and others by ripping and shredding and sprinkling the remains like pixie dust that lost its magic.


    OK then, enough of this. Over the first two days of the tournament, thousands of bettors have laid millions of dollars and bathed in the excitement. It’s my turn. On Friday night, my school, fourth-seeded Syracuse, played 13th-seeded Vermont. My knowledge of the Orange has atrophied badly since I graduated in 2002, so this bet – $50 on Syracuse giving up nine points – is made strictly on school pride.


    That fades quickly. Syracuse plays a miserable first half and somehow leads 23-19 at halftime. They can’t keep playing this badly, right?


    Syracuse commits its 17th turnover 6 minutes into the second half. Hakim Warrick is taking a three-pointer. Perhaps they can keep playing this badly.


    The Orange starts pressing. Good move. Terrence Roberts steals the ball and dunks it. He hangs on the rim too long for the ref’s liking and gets a technical foul.


    Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim smiles. I don’t.


    Commercial break. Deep breaths. That David Spade commercial is on. For some reason, he’s more annoying than usual.


    Back to the game, and Vermont keeps pushing. No way Syracuse covers. Best-case scenario: Syracuse wins, I lose. Faith is dwindling. So is the clock.


    “Boy,” says Alan Cribb, a 26-year-old from Las Vegas, “doesn’t gambling make sports a hell of a lot more fun?”


    No.


    With 3.7 seconds remaining, Vermont turns the ball over in a tied game. Should Syracuse win now and advance or go to overtime and possibly win and cover? Greed wins out when Gerry McNamara misses a three-pointer at the buzzer.


    Likewise, karma wins in overtime. T.J. Sorrentine drills a 25-foot three-pointer in overtime that sent Catamounts coach Tom Brennan leaping into the air. So do expletives at the Orleans.


    When Syracuse turns the ball over with .4 seconds remaining and seals the 60-57 victory for Vermont, my phone rings.


    “Just to let you know,” says the boss, “that’s not company money.”


    Fine, as long as I get to keep the ticket. I don’t want to crumble it up or tear it or burn it. It’s a lesson that, perhaps, there is such a thing as too much.


    Outside of the Orleans, it’s raining. How appropriate. Just in time for the late games.


    They’ve worn the shirts eight times. They’re still white enough for an angel. On the back collars are the letters K and U, and on the left breast read the words Las Vegas March Madness.


    Raul Alcantar and his family make the trip every year from Topeka here for the NCAA Tournament at Stardust. They use the oxford shirts only once a year, at tourney time. They stand in line, find seats and spend the entire day in the sports book, if necessary, waiting for Kansas to play. Alcantar’s wife, Barbara, is rife with nervous energy. His brother-in-law, Fred Cunningham II, sits silently next to his son, Fred III.


    Because in the last pairing of first-round games, the Jayhawks are losing to 14th-seeded Bucknell. This can’t be happening. This wouldn’t happen.


    This could happen. This did happen. Bucknell beat KU.


    It’s too much for the Alcantar family to take.


    “I’ve had so many freakin’ people calling me,” Barbara says. “I’m not picking this up anymore.”


    She stuffs her cell phone into her pocket and huffs off. Raul, meanwhile, watches the remaining three games. He seems shocked in a city where shock value is lost.


    “We didn’t play any good defense,” he says. “We didn’t put pressure on. We had the shot we wanted and (Wayne) Simien missed.


    “And I bet on the over. It was a push.”


    He doesn’t care about the money, the bet, the action, the feeling. To Alcantar_to the dozens of KU fans hanging their heads at Stardust_the gambling was secondary.


    A 20-something wearing an Aaron Miles jersey professes his loyalty to KU. A man standing behind him, with one Miller Lite in hand and another dozen or so in his stomach, says, “How can you be after that ?”


    Earlier in the day, in his room at the Hard Rock, Bill Clair was pontificating about Las Vegas, about the NCAA Tournament, about life.


    “The key is the second marriage,” says Clair, the 46-year-old purveyor of The Gator Hedge. “If your wife understands you, you pay for private-school tuition, you pay for bling, and she lets you go to Vegas the first week of the NCAA Tournament. As my wife says, if I put as much energy into my business as I did here, I’d be a millionaire.


    “It’s hard trying to explain to your friends if you’ve never been here this weekend. They look at me with a blank stare. They don’t get it. For a guy like me, this is better than going to one of those events live. The amount of action_and I’m not just talking betting. You can’t watch four games at once anywhere else.”


    Clair walks off. He’s headed down to the book to win some more, money he hopes goes into his pocket this time.


    Craig Watkins did the same a day earlier, and Alan Cribb that day, and all of the others who trolled the Strip in pursuit of riches, or a gambling buzz, or wherever they got their kicks.


    Behind the gambling windows at Caesars stands Chuck Esposito, the director of the sports book. He has a smile on his face. His casino raked in plenty of money this weekend, sure, and that felt good.


    “But this weekend,” Esposito says. “It’s fun. It’s what we live for.”


  • QUESTIONS FOR JEFF GANNON


    Blogged Down


    Interview by DEBORAH SOLOMON




    Q Should I call you Jim Guckert or Jeff Gannon?



    My Amex card still comes in the name of James Guckert, but I want to be called Jeff Gannon. That is who I am.


    Or rather it is the pseudonym under which you gained access to White House press briefings for two years, until your identity was revealed. Why do you think they let you in?


    I don’t know the answer to that. I don’t know the criteria they use. I asked to be let in, and they allowed me to come. I was very fond of all the people in the press office. They treated me well. They probably treated me better than I deserved.


    Are you suggesting that Bobby Eberle, the Republican operative who hired you to shill for his Gopusa under the guise of his Talon News service, has special access at the White House?


    I just don’t know the answer to that question.


    Scott McClellan, the press secretary to President Bush, called on you and allowed you to ask questions on a nearly daily basis. What, exactly, is your relationship with him?


    I was just another guy in the press room. Did I try to curry favor with him? Sure. When he got married, I left a wedding card for him in the press office. People are saying this proves there is some link. But as Einstein said, “Sometimes a wedding card is just a wedding card.”


    You mean like “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”? That wasn’t Einstein. That was Freud.


    Oh, Freud. O.K. I got my old Jewish men confused.


    You should learn the difference between them if you want to work in journalism.


    I’d like to get back into journalism. I’m hoping someone will offer me a job as a commentator or one of those political analysts that you see on the news shows all the time.


    What are we supposed to make of the fact that before reporting for Talon News, you had never had a job in journalism and apparently earned your living running a gay escort service?


    Don’t let that confuse the issue. We have driven so many good people from public service through the politics of personal destruction. People on the left who disagreed with me decided that I needed to be punished by any means necessary.


    How did you get your job at Talon News?


    I had submitted some opinion pieces to Gopusa. I believe they were picking up wire feeds, and Bobby Eberle wanted to supplement that with original reporting. He came to Washington for some business, and he called me. It was a breakfast meeting.


    Were you paid for your pieces?


    Yes. I received a kind of stipend.


    I assume Eberle fired you after you asked that now-famous question of President Bush at a press conference in January, suggesting that Democrats had “divorced themselves from reality.”


    I wasn’t fired. I resigned. I made the decision by myself after I learned that my family had received threatening phone calls. I decided this is what had to be done to try to make that stop.


    What do you mean by your family?


    My mother. She is 72. I am a big boy. I can take this. But it’s so hard on my mother. She has to reconcile all of these things, and it’s difficult.


    Do you find it hard to be a gay conservative in this country in light of the right-wing hostility to gay rights?


    I prefer that to be a private issue. I am more interested in national defense, taxation and immigration than in personal issues. I would like people’s personal lives to be behind the barrier once again, like they used to be.


    Still, it seems fair to ask about your position on gay marriage.


    My position is that I can’t imagine that gay marriage would be something that I would be interested in in the first place. I actually like being alone. I have decided that is how I want to live. I have a dog named Winston. I am still the same to Winston, no matter what, and there is comfort in that. Winston doesn’t watch the news.


    But for those of us who do watch the news, are you interested in defending one’s right to pose in the buff, as photographs on the Internet indicate you have done?


    We do have tremendous freedoms in this country, and one of the drawbacks of that is that people are free to take images of me and manipulate them however they want. At some point in the future, everyone is going to have a picture on the Internet that they are unhappy about.


    Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company | Home | Privacy Policy | Search | Corrections | RSS | Help | Back to Top




  • THE WAY WE LIVE NOW


    Bad Connections


    By CHRISTINE ROSEN





    In the 16th century, Venetian and French glassmakers perfected a technique of coating glass with an alloy of silver to produce an effective mirror. Mirrors soon proliferated in public spaces and private homes, and owning a pocket or hand mirror became a marker of status. The mirror, you might say, was an early personal technology — ingenious, portable, effective — and like all such technologies, it changed its users. By giving us, for the first time, a readily available image of ourselves that matched what others saw, it encouraged self-consciousness and introspection and, as some worried, excesses of vanity.


    By the 19th century, it was the machines of the Industrial Revolution — the power loom, the motor, the turbine — that prompted concern about the effects of technology on the person. Karl Marx argued that factory work alienated the worker from what he was toiling to produce, transforming him into ”a cripple, a monster.” Men were forced to become more like machines: efficient, tireless and soulless.


    Today’s personal technologies, particularly the cellphone and the digital video recorder, have not provoked similar worries. They are marvels of individual choice, convenience and innovation; they represent the democratization of the power of the machine. Our technologies are more intuitive, more facile and more responsive than ever before. In a rebuke to Marx, we have not become the alienated slaves of the machine; we have made the machines more like us and in the process toppled decades of criticism about the dangerous and potentially enervating effects of our technologies.


    Or have we? The cellphone, a device we have lived with for more than a decade, offers a good example of a popular technology’s unforeseen side effects. More than one billion are in use around the world, and when asked, their owners say they love their phones for the safety and convenience they provide. People also report that they are courteous in their use of their phones. One opinion survey found that ”98 percent of Americans say they move away from others when talking on a wireless phone in public” and that ”86 percent say they ‘never’ or ‘rarely’ speak on wireless phones” when conducting transactions with clerks or bank tellers. Clearly, there exists a gulf between our reported cellphone behavior and our actual behavior.


    Cellphone users — that is to say, most of us — are both instigators and victims of this form of conversational panhandling, and it has had a cumulatively negative effect on social space. As the sociologist Erving Goffman observed in another context, there is something deeply disturbing about people who are ”out of contact” in social situations because they are blatantly refusing to adhere to the norms of their immediate environment. Placing a cellphone call in public instantly transforms the strangers around you into unwilling listeners who must cede to your use of the public space, a decidedly undemocratic effect for so democratic a technology. Listeners don’t always passively accept this situation: in recent years, people have been pepper-sprayed in movie theaters, ejected from concert halls and deliberately rammed with cars as a result of rude behavior on their cellphones.


    Recently, when hackers gained access to Paris Hilton’s T-Mobile Sidekick, news organizations had no trouble finding pictures of her talking and typing into the device to illustrate their stories; Hilton, like most wireless users, spends a great deal of time in public engaged in private communications. Why? The cellphone, like the mirror, also offers a great deal of gratification to our egos. By making us available to anyone at any time, it serves as a ”publicization of emotional fulfillment,” as the French sociologist Chantal de Gournay has argued. Answering the phone and entering into conversation immediately informs everyone around us that we are in demand by someone, somewhere. Like a security blanket, the cellphone and other wireless devices serve as a form of connection when we are alone — walking down the street, standing in line — and connection is our contemporary currency.


    So is control, and enthusiasts of DVR’s like TiVo ecstatically praise the amount of it the device gives them: they can skip commercials, record hundreds of hours of their favorite shows, pause live television and be pleasantly surprised by recommendations, based on stored preferences, of other programs they might like to watch. In one TiVo subscriber survey, 98 percent of TiVo owners reported that they ”couldn’t live without” the device.


    Fewer Americans will in the years to come. According to Forrester Research, 41 percent of American homes will have a DVR within the next five years. Given that the only two things we do more than watch television are sleep and work, the DVR is, it seems, a perfect technological solution for controlling viewing habits. Yet, as a recent study by Next Research found, DVR users end up watching five to six hours more television per week than they did before they owned the device. Rather than freeing them to watch less television by eliminating waste, the DVR encourages them to watch greater amounts of television by making it a thoroughly personalized experience.


    The near future promises even more of these ego-casting technologies, which offer us greater control and encourage the individualized pursuit of personal taste. Soon we’ll carry cellphones that double as credit cards, toll passes, televisions and personal video cameras. At home, we’ll merge the functions of these many technologies into a single streamlined machine that will respond to the sound of our voice, like the multimodal browser being developed by I.B.M. and Opera. This expansion of choice and control will foster the already prevalent expectation that we can and should be able to have anything we want on demand.


    This is not a world without costs. Having our every whim satisfied at the touch of a button might encourage a childish expectation of instant gratification and could breed intolerance for the kinds of music, film and literature that require patience to enjoy fully. As we use these technologies to increase the pace and quantity of our experiences, we might find that the quality of our pursuits declines. Nevertheless, whatever ambivalence we might feel toward these technologies, we end up buying and using them anyway, not only because they make life more convenient but also because everyone else uses them and so we must as well. The traveling businessman without a cellphone will not have a business for long.


    Although there is no obvious political solution to the unintended problems created by our personal technologies — we wouldn’t want the government taxing our TiVo use — there are possibilities for nonpartisan agreement about changing our use of them. Conservatives like to complain about the content of popular culture and yet champion an unregulated market that thrives on creating and supplying new wants. Liberals herald the power of individual choice yet fret about the decline of community and the power corporations often exercise over our politics and culture. Both might agree, then, that it is a good thing if parents discourage children from watching too much television. Both might find something beneficial in private entities enforcing civility in discrete spaces, like restaurants and theaters that ban cellphones, and an increase in public transportation providers who offer cell-free spaces, like the ”quiet car” that Amtrak offers.


    As a society, we need to approach our personal technologies with a greater awareness of how the pursuit of personal convenience can contribute to collective ills. When it comes to abortion or Social Security, we avidly debate the claims of individual freedom against other goods. Why shouldn’t we do the same with our private technologies? In the end, it does matter if we watch six more hours of television every week, and it does affect our broader quality of life if hollering into our cellphones makes our daily commute a living hell for our fellow citizens on the bus or a danger to other drivers on the road. Rather than turning on, tuning in and dropping out, we might perhaps do better, individually and socially, to occasionally simply turn our machines off.




    Christine Rosen is a fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington and a senior editor of The New Atlantis: A Journal of Technology and Society.



    Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company | Home | Privacy Policy | Search | Corrections | RSS | Help | Back to Top




  • Wife shop!
    They’re the men who ask about your family’s disease history, whether you’d live on the Upper West Side and if you’d be willing to convert — on the first date. Did their biological clocks all go off at once?


    March 18, 2005  |  Three years ago, a professional acquaintance asked me out for a drink. Cute, in his late 30s, Peter was from a privileged background, confident, with a reputation as a cad. I was not particularly attracted to him, but figured I would take him up on the drink. No sooner had I settled into the booth than his questions started: “Where are you from?” Philadelphia. “Where did you go to high school?” Quaker school. “Are you Quaker? You look Jewish.” I’m not religious. “Would you raise your kids religiously?” Uh, I hadn’t thought about it. “Wait, how old are you?” 26. “Oh, that’s too young.” Too young for what? “Too young to be looking for a serious relationship. I really thought you were older when I asked you out.”


    Peter hadn’t walked into the bar to get to know a woman he found intriguing, or even to get laid. His business was finding a suitable bride, and had I been “old enough,” his next question might well have been how many goats my father had secured for my dowry. Peter was my first wife-shopper, but not the last. Reports of these kinds of encounters — with men who investigate your family’s disease history over a get-to-know-you beer or decide after two dinners to invite you on vacation with their college roommates and their wives — have become increasingly common among my female friends, urban women often assumed to be husband hunting themselves. In some cases, the men we’re meeting are more interested in settling down than we are — almost as though they have their own internal biological clocks.


    According to a new book, they do. In “The Male Biological Clock,” Dr. Harry Fisch, a urologist at Columbia University, asserts that men over 35 are twice as likely to be infertile as those under 25, and that a drop in testosterone after 30 can contribute to a psychological need to drop domestic anchor. And as the increase in fertility technologies and professional commitments for women pushes the average age of marriage back, some men are assuming a take-no-prisoners approach to shopping for a life mate.


    For ages, men who have reached a certain age — 35, perhaps, or 40 — and found themselves single have freaked out. These days, their quests to settle down seem not to be the exception, but the rule. The cad-reformation narrative is all over the bookstores, where lad-lit authors like Nick Hornby and Rick Marin tell of how they stopped fooling around and learned to love stability. The recently published anthology “Committed” is a collection of essays dedicated almost exclusively to this story arc. On Sunday night, ABC premiered “Jake in Progress,” a show about a lothario publicist whose ululating cry — “I wanna get married! I wanna have kids!” — has been featured on every promo for the show. And in the first episode, we learn that Jake’s boss, an older woman, didn’t feel the need to marry: She got pregnant by “Donor 328.6A.” It’s a surprising shift of the romantic idiom.


    Single women in their 20s and 30s have long been viewed with suspicion. They are painted as husband hunters whose tick, tick, ticking clocks lead them to extract marriage proposals (and sperm) from freedom-loving men. When they can’t find men to swaddle them with love and make babies for them, they’re labeled something worse: desperate. And not for nothing. When I sent a query to women asking if they had encountered commitment-philic, spouse-shopping men, I got a lot of disbelieving responses. “I wish men like that existed,” was the wail from many of my compatriots.


    But there are women — including those who want families, and are nervous about whether they’ll ever have them — who have nonetheless found themselves swatting away wild-eyed daddy candidates. Wife shoppers exist, and ladies, they are ready, willing and overeager to commit to you — and if not you, then to the next upright mammal (with a checking account and good teeth) that crosses their path.


    My friend Sara, 30, a retail associate in Boston, remembered a date with a guy in his 40s who had been impressed when she danced with him at a friend’s wedding. Their first date included a trip to a bossa nova club. “As soon as we sat down, it’s like a clipboard appeared and he started running through questions,” she said. During a conversation about classical music, Sara mentioned Eugene Ormandy, late musical director of the Philadelphia Orchestra. Her date was from Philly and, as she described it, “He lit up. He said, ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe you know that! I don’t know any girl who would know that!’ He was so thrilled that I fulfilled this unexpected requirement and then right after that he said, really hopefully: ‘Do you duck hunt?’”


    Another friend, Allison, a 30-year-old cable executive in New York, met theater producer Aaron through work. They shared a lusty kiss on a subway platform and planned a date. “At the bar he started quizzing me on what music was playing,” she said. “It felt like I was being interviewed. He wanted to know how I would feel about living on the Upper West Side, if I would prefer a vacation home in the Catskills or in the Hamptons, and would I convert to Judaism. When I said I didn’t know about conversion, he asked if I would consider raising my kids Jewish.” Allison said the conversation quickly dampened whatever ardor she’d felt for Aaron. “The questions he was asking were questions you get to on maybe the 28th date,” she said. “But because they were coming so early I felt stunned, and bummed because this guy clearly wasn’t excited about me. This was a picture of who he saw his future with and he was trying to decide if maybe I could fit into the outline.”


    Murmurings about real estate and theological differences are not likely to leave anyone swollen with desire, a state that is supposed to be one of the pleasures of early courtship. Like Allison, who said she was turned off by Aaron’s interrogation, I found it hard to get passionate about the guy who, after one date, left four plaintive phone messages over a three-day weekend I spent with my family (“Just checking in, missing you”). Nor did my heart beat faster for Ian who, after we’d been together a few weeks, e-mailed me a photo of his nephew with a note reading, “Might we one day have a JPEG of our own?” One guy recently made a bid to meet my parents after just three dates. That’s right: He wanted to meet my parents. Not hot. Desperate.


    Alexandra Marshall, a 35-year-old New York journalist, wrote in response to whether she’s ever dated a wife shopper: “Oh god, yes. Ick ick ick. Overenthusiasm is the world’s biggest turnoff.” Marshall recalled one guy who, after a first date, sent treasure maps leading to his apartment. After Date 2 came inscribed books and photographs of himself as a child. When she told him to back off, Marshall said her pursuer behaved as if she had “destroyed this elaborately crafted vision he had of our future together.” Marshall said her date’s zeal made her feel that the desire for intimacy was disingenuous. “It feels like he’s more interested in accomplishing something than getting to know me,” she wrote, acknowledging, “This is I’m sure the same thing men have long complained about with women who seem like they’re in a rush to the altar.”


    Maybe women should be careful what they wish for. Allison pointed out that wife shoppers are often actually just calling our bluffs. “Women profess to want families and kids,” she said. “But most of us have only come across the kind of guys who don’t want those things. So it’s safe as a woman to say you’re ready to settle down, because you think you’re never going to get called on it because the men are never ready. But then when you meet a man who is ready, women get super-nervous.”


    Super-nervous … or masochistic and self-sabotaging. There is a lot of second-guessing for those who have already eluded a wife shopper or two. Women have been wired to believe that landing a good man is a long shot; we’ve heard the tall tales about how getting married after 30 is harder than getting struck by lightning; Sylvia Ann Hewlett pursues us down the corridors of our unconscious, brandishing a turkey baster. And yet when these eager partners appear at women’s doorsteps, Ikea catalogs in hand, doors slam in their faces. What if this is just another manifestation of that old saying about women not liking the guys who treat them well? Maybe that depressing suspicion is correct: that women always desire what they can’t have, and when a guy presents them with the possibility of having him, they blanch and shoo him off the property.


    Melinda, a 28-year-old network news producer in Washington, stayed with someone who was more serious than she was for just this reason. “I found myself wanting to be into him because he seemed like such a mature, steady guy who wanted the right things and was family-oriented,” said Melinda. When she finally broke it off, she said, “I totally felt like I was self-sabotaging myself, and that my friends thought I was a cold, heartless bitch to not have strong feelings for someone who was so wonderful and who wasn’t treating me like a dick.”


    But there should be some kind of middle ground — somewhere between the guy who doesn’t pay attention to you and the guy who inspects you the way he would a border collie at Westminster; someone who doesn’t return your calls and someone who puts his socks in your underwear drawer after two dinner dates. Some of the men looking for matrimony are mensches, sure. But it’s hard not to get suspicious about such mysteriously sudden attachments. Jennifer Michael, a 36-year-old advertising brand planner in New York, said that in her experience, wife shoppers were men who had the right jobs and right homes and were simply looking to acquire the right wife to complete the set. She recalled a 34-year-old ex who “checked out babies more than other women.” Michael said that often, when she’d reveal something about herself, the ex would reply, “‘Oh, that’s good; that works well for me.’” Michael, now engaged to a man she said showed no wife-shopping tendencies, said that these kinds of remarks made her think that commitmentphilia wasn’t about finding real partnership, but rather “all about them; it’s such a selfish thing.”


    Men are in something of a bind here. Sure there’s selfishness in dating: Everyone, after all, is seeking a perfect match. But the terms of that search morph dramatically as we age; it’s sometimes hard to see how the grown-up practice of drinking and dining with complete strangers is even related to the exhilarating, slippery encounters of youth. In their 30s and 40s, men are faced with the reality that perhaps their appetite for lascivious experimentation is waning, but to begin an outright search for a lifetime partnership feels weighty, and will possibly be regarded as creepy. Every encounter is more loaded than it used to be: Will someone get hurt? Will someone’s time get wasted? If a relationship extends beyond a few dinners, does that mean that issues of commitment come into play?


    Not to mention that in a climate when economic and professional power continue to shift rapidly between the genders, men might be scared. “Women are so independent now that a lot of men may feel superfluous,” said Helena Rosenberg, author of “How to Get Married After 35: A User’s Guide to Getting to the Altar.” “Women take themselves on vacations, buy themselves cars, buy themselves homes. That’s got to be very frightening.” Indeed, our professional, financial and social opportunities combined with increased reproductive technology that allows us to postpone childbearing have created an intoxicating mix. Some women have discovered that the unencumbered life — the one that men have traditionally invoked as a reason not to settle down — is precisely all it’s cracked up to be.


    “Elizabeth,” a 32-year-old New Yorker, asked for anonymity because she is in a two-year relationship that she said is close to ending because of her boyfriend’s insistence on starting a family. She said her 31-year-old partner “is super into babies. And I’m … not.” Elizabeth said her boyfriend is “better at cooking, likes to stay home … Basically, the textbook kind of guy you want to date.” But, she said, she has occasionally wondered, given his pressure for family in the face of her ardent desire to hold off for a few years, whether her boyfriend is with her because he loves her, or because she is an appealing vessel for their progeny. “I’m starting to feel like a cad. I should appreciate the hell out of this guy, because I love him so much. But I’m not ready to have babies! Or get married!”


    Women feeling like cads, men pleading for commitment?


    “Isn’t it unbelievable? The whole world is upside down,” said the jovial author of “The Male Biological Clock,” Harry Fisch. But he added that the phenomenon makes sense to him, since women under 30 are having fewer kids, while the birth rate for women over 40 continues to rise. Fisch said he wrote his book in part to stimulate research on the impact male hormonal and physiological changes could have on the psyche. We don’t know for sure whether a male urge to couple and propagate is related in some primal way to changes in his body. But Fisch said he could make “an educated guess” that the biological changes “are related to this new phenomenon [of men pushing to settle down]. You don’t see the desire to settle down as much when men are younger and have higher testosterone levels. It increases later on.”


    Many men I contacted about this story were suspiciously unwilling to discuss their own domestic or reproductive impulses, though a number told me that they had “friends” who were prowling for wives. One 31-year-old New York artist, William, claimed that he did not approach dates with a checklist, but that after the end of his last serious relationship, he does see dates as “either marriage or a one-night stand.” And Todd, a 32-year-old secondary school teacher from outside Philadelphia, said that though he does not yet feel a biological impulse to marry, he has already spent some time thinking about his own romantic course in comparison with his father’s. “Occasionally I feel like if I meet somebody, and get married in two years, and then wait to have kids for another two years, I’m going to be 36 by the time I have my first child, and that kid is going to graduate high school when I’m 54,” he said. This is just the kind of mental arithmetic that some women have tortured themselves with for years.


    It’s also the kind of thinking that haunts Dr. Glen McWilliams, 39, a urologist and friend of Fisch’s, who said he is aware of his own biological clock and worries about whether he’ll be in any shape to throw a football or ski with his future children. He said that he and his friends have waited to complete their medical training before turning their focus to their personal lives, and that indeed, “many of the successful women you meet nowadays are willing to put it off.” McWilliams said that though it’s never been his thing, he now studiously avoids hooking up with sexually aggressive women he suspects might just be out for a good time. And of his dating habits, he admitted, “It’s true that my ability to interview is much more refined. Someone you’re talking to who’s more grounded might be a keeper, whereas someone more flighty who wants to go live in Europe for a year, you know she’s not ready to settle down.” McWilliams said specifically that he often enjoys a woman who will argue with him on an early date. “I’d rather have a tough, strong, determined woman I can have an argument with than a cute, sweet woman who won’t stand up for herself,” he said. “Because that lets me know that if I’m not around, she will defend herself and my children.”


    Sometimes wife shopping produces a happy ending. Kristin Kemp, a 31-year-old young adult novelist in New York, has been married for six months to a man she admits came on too strong. Kemp met investment banker Johan Svenson a year after her divorce from her first husband. Describing their first date, Kemp said, “We had this conversation in which he said to me, ‘You wouldn’t have to be a stay-at-home mom. You could work as much as you want. Do you want to have kids? Because I want a whole bunch of them.’” Svenson was then only 25, but as Kemp said, “He comes from a family that is very tight and he was anxious to get his own family that was very tight.” Kemp said she was taken aback and tentative with Svenson for six months. “I didn’t even know if I wanted to be in this,” said Kemp. “I just wanted somebody to hang out with.” Then, Kemp said, she realized the relationship “was just so much fun and I thought, ‘Why am I resisting this?’


    “These guys exist and I see my friends dump them all the time,” said Kemp. “I realize there are things wrong with some of them. But I also think that a lot of women are afraid of being treated properly. It’s almost like they’re not happy unless they find a guy who doesn’t want to commit. I don’t know why that is.”



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