Month: September 2006

  • Satire

     Satirical Self

    Lately, my father has been angry. Seventy-nine, a veteran of the U.S. Navy, a lifelong dues-paying member of three labor unions and now a collector of Social Security, my father, temperamentally a gentle person, is often filled with rage. The news does this to him, not so much the stories of tsunamis or hurricanes or any instances of environmental malice that lawyers call “acts of God.” No, acts of God fill my godless, liberal father with melancholy, if not sorrow, over the inequity of the world, whereas it is the iniquity of the world, what you might call “acts of man,” that are, these days, driving him to distraction. My father’s solution to such furies, dependable as the daily newspaper, to the anger that sets upon him when he learns of the latest folly in the corridors of power, is to turn to the op-ed pages. For our purposes here, it hardly matters who is writing, though, naturally, he has his favorites. What matters to him is that every day, in those well-reasoned column inches, he finds a mirror for his rage.

    Whereas, over the same period, his son has managed not to be angry, not in the least. Thirty-seven, a veteran of nothing, a subscription-paying reader of two magazines, a person whose Social Security pay-in, so far, is a sad little sum, I am, just as often as my father is furious, filled with mirth. Yes, I am aware of the disasters of the world, and they affect me no less deeply than they do him. What’s more, my father and I are of one mind about the inveterate folly, craven hypocrisy, unchecked greed, rampant abuse of office, ugly abuse of trust, vile abuse of language and galloping display of ignorance that has become a daily standard. And yes, I should admit that when I happen to think about such matters — when, say, my father phones me to chew over some morsel of maddening news — I find myself overtaken by a most unpleasant feeling. I imagine it is not unlike what must be suffered by a man who returns home after a long day’s work to find, in his absence, that his lovely house has been looted. And whereas my father, standing, as it were, at the front door of that plundered house, has come to find temporary shelter nearby, in reason — the arguments marshaled by those whose views he shares — I have found no relief in such reading, which lately I have forgone.

    In its stead, though, I have found a way not to be angry at all.

    I have taken shelter in the ridiculous.

    Imagine, for example, another warm morning in August 2005. The national atmosphere that summer was humid with talk of intelligent design, the evangelical putsch — in Pennsylvania, in Kansas, in America — to see pseudoscience imparted to our keen young scholars in place of the theory of evolution. My father, I knew, would be calling on such a day (and did) to rail thereupon. “Did you read Paul Krugman?” my father asked.

    “Of course,” I replied, “I did not read Paul Krugman.”

    What did I read? A newspaper I keep bookmarked on my computer browser and which, among many destinations, I visit every morning. Here, in part, is what it read:

    Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New “Intelligent Falling” Theory

    Aug. 17, 2005 | Issue 41.33

    Kansas City, KS — As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center for Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held “theory of gravity” is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

    “Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, ‘God’ if you will, is pushing them down,” said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture and physics from Oral Roberts University.

    Should N.S.A. satellite footage surface of me reading the above report — which appeared in The Onion: America’s Finest News Source — you would witness me nodding with pleasure, shaking with delight and laughing aloud (or, more accurately, snorting un-self-consciously). Why is this man snorting? I am doing so with relief, saved, as I was, from having to endure another reasonable argument in unreasonable times. This is, after all, a country where anyone is free to believe that the fingerprints of the Creator, however small, are discernible on even the tiniest microorganism (just as I am free to hold my sober conviction that chocolate rainbows pave the way to a heaven made of fudge). And yet, to my uncaffeinated morning self, intelligent design seemed as brusque a turn of the American evangelical screw as I had encountered — a crude, anticonstitutional crack at marrying church to state. It was just too ridiculous! How ridiculous was it? Pretty perfectly on par, I’d have to say, with the refutation, along evangelical lines, of gravity.

    That comedic turn, that comedic tone — a smart blend of parody and hyperbole and mockery — provided, that day, a remedy for my rage: it got channeled smoothly into ridicule. And that channel — a broadband of joco-serious rebuke — has been eating up the major part of my personal market share. As much as caffeine has become a matutinal necessity, a means of brokering, yet again, an uneasy truce with daylight, the kind of laughter — a well-aimed dart — induced by the larky bulletin above has become a no less necessary stimulant. How I hunger for that knowing tone! Like our little friend the lab rat at his lever — all a-jitter from another marching-powder marathon — I have acquired a taste for an addictive brand of fun.

    Which means, of course, that I’m in luck: for that tone has been resonating through every echelon of American culture, a shift affecting and informing every storytelling medium, whether factual or fictional. The Onion, of course, is only where my day gets cooking. Other browser bookmarks send me to half a dozen sites where I hope to extract similarly intemperate snorts. The best of these, for sure, I forward along to friends — fellow traffickers in yuks — who, young and old, unfailingly send me links found during their own morning frolics. These I follow no less intrepidly than Theseus did Ariadne’s thread, leading me, once again, out of my labyrinth of rage to that happier place: YouTube. There, with a dependability that would make a demographer pump his fist and an advertiser lose his shirt, I watch segments from “The Daily Show” and its spinoff, “The Colbert Report” (programs that, funnily enough, poached The Onion’s top writers). In such shows, then, I find that tone — so knowing, so over it, so smart, so asinine. And given the choice, these days, between a smartass and, well, a dumb ass, even the Academy Awards, that most treacle-toned of evenings, picked this year’s host from that clever category.

    And picking the smartass, it seems, is what we’ve been doing, across the televised board. We’ve been tuning in to “The Simpsons” (in its 18th season, the longest-running sitcom in television history), which pokes tirelessly away at the idea of the American family, not to say America. We’ve been turning on “South Park” (in its 10th season, the longest-running sitcom in cable-television history), with its bile-tongued children probing every asininity (and which made a successful trip to the big screen in “South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut”). We’ve been ordering in “Chappelle’s Show” (the top-selling DVD of a television series in, well. . .DVD history), with its now-embittered impresario, who, erewhile, was acid-tongued as he chewed up (and out) another cracker, whistling all the way. We’ve been showing up at “The Office,” in branches on either side of the Atlantic, each of which, with regionally adjusted inflections, paws away at its constricting white collar (not to say its creator’s later “Extras” — another kind of office, a celebrity waiting room with sexier furniture). Like the soulless producer in the Coen brothers’ “Barton Fink,” our Hollywood executives have been courting the equivalent of That Barton Fink Feeling: that ubiquitous tone — so “young,” so “hip,” so “edgy.” Like the lava lamp of yore, it has been tucked into the hot corner of every room, whether “Da Ali G Show,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Boondocks,” “American Dad!,” “King of the Hill,” “The Thick of It” or, on the big screen, the no less knowing “Dawns” — and Shaun — “of the Dead,” “American Dreamz” and “Thank You for Smoking.”

    But if we were to think that that tone — so sarcastic, so ironic, so sardonic — were trapped within entertainments trundled onto screens, we would be wrong. It has pervaded literary fiction for decades, from Joseph Heller’s “Catch-22” to Philip Roth’s “Our Gang” to David Foster Wallace’s “Infinite Jest.” No surprise, then, that it should feature in the work of our most heralded young authors of the past year, whether Gary Shteyngart’s unbridled “Absurdistan,” Colson Whitehead’s mocking “Apex Hides the Hurt,” Marisha Pessl’s madcap “Special Topics in Calamity Physics,” not to mention books by our more seasoned storytellers — “In Persuasion Nation,” by George Saunders; “The Diviners,” by Rick Moody; “Little Children,” by Tom Perotta; and “A Changed Man,” by Francine Prose.

    All of these varied entertainments — human emanations on the Web, on television, at the movies and between hardcovers (whatever their differences in ambition, conception and achievement) — are attuned to the ridiculous in modern life. They are all, in other words, satirical: they revel in, and trade on, knowingness. And if we seem to be enjoying a sort of golden age of the satirical, that invites the question How successfully does satire serve our culture? That there is so much might seem proof of its expediency. After all, what could be wrong with a mode of expression that orients a critical, comical eye to flaws in the contemporary weave? And yet, you might wonder, as well, whether a culture can have too much of that knowing tone and, if so, just what that “too much” might mean.

    The ancient Romans provide the beginnings of an answer, in large measure because that’s where satire has its beginnings. Just as Americans like to claim jazz as “our art form,” the Romans claimed satire as theirs. Gaius Lucilius (second century B.C.) was the first satirist, a writer vocal about the negative virtues of his fellow citizens — mostly the tendency to imitate their Greek neighbors in everything. As boastful as a modern-day rapper, Lucilius pointed to himself as the original Roman — not some Helleno-wannabe — as much because of what he lampooned (things Greek) as the fact that he lampooned at all. I am Roman, his writings say, hear me mock. And indeed, it was how such criticism was delivered that made satire different — and differently effective — from, say, a sermon. “A cultivated wit,” wrote Horace, a later Roman satirist, “one that badgers less, can persuade all the more. Artful ridicule can address contentious issues more competently and vigorously than can severity alone.” Sounding like the always-fulminating Lewis Black of “The Daily Show,” Rome’s Juvenal tells us: “It is harder not to write satire. For who could endure this monstrous city, however callous at heart, and swallow his wrath?. . .Today, every vice has reached its ruinous zenith. So, satirist, hoist your sails.” The idiot wind, blowing every time Rome’s hypocrites moved their mouths, drove her satirists, in their artful way, to bluster back, setting a course pursued by writers living in turbulent eras ever since.

    When, in 1729, the Tory politician Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) published his satirical “A Modest Proposal” — which, in the straight-faced language of a sermon, advocated solving the problem of poverty by selling Irish children as meat — his mode was perfectly ironic. Swift did not wish to see his countrymen’s children ground into shepherd’s pies. Rather, he wanted to level an attack on political opponents who were devouring the Irish people. Swift, then, was approaching a troubling question upside down and intimating a sarcastic answer. (As such, Stephen Colbert, in parodying Bill O’Reilly’s extreme rhetoric, is fully Swiftian: “The Colbert Report” works to convince us of the opposite of its host’s every misguided opinion.) For Swift’s part, he believed that satire was a way of “prompting men of genius and virtue to mend the world as far as they are able.” His fellow Augustan Alexander Pope wrote, “When truth or virtue an affront endures, the affront is mine, my friend, and should be yours.” And although satire could not be a remedy in and of itself, it was doing a good deal, Pope assured, when it could “deter, if not reform.”

    Indeed, this elegant, not to say defiant, means of addressing “affronts” to truth has proved a liberating mode of expression for authors across the ages, from Chaucer to Cervantes to Voltaire. Most comprehensible of all, perhaps, is the attraction that so insubordinate a brand of comedy, a very free kind of speech, held for writers in a country formed through insubordination — our own. Prerevolutionary America was rife with satirical pamphleteers, and even Benjamin Franklin, in his “Rules by Which a Great Empire May Be Reduced to a Small One,” lampooned the misadministration of the colonies. And yet, when readers today experience the best satires of our past, editorial points that once took center stage now shuffle toward the wings. Whether in the rueful parody of Mark Twain’s “War Prayer” (“It was a time of great and exalting excitement”), the wicked ironies of Ambrose Bierce’s “Devil’s Dictionary” (“Conversation, n. A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor”) or even the mordant sarcasm of Dorothy Parker’s “Comment” —

    Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

    A medley of extemporanea;

    And love is a thing that can never go wrong;

    And I am Marie of Roumania.

    — we are responding, not so much to the underlying “point” each author makes as to the virtuosity of its execution, the satirist’s fine ear for language, the pleasurable spectacle of seeing words used originally, used well. Yes, as it happens, Parker, Bierce and Twain are making timeless points: love, often unlovely; conversation, frequently dull; war, not exalting. No one, though, would needlepoint these revelations onto pillows — they’re old news. In the hands of an adept satirist, however, the old news satire brings becomes a special report. It reads, in part, that human civilization is not so wonderful: look, satire testifies, at the latest, artless shenanigans we’ve gotten ourselves into. But the report also shows that human civilization can be wonderful: look, satire says, at how artful we can be.

    Satire, then, signals both the sickness and health of a society in equal measure: it showcases the vigor of the satirist and the debility of the satiree. As such, we might conclude, in America, that its abundance suggests a normal balance of destructive yin and creative yang, a human need to view the most vexing frailties of a culture through the liberating prism of lampoon.

    An episode of “South Park” from last year, “Best Friends Forever,” was shown on the eve of Terri Schiavo’s final day, inspired by the grim battle among family members. Their private tragedy, we know well, became a series of loggerheaded squabbles in which efforts to reach consensus on what we mean by “human life” rapidly devolved. The creators of “South Park” addressed this rhetorical erosion with no small insight and freakish speed. (Like all their episodes, this one was produced in less than a week.) Kenny, the accident-prone child, is killed by an ice cream truck while playing his Sony PSP — the portable game console that, last year, was the grail of children everywhere. At the reading of Kenny’s will, Cartman, the obese, morally repugnant child who, on another episode, ate the parents of a kid he disliked, is left the PSP. Alas for Cartman, Kenny, dead for almost 24 hours, is belatedly revived. Now on a feeding tube and, as his doctor explains, in “a persistive vegetative state. . .like a tomato,” Kenny is, by law, alive. Kenny’s possessions, therefore, revert to him. As Cartman goes to the Colorado Supreme Court to seek the removal of Kenny’s feeding tube (so he can get the PSP), Kenny’s more altruistic friends, Kyle and Stan, court the media: “We’ll make everyone in the country know that they’re killing Kenny.”

    The national uproar that ensued on this cartoon was, in temper, not a great deal more cartoonish than the one that was playing out that evening in Schiavo’s real America. The episode, however distorted by crudity, mirrored the polarizing rage of our citizenry, recalling nothing so much as Ambrose Bierce’s satirical definition of conversation. The genius of “South Park,” scatologically over the top though it tends to be (Oprah, this season, was kidnapped at gunpoint by her vagina), is how it nonetheless manages, with glee, to go after everyone, artfully sketching our society’s inability to make sense of itself, to itself.

    Another target that our satirists have been skewering is our confusion about the responsibility that corporations, governments or, indeed, parents, have to tell the truth. Released in the spring of 2005, “Thank You for Smoking” (adapted from Christopher Buckley’s very funny novel) featured the charismatic tobacco-industry lobbyist Nick Naylor, a villain with a hero’s face and a salesman’s mouth. As one senator puts it, “The man shills. . .for a living,” a profession about which Nick’s son is curious. Joey, 12, understands that his father makes arguments on behalf of corporations, but given that the corporation in question manufactures death, he wonders what happens when his father’s arguments are wrong:

    NICK: Joey, I’m never wrong.

    JOEY: But you can’t always be right.

    NICK: Well, if it’s your job to be right, then you’re never wrong.

    JOEY: But what if you are wrong?

    NICK: O.K. Let’s say that you’re defending chocolate, and I’m defending vanilla. Now, if I were to say to you, “Vanilla is the best flavor ice cream,” you’d say. . .

    JOEY: No, chocolate is.

    NICK: Exactly. But you can’t win that argument. So, I’ll ask you, “So you think chocolate is the end all and be all of ice cream, do you?”

    JOEY: It’s the best ice cream. I wouldn’t order any other.

    NICK: Oh, so it’s all chocolate for you, is it?

    JOEY: Yes, chocolate is all I need.

    NICK: Well, I need more than chocolate. And for that matter, I need more than vanilla. I believe that we need freedom, and choice when it comes to our ice cream, and that, Joey Naylor, that is the definition of liberty.

    JOEY: But that’s not what we’re talking about.

    NICK: Ah. But that’s what I’m talking about.

    JOEY: But. . .you didn’t prove that vanilla’s the best.

    NICK: I didn’t have to. I proved that you’re wrong, and if you’re wrong, I’m right.

    JOEY: But you still didn’t convince me.

    NICK: I’m not after you. I’m after them.

    Nick’s “them” are the people beyond the table where they sit, the wider world he would have believe that smoking is an expression of freedom. For Nick, “liberty” is merely rhetorical: it is, as he says, what he’s “talking about.” He doesn’t mean a word of it: he only means to win. The truth is not his — or, we are to understand, perhaps no longer our — business.

    The business of scoring this frustratingly debased game of contemporary conversation has been the main focus of “The Daily Show.” Stewart et al. have built careers as liberal foils to conservative talk radio. Where the Limbaughosphere thrives on a muscular, hectoring rhetoric, the mode of “The Daily Show” has been a lampooning of such bullying. Although “The Daily Show” can revel in the same kind of posturing, even if the stance is far more liberal, the best of its work is restrained in the Horatian manner. The show’s “artful ridicule” is at its most scrupulous when attentive to, critical of and vocal about abuses of language. When James Frey, author of the fraudulent memoir “A Million Little Pieces,” was being torn apart by an array of talking heads indignant over his distortions, Stewart offered a deadpan summation that spoke to the perfervid journalistic outrage. Pundits were upset with Frey, Stewart explained, “because he misled us. . .into a book we had no business getting into.” Armed with scrupulous syntax alone, Stewart ironically evoked two infamies that rhymed with Frey’s: the claim that the Bush administration had misled us into war and the observation that the media, so severe in its judgments of Frey’s lie-world, had remained less dogged before the administration’s possible untruths.

    This is artful indeed, but a high point both for “The Daily Show” and contemporary satire more generally came shortly after The New Yorker published Seymour Hersh’s 2004 exposé, “Torture at Abu Ghraib.” There was genuine shock, both here and abroad, that a prison taken from a dictator who had used it to torture Iraqi dissidents had in turn served as a forum for the torture of Iraqis by their American “liberators.” Much of our high-flown rhetoric, billowing grandly over Operation Iraqi Freedom, collapsed on the mast. The irony — uncomplicatedly galling — seemed obvious enough, but its precise grade was measured nowhere more finely than in an exchange between Stewart and Rob Corddry, a player who has since departed. As Corddry explained to Stewart, his voice that of a schoolteacher instructing an uncommonly simple-minded child:

    Jon, there’s no question what took place in that prison was horrible, but the Arab world has to realize that the U.S. shouldn’t be judged on the actions of a. . .well, that we shouldn’t be judged on actions. It’s our principles that matter; our inspiring, abstract notions. Remember, Jon, just because torturing prisoners is something we did doesn’t mean it’s something we would do.

    This is not, as it is sometimes called, “fake news”; rather, blunt satire. Co-opting the patronizing, abstraction-rich rhetoric of the administration of which “The Daily Show” has often been critical, Corddry shined a bright light on an empty set of bromides. All too clearly, words can prove seductive — but only to a point: the point where such seductions become fundamentally ridiculous.

    Of recent examples of American satire, though, most remarkable may be Stephen Colbert’s appearance this spring at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner. For anyone familiar with Colbert’s lampoonery on “The Daily Show,” not to say his rise to headlining “The Colbert Report,” it was something to see him following in the footsteps of Cedric the Entertainer, Jay Leno and Drew Carey — comedians who most recently tummled at the pleasure of the president. Whatever your tastes, we can agree that they are creatures of the mainstream. Whereas Colbert is nothing if not a critic of that mainstream, one traveling its trashy wake. Consider, then, his straight-faced, pseudoconservative patter, as he expressed, that night, his parodic support of a president sitting a few feet away:

    I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message: that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound — with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

    Or how he “defended” the administration’s apparently chaotic profile:

    Everybody asks for personnel changes. So, the White House has personnel changes. And then you write, “Oh, they’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.” First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!

    And how he reproached the “liberal press that’s destroying America” for its lack of professionalism:

    Let’s review the rules. Here’s how it works: the president makes decisions. He’s the Decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put ’em through a spell-check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know — fiction!

    To go by the media swirl that followed, Colbert’s speech that night represents in our culture a culmination of what satire does well or, rather, cannot but do: when it bends to kiss a hand, it bites. Such Lucilian ferocity drew the intended attention. By a great many journalists, Colbert’s “antics” were deemed abusive, discourteous, tasteless. And yet, by a great many citizens, Colbert’s appearance was a moment of hallelujah: he made many people — most poignantly the press — uncomfortable. Colbert stood in their midst, yes, but stood apart, just as the first Roman satirists stood apart, initially from things Greek and then from the corruption that flooded the mainstream. Whatever its latest stance, satire always finds its footing high above the polluted river of a culture, a vantage point from which it taunts. From Juvenal to Swift, from Franklin to Twain: each stood above his era’s lies and, from such a lofty perspective, named the truths of his time.

    The appeal of such a mode of discourse to any vice-blighted age is understandable: it provides another means to editorial ends. And yet, more than merely editorializing, it also demonstrates a capacity for better behavior in human beings — our creativity, our subtlety, our panache. That so many people are responding to satire in the public square, and, indeed, that so much satire is thriving at a center usually held by more anodyne entertainments, suggests our hunger for the better — the better articulated, the better said, the better thought, the better done.

    At the outset, I said I had taken shelter in the ridiculous. Upon reflection, the ridiculous may not be the most well shielded of retreats. Can you take shelter in the ridiculous if everywhere becomes ridiculous? For the tools of satire, the sharp knives of sarcasm and the pointy shivs of irony and the toy hammer of lampoon are being wielded with widespread enthusiasm, and not merely by cunning builders of satirical speeches and stories. Rather, they are being lent to us all, to enable every possible construction. Did you hear, for example, the news conference President Bush gave in Germany over the summer? “I’m looking forward to the feast you’re going to have tonight,” he said to the German chancellor in a moment of folksy charm, “and I understand that I may have the honor of slicing the pig.” This drew laughs, and when his remarks wound down, the president repeated, “I’m looking forward to that pig tonight.” This before fielding the following from a reporter:

    “Does it concern you,” the man asked, stuttering, “that the Beirut airport has been bombed, and do you see a risk of triggering a wider war? And on Iran, they’ve so far refused to respond. Is it now past the deadline, or do they still have more time to respond?”

    “I thought,” Bush replied, “you were going to ask about the pig.”

    Try to ignore, if you can, the image of the carcass of a pig, Bush poised, knife in hand, ready to carve. Consider instead that when asked on an international stage about real carnage — about spreading violence in the Middle East, about a constellation of worries suggesting a world at the brink of war — the president’s reply did not take the questioner’s inquiry seriously but, rather, sarcastically. His rhetoric sounded less like that of a steward of state — one addressing serious matters with sobriety — than that of a smartass. And this was not Juvenal’s sarcasm, or Twain’s, or even Colbert’s: it was not elegantly tuned to a point nor artfully part of a formal design. It was, instead, almost perfectly inappropriate and, of course, not unindicative of the president’s normal rhetorical mode. For it is not, I think, as is so often said, that the president is as much inarticulate as he is too clearly articulate, in a way: his tone, consistently condescending, betrays his sense of being, like a satirist, above those he calls down to. And that tone — carelessly sarcastic, thoughtlessly ironic, indiscriminately sardonic — that is the very one you now find everywhere. Bush is us; Bush is me: his is the same sarcasm I employ when I tell my father, once again, that of course I didn’t read today’s op-ed.

    It makes me wonder what happens when the language of argument and the language of ridicule become the same, when the address of a potentate is voiced no more soberly than the goofings of some rube. Perhaps that leveling of language merely passes, the rhetorical registers recalibrated by nothing so much as an unfolding of the days. Or perhaps there’s another way of putting it, one voiced by President Bush himself. After Colbert, after Germany, just before Labor Day, there was yet another news conference, one that found the president asking the press corps — who so lately protested their mistreatment at satirical hands — how long they were to be stationed in a temporary briefing room across from their typical quarters. “The decision will be made by commanders on the ground,” cracked one. “There’s no timetable,” went another. “What do you think this is,” quipped the president, “the correspondents’ dinner or something?”

    That, it seems to me, is an excellent question.

    Wyatt Mason received this year’s National Magazine Award for Reviews and Criticism. He is a contributing editor of Harper’s Magazine.


  • Today’s Papers

    Compromised?
    By Alexander Dryer
    Posted Friday, Sept. 22, 2006, at 5:08 AM ET

    Nearly everyone leads with the tentative deal between the White House and dissident Senate Republicans on the interrogation and trial of suspected terrorists. (Mahmoud Abbas’ promise to recognize Israel tops the Wall Street Journal‘s online newsbox.) The compromise legislation, which clarifies acceptable questioning techniques and outlines military commission procedures, seems likely to pass. With a major GOP rift apparently closed, the papers play up the unity-and-goodwill theme—the WSJ‘s quote from Sen. John McCain is typical: “We’re all winners because we’ve been able to come to an agreement through a process of negotiations and consensus.” But the details—not to mention crowing from the White House—indicate that the administration is walking off with a major victory while allowing the Senate to save face. And by focusing solely on the provisions over which the two sides disagreed, the major papers overlook potentially troubling areas of GOP agreement.

    The proposed deal’s political significance is obvious: It should allow Congress to head into the fall campaign with a divisive issue resolved, USA Today notes. Details were hammered out Thursday at a lengthy Capitol Hill meeting between administration officials and the Republican opposition’s leaders (McCain, Lindsey Graham, and John Warner). The senators had resisted administration efforts to reinterpret the nation’s Geneva Conventions obligations regarding the treatment of prisoners. They also were opposed to trials that permitted classified evidence terror detainees would not be allowed to confront.

    On the surface, the senators seem to have beaten back President Bush’s efforts. The Los Angeles Times certainly plays it that way, calling the agreement a “major concession” on Bush’s part and citing the approval of at least one major human rights group.

    But the New York Times explains that while the Bush administration agreed not to reinterpret the Geneva Conventions, an international treaty, the senators agreed that the War Crimes Act, a domestic law, should define what constitutes “grave breaches” of the conventions. As for less serious violations of the conventions (“those lying between cruelty and minor abuse,” as the Post puts it), the senators agreed Bush should be given the authority to judge the conventions’ “meaning and application.” (He will have to publish his interpretation, but details remain sketchy.) In short, the deal seems to be redefinition once removed, and the Post indicates that may have been all the McCain side wanted from the beginning. The “biggest hurdle” in negotiations, the paper reports, “was convincing administration officials that lawmakers would never accept language that allowed Bush to appear to be reinterpreting the Geneva Conventions” [emphasis added]. Certainly presidential counselor Dan Bartlett views the “compromise” as one of perception only: “We proposed a more direct approach to bringing clarification. This one is more of the scenic route, but it gets us there,” he says in the pages of the NYT.

    As for the other main point of contention—secret evidence—the senators made more headway; the Post reports defendants will be allowed to see it in “summary or redacted form.” (Of course, the extent of the redaction is critical: “We are sentencing you to death because of evidence you ██████ on ████ with ██████” isn’t very helpful.) But the NYT‘s editorial points out that the administration has begun trying to back out of even this modest commitment.

    Examined closely then, the great compromise seems to be a great cave-in. As the Post writes in its editorial, “In effect, the agreement means that U.S. violations of international human rights law can continue as long as Mr. Bush is president, with Congress’s tacit assent.”

    Unfortunately the major papers don’t dig into what may prove to be a significant issue with the compromise legislation. As the Christian Science Monitor reports, even before negotiations began, both the administration and its Senate opponents had provisions in their respective bills that would strip detainees of their right to file an application for a writ of habeas corpus. Apparently the goal is turning the prison at Guantanamo Bay back into a legal black hole.

    In other front-page news, the NYT and the Post go high with the CDC’s new recommendations that an HIV test be part of the routine battery of blood tests offered to all patients. Experts hope the move will lower the number of people who are unaware of their HIV status. It may also decrease the stigma associated with the disease.

    USAT, the Post, and the LAT all front Wal-Mart’s decision to offer generic drugs for as little as $4 to insured and uninsured patients alike. Sales will begin in Tampa immediately and will expand to states beyond Florida by the end of 2007. The Post says nearly 300 drugs are part of the program, but USAT notices that the number “includes different dosage strengths of the same drugs”; the real list includes fewer than 150. The move may drive down drug costs by putting pressure on other retailers. (Wal-Mart did not say whether it negotiated deals with manufacturers and suppliers.) The LAT notes the news hit the company’s drugstore competitors hard.

    Danger, Not So Able: The NYT stuffs an update on “Able Danger,” the Defense Department program that some claimed had identified 9/11 hijackers, including Mohamed Atta, before the attacks. Those claims, the paper now reports, have been discredited by the Defense Department’s inspector general. Of course the 9/11 commission already dismissed the claims—before the NYT ran a credulous, above-the-fold front pager on them in August 2005. Dearly departed TPer Eric Umansky ripped the story to shreds back then, arguing that papers “should give articles prominence commensurate with the level of confidence they have in the story’s sources—obviously.” Follow-ups setting the record straight probably deserve even more prominence.

    Alexander Dryer works for The New Yorker in Washington, D.C.

  • My House; What Lies Beneath, Patricia Kennedy Lawford dies at 82, Real Estate Obsession

    September 10, 2006

    My House; What Lies Beneath

    Let’s say, instead of whatever you’re actually doing, that you’re standing on the little wooden deck of my house. It’s off the kitchen, on the third floor, sort of — it’s hard to count the floors, really, because the house is built on a hill, quite steep, like all San Francisco real estate. It’s pretty precarious if you think about it, and you’re thinking about it, and so you say, ”What’s this house built on?”

    I lean my arms on the railing of the deck. I own this place. I bought it with my own money. It’s not like when I lived in apartments, and something would break and we’d have to call the landlord. Nowadays everything is mine. If something breaks, I’m the guy who has to, you know, make the phone calls until we find a guy to fix it. Actually, I don’t usually make the phone calls myself. But still, the point is, my old landlords are not going to fix this place. The house is mine, and so I know some stuff about it.

    ”There was this woman, Irene Marsh,” I say to you. ”She was married to Mr. John (Jack) Marsh, but he was actually more interested in a woman named Miss Alice Murray. Basically, it was the tale of a wife who lavished all of her love and affection upon a man who repudiated her for another woman of greater charm. It’s a long story, but that’s how Herbert Carr got shot. He was a carpenter.”

    You say something like, ”Did that guy build the house?”

    ”Oh, no,” I say, ”but he ended up in this whole scandal, you see? It’s a mystery, what this whole house is built on. It’s an unknowable mystery.”

    By now you wish that you weren’t on my deck, and that you were just reading about this. But even so, in a magazine about real estate? Shouldn’t this guy know something about his house — like what it’s built on, for instance?

    My house was built in 1907. That’s the only thing I know about my house, really, and I tell it to people all the time. ”It was built in 1907,” I say, pointing at something in the house when we’re walking around. I could be pointing at my CD player. It doesn’t matter what I’m pointing at, because then I make a little joke I always make: ”It was a very popular year to build houses in San Francisco.”

    Everyone chuckles, because in 1906 there was the big earthquake in San Francisco that knocked a lot of stuff down. There’s going to be another big earthquake, everyone keeps telling us. It’s a public awareness campaign telling my wife and me that we should have a whole lot of water in our basement. I went out and bought a lot of big plastic things with water in them, and my wife later reorganized them.

    Perhaps I should really start it this way: I write fiction for a living, and my wife is an illustrator, and these are basically nice ways of saying that we just don’t get anything about one single thing. I mean, I was way ahead of the curve on appreciating the work of Haruki Murakami, and my wife put up our hummingbird feeder, but basically we don’t get anything at all. When something in the actual world goes wrong, my wife and I look at whatever it is, and then we sort of sneak looks at each other. We have no idea whatsoever what is going on. We are both hoping one of our old landlords will come and fix it.

    A few years ago, when my wife reorganized the water bottles in our basement, she stacked them all up in a corner, and over the next few weeks, every so often we would notice that the floor of the basement was a little damp. We thought maybe it was dampness in the air, or because of the rain — we didn’t get it, basically. It was a concern, though, because the floor of our basement was made of cardboard. Every time I explain to someone that the floor of our basement was made of cardboard, they say it couldn’t be so. But I tell you it was cardboard — wet cardboard. After a few weeks we looked in the corner and saw that all of the stacked kegs of water were empty. Stacking them had made them leak or something — I don’t really get it — and now our floor was ruined.

    Our old landlords wouldn’t return phone calls, so we got someone to call a guy who came over to our house. I’ll say that his name was Geronimo, and I told him straight off, ”Geronimo, I know it’s going to cost much more and take much longer than you say it will, but could you estimate how much that really would be?” He told us five minutes and five dollars, and that if we called a painter in we could take care of that big, ugly rusty streak on the side of the house from where we put up the hummingbird feeder. We looked at a bunch of squares that a new basement floor could be made of and chose this really cool thing, sort of a rubber surface with a pattern on it that my wife really liked from a design perspective and I really liked because it reminded me of the floor of an underwater hideout.

    We all got back to work — me making up stuff, my wife drawing whatever popped into her head and Geronimo pounding on things and then explaining very patiently that it was absolutely necessary to pound on things in order to take all the cardboard away and turn our basement into a cool-floored hideout. Geronimo and I didn’t make much conversation, on account of my not knowing, ever, what he was talking about, and also because of the time he asked me what I was listening to in my office and I told him that it was an album by the Aluminum Group that was produced by Jim O’Rourke, who maybe Geronimo had heard of because O’Rourke was pretty big in the avant-garde jazz scene in Chicago, where Geronimo was from, and Geronimo reminded me that it was actually the other guy pounding on the floor who was from Chicago, not him. And then one day he came upstairs and asked me something.

    ”What do you know about the foundation of your house?” he asked me.

    ”I told you,” I said. ”I told you to pretend that I was just a person walking by the house, because that’s how much I would know about anything at all in the house.”

    ”You must know something,” Geronimo said. ”You couldn’t just live in the house without knowing anything.”

    ”The house was built in 1907,” I tried, pointing at my phone.

    ”I think you should see this,” he said, so I followed him downstairs to the basement. He and the guy from Chicago had pulled up the cardboard and I could see what was underneath. Underneath was dirt — a few pieces of wood, and dirt, and in the dirt were some old newspapers. It looked exactly like what I would have thought offhand was underneath every house in the history of houses, but then he handed me one of the newspapers and I saw at once why he wanted me to see it.

    ”Wow,” I said.

    ”Yeah,” Geronimo told me, but I was already getting my wife, who was seven months pregnant with our first child. The newspaper page I was holding — I hope The Times is reprinting it here for you, because it’s beautiful — was from the year my house was built: 1907, a very popular year to build houses in San Francisco. It was the front page, focusing on the scandalous accidental shooting of Herbert Carr by the enraged Mrs. Irene Marsh, who was actually aiming for Miss Alice Murray.

    ”Wow,” my wife said, and read part of the scandal out loud. ”’The tale of a wife who lavished all of her love and affection upon a man who repudiated her for another woman of greater charm.”’

    ”’Both principals in the afternoon drama have figured prominently in the papers on previous occasions,”’ I said, ”’notably when Mrs. Marsh attempted to horsewhip her husband and Miss Murray at the Orpheum a year ago.’ I wonder if that’s the same place we saw Tom Waits perform?”

    ”You don’t get it,” Geronimo said.

    He was giving me the look you are giving me now, on my own porch, because he was right. We didn’t get it. The worst thing about an unknowable mystery, like the foundation of a house or the scandals of years gone by, is that it’s not an unknowable mystery at all. It’s just that you happen not to know what it is. I mean, here’s the thing: apparently a house shouldn’t be built on dirt. Dirt is not the thing that belongs under houses, and so they had to dig up all of the dirt and put it in one of those enormous Dumpsters that appear outside people’s houses. Meanwhile, a bunch of metal things held up the house so it wouldn’t fall down the hill while they were digging up all the dirt, and then they pounded things into other things and poured things out of a cement mixer — it must have been cement, come to think of it — and of course it cost a gazillion dollars and took forever. They weren’t done by the time the baby came out of my wife — and boy, talk about unknowable mysteries. The baby not only got all the dust and noise, but it was old enough to make its preferences known for Kraftwerk and plain yogurt and ”Good Night, Gorilla” before Geronimo was done with us. The baby could walk, practically, before Geronimo walked out of my house for good. And all the while I still didn’t get it. O.K., our house was built on dirt, but I always thought everything was built on dirt. I’m told that if this were actually the case, then everything would fall down, but don’t you basically have to put a house on dirt? Isn’t dirt under everything? No one has been able to answer this for me, so it’s an unknowable mystery, like everything about my house, except for when it was built, and the newspapers have been able to answer that one in black and white: 1907, the year a woman named Irene Marsh tried to shoot her husband John (Jack) Marsh’s mistress, Miss Alice Murray, but shot Herbert Carr instead, and not only is this not an unknowable mystery, but it’s actually interesting.

    ”You know who else would be interested in this?” my wife said, holding up the newspaper. ”Who’s that Californian history guy, real nice guy, we met at that library thing?”

    ”Kenneth Starr,” I said.

    ”No,” my wife said, ”that’s the Clinton prosecutor.”

    ”Your whole house is built on dirt,” Geronimo said. ”You’re really in trouble here.”

    ”Dirt and newspapers,” I reminded him, and tried to think. ”Kevin,” I said. ”Kevin, not Kenneth, Starr.”

    ”Look at how they illustrated it,” my wife said. ”A drawing and a painting and a photograph. We should have this framed.”

    ”Thanks so much for showing us this,” I gushed to Geronimo, who was looking at me and my wife. Probably he was about to try again and tell me why a house can’t be built on dirt, and anyone who heard him — a person walking by the house, for instance — might have learned why that is so. But right now he was just looking at two people who bought a house with their own money and had just learned it was built on dirt with some newspapers in it, and who were looking at newspapers from 1907 in wonder and amazement. I like to think that Geronimo was looking at us in wonder and amazement, too, like we were a mystery hidden deep in the dirt of the earth — something he just didn’t get, something unknowable. nIllustration by Kristin Roskifte

    photographs by Lars Klove for the New York Times# Key September 2006A House Built on a Broken Home

    A scandal-filled issue of The San Francisco Chronicle from Jan. 30, 1907, that was

    found under the author’s basement floor — along with dirt, wood and

    other material unsuitable for anchoring a house to the hills of San Francisco.O.K., our house was built on dirt, but don’t

    you have to put a house on dirt? Isn’t

    dirt under everything? No one has been able

    to answer this for me. Daniel Handler writes novels under his own name and also as Lemony Snicket.# Key September 2006# Key September 2006

     

    Patricia Kennedy Lawford Dies at 82

    Bill Cunningham/The New York Times

    Patrica Kennedy Lawford in 1998.

    September 18, 2006

    Patricia Kennedy Lawford Dies at 82

    Correction Appended: For the Record

    Patricia Kennedy Lawford, who as a sister of President John F. Kennedy had a front row seat to history and forged new links between her brother’s administration and Hollywood through her marriage to the actor Peter Lawford, died yesterday at her home in Manhattan. She was 82 and also had a home in Southampton, N.Y.

    The cause was complications of pneumonia, said Melissa Wagoner, a spokeswoman for Senator Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts, Mrs. Lawford’s brother.

    Poised as a princess, athletic and lithe, Mrs. Lawford is widely remembered as the Roman Catholic schoolgirl who dismayed her domineering father, Joseph P. Kennedy, the former Ambassador to Britain, by marrying Mr. Lawford, a debonair British actor.

    Patricia Kennedy’s 1954 marriage to Mr. Lawford was the stuff of newsreels; some 3,000 spectators gathered outside St. Thomas More Roman Catholic Church on the Upper East Side.

    The sixth of nine children born to Joseph P. Kennedy and Rose Elizabeth Fitzgerald, Mrs. Lawford, like her siblings, had a well-honed understanding of politics and of the power of appearances. As early as 1946, she campaigned for her brother John during his first run for Congress, organizing highly effective women’s coffees in Boston and Cambridge neighborhoods, and when he ran for President in 1960 she often substituted at events for his pregnant wife, Jacqueline Kennedy.

    The Lawfords strengthened John F. Kennedy’s ties to the show business world of Hollywood and Las Vegas through Mr. Lawford’s association with “The Rat Pack” of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Joey Bishop and Shirley MacLaine.

    Through the years, Mrs. Lawford was close friends with Marilyn Monroe, Tennesee Williams, and Sinatra, for whom she partly named her daughter Victoria Frances.

    In 1966, after 11 years of marriage, Mrs. Lawford became the first Kennedy to file for a divorce. It was a highly publicized break, one that required Mrs. Lawford to establish residency in Idaho in order to circumvent New York’s divorce laws of the time.

    Afterward, Mrs. Lawford and her four children moved to New York, where she took on a busy social schedule, befriended artists and writers and became known as a generous benefactor of the arts. She was a familiar presence at benefit dinners and her patronage would increase the cachet of any fund-raising charity event. Her name still regularly appeared in the society columns of Palm Beach, New York and the Hamptons, where she maintained a residence.

    Patricia Kennedy was born on May 6, 1924, in Brookline, Mass., the fourth daughter of Joseph P. and Rose Kennedy and the granddaughter of John F. Fitzgerald, the popular mayor of Boston who had earlier served in the House of Representatives. Hers was a family that expected women to be graceful and well-rounded while remaining in the background, quietly serving the ambitions of their men. Of the five Kennedy sisters, she was considered the most beautiful and sophisticated, with the aristocratic air of her mother. She was an accomplished athlete but unlike her ambitious siblings, she never caught the family’s legendary fire for competition.

    In her book 1987 book, “The Fitzgeralds and the Kennedys,” Doris Kearns Goodwin wrote that Rose Kennedy was bothered by Patricia’s lack of ambition. “Although she had a good mind, a fine physique and a beautiful face which could easily have led her to excel in school, in sports or in appearance, Rose contended ‘she would never make the effort to achieve distinction’ in any of these areas.”

    Much like her older sister, Kathleen, who made her mother furious by marrying outside her church, Patricia disappointed her parents by marrying Mr. Lawford, a nominal Episcopalian who agreed to raise their childen as Catholics.

    Mrs. Lawford was the only Kennedy to move away from the family’s traditional East Coast settings of Hyannis Port, Palm Beach and New York. She and Mr. Lawford settled into a sprawling mansion in Malibu that was once owned by Louis B. Mayer. The house became a recreation center for other family members, and the President would spend time lounging at his sister’s pool when he was on the West Coast.

    After the assassination of President Kennedy in 1963, she was often seen in the company of his widow and their two children. As recently as 1986, she joined Senator Kennedy on an official visit to Chile that was marred by egg-throwing protestors angered by Mr. Kennedy’s criticism of President Augusto Pinochet.

    She devoted her energies to organizations that served the mentally disabled and those helping people with substance abuse problems. She had a close personal appreciation for both causes: her older sister Rosemary was born mildly retarded and was lobotomized at 23, and she, Mr. Lawford and her son Christopher had waged their own battles with drugs and alcohol.

    Her brother Robert, the former attorney general and later senator from New York, was closest to her in age, just 18 months younger. After his assassination in 1968, Mrs. Lawford assembled a privately printed book of reminiscences about him, as John had done before about the oldest brother, Joe, who died in World War II.

    Her book, “That Shining Hour,” was published in 1969. In her introduction, she wrote “This is not a sad book. Bobby was not a sad person. His basic shyness to the outside world gave way to fun, humor and wit whenever he was with the family.”

    In addition to her brother Edward and two of her sisters, Jean Kennedy Smith and Eunice Kennedy Shriver, Mrs. Lawford is survived by her son, Christopher, of California, and three daughters, Sydney, of Washington, Robin, of New York, and Victoria Frances, of Washington, and 10 grandchildren.

    Correction: Sept. 19, 2006

    An obituary in some copies yesterday about Patricia Kennedy Lawford, a sister of President John F. Kennedy, misstated the location of her death. It was at her home in Manhattan, not her home in Southampton, N.Y. The article also erroneously included a survivor; her sister Rosemary Kennedy died last year. The obituary also misstated the place of residence of Mrs. Lawford’s son, Christopher. He lives in California, not New York. A full obituary appears today on page B8.


     

    A Passion for Property

    September 7, 2006    
    Lisa Ke
    September 10, 2006
    On the Homefront

    A Passion for Property

    We all know the meaning of home, the longing for a durable habitation — shelter from the storms of life — that is bred into our bones. Home, be it ever so humble or grand, has proverbially been a man’s castle and a woman’s refuge, offering up a haven in a heartless world, an anchor for the restive and the domesticated alike. No wonder that the adorable little alien E.T. wanted ever so badly to get back to it, even though his “home” happened to be around the corner in outer space. Or that Dorothy yearned with all her might to return to the family farmhouse in Kansas. As the French philosopher Gaston Bachelard observed in his book “The Poetics of Space,” the “virtues of shelter are so simple, so deeply rooted in our unconscious,” that houses can be said to stand in for the poetic imagination itself. They serve as the embodiments of our inner life, Bachelard wrote, containers for fancies: “the house shelters daydreaming, the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace.”

    Or so at least used to be the case, before our collective relationship with the idea of home changed — gradually at first, as is the way of all such cultural shifts, and then ever more strikingly — into something other than it once was, something charged with an almost sexualized power, suffused with an insatiable quality of appetite. These days, it would appear that the image of home, our own solitary home, no longer suffices to hold our imaginations. Sometime during the past 10 years, beginning around the dot-com boom, we have — whether as studio dwellers or longtime renters, co-op board members or condo subletters, inhabitants of the suburbs or the cities — become, in the phrase of the Edwardian novelist John Galsworthy, men and women of property, both real and theoretical. We have, regardless of our occupations and other interests, been infected with Real Estate Lust, a condition whose symptoms include a compulsive scanning of real estate ads and an incessant discussion of who paid what for how much, as well as a fascination with the size and shape — down to the number of bedrooms, closets and bathroom windows — of apartments and houses that belong to people other than ourselves. We have wandered out when no one was looking to play in fields of ever-greater square footage, pursuing McMansion visions, getting caught up in the mindset not of proprietary homeowners but of acquisitive real estate agents and developers.

    You don’t, I might add, have to be Ronald O. Perelman or some other avatar of “luxury fever” to spend fortunes in time and money on gutting an existing house and planning a new one. My dentist, a hard-working professional as well as a devoted wife and mother of two small children, whom I’ve had cause to visit with alarming frequency in the past few years, has entertained me with tales of demolishing and rebuilding her Brooklyn house — bought 10 years ago but still undergoing the final touches as of August — throughout this period. She speaks familiarly of her architect and her contractor, can expound at length on the differences between satin-nickel finish and stainless steel and is ready to explain at a moment’s notice why she opted for a Thermidor rather than a Sub-Zero refrigerator. Beyond all this, she recently revealed to me her secret desire, if her finances would allow for it, to acquire another house that has come available nearby and go through the whole process again, this time with renters in mind. One day, while I am sitting in the chair waiting for a shot of Novocaine to take effect, I hear the following advertisement come over the soft jazz station that my dentist’s radio is set to: “There’s nothing I like better,” observes a smooth feminine voice against the sound of yelps and splashes, suggestive of a pool filled with happy kids, “than relaxing in my hammock and getting a quick approval on a home-equity loan.”

    For evidence that the buying and selling of homes has become the ultimate postmodern spectator sport — a form of yuppie pornography, a voyeuristic diversion from the quotidian — you need only take a walk along Main Street in Southampton one evening sometime between late May and the beginning of September. On the east side of the street is the Fudge Company, where couples with young children go for frozen yogurt and penny candy; on the west side is Sant Ambroeus, which hawks gelato. If you stroll south on Main Street you can’t help spotting the crowd with ice cream cones milling in front of Engel & Völkers. On view in the window of this local real estate agency are photographs and prices of various properties — including, as of the first weekend in August, a villa in Phuket, Thailand, for 831,450 euros; an estate in nearby Watermill with a six-bedroom house for $7,999,000; and an “English” mansion in the village of Southampton (which means no water views) for $18,500,000 with nine bedrooms and nine full baths. Also up for sale are apartments in Palma de Mallorca (with sea views!), Budapest and Cyprus. There is a murmur among the crowd, a running commentary of surprise or indignation or awe about this or that offering, as if everyone were at least engaged in serious thought about the possibility of acquiring one or another residence. After a while the crowd moves on, having had its fill of the night’s entertainment, and another crowd forms in its place.

    This contemporary obsession with real estate — less a private passion than a public rite of passage — begins disconcertingly young: my 16-year-old daughter is an avid fan of “MTV Cribs,” a reality show that brings you into the domiciles of young music stars and extreme athletes. (The occupants serve as dazed tour guides of their own homes, rather like Jacqueline Kennedy walking the TV cameras through the newly remodeled White House, except for the fact that these showplaces are usually minimally or casually decorated at best, featuring glossy kitchens filled with either no food or junk food and carpeted living expanses outfitted with king-size beds, sectional sofas and humongous plasma screens everywhere.) Thanks to her television habit, my daughter was inducted into the social significance of ZIP codes (“90210″) and the importance of location (“The OC,” “Laguna Beach”) in a way that didn’t hit me until I was much older. And although she is the least snobbish of creatures, she unfailingly points out that her bedroom, fronting as it does on the back wall of another building, is dark even in the daytime. What it lacks, in other words, is a view, but then again so does every other room in my apartment.

    The facts that I myself grew up in a bedroom without a view — a bedroom that I shared with two sisters — and that my parents’ abode was entirely viewless were not realities that occurred to me with any vividness until fairly recently. Then again, I came of age in a time before the real estate bug had bit. When I was growing up, people who owned buildings (or even a single building) seemed slightly questionable if not outright shifty. They were generally treated as being outside the boundaries of the upstanding professions, like the moist-palmed slumlord father (reputed to deal in dirty books as well as unfit buildings) of the girl in my high-school class who always had suspicious wads of cash on her, as if she had been handed someone’s ruthlessly extracted rent money to spend on after-school snacks.

    Then, too, the ins and outs of the recent purchases and sales of homes by friends and strangers weren’t yet considered to be a hot dinnertime topic, nor was the abstract subject of real estate itself invested with potent symbolism for anyone other than Monopoly addicts. Unlike the consumer population portrayed in Michael J. Silverstein and Neil Fiske’s “Trading Up,” a 2003 study of the lure of luxury goods, for whom a home reflects “attitudes about living, raising a family, social interaction, personal style and taste, and accomplishment,” my parents’ choice of residence (a Park Avenue duplex, which sounds more impressive than it was, especially after you factor in an extra room, known as the “study,” for my father, which left two bedrooms for me and my five siblings, one for the boys and the other for the girls) primarily reflected their wish to be near one set of in-laws and an Orthodox synagogue. I’ll never forget how disappointing my friend the writer Anatole Broyard (who, I realize in hindsight, suffered from a precursory case of Real Estate Lust) found my parents’ apartment when he paid me a visit there one Saturday afternoon while I was recuperating from an illness. “Why, this isn’t grand at all,” he announced in his husky voice, having cast an assessing eye around the foyer and living room.

    Although my parents owned their apartment as well as a summer house an hour out of the city in unchic Atlantic Beach, they did not appear to take these as benchmarks of adulthood or signifiers of material security. For the longest time my father was a firm believer that rentals were sufficient for those of his six offspring who lived on their own, with or without spouses and children. His view on this — he would have warmed to the title of Tolstoy’s fable “How Much Land Does a Man Need?” had he been familiar with it — changed only after the rental market exploded in the 80′s, when contributing to the purchase of places for his children and grandchildren to lay their heads seemed like the financially expedient thing to do.

    How, you might be wondering, did “home sweet home” turn into “real estate sweet real estate”? When, that is, did we all turn into versions of Sinclair Lewis’s Babbitt, trained assessors of other people’s private spaces for all their commercial potential? Perhaps it’s not so surprising, given how deeply the roots of our romance with property are embedded in our national character. “Space as resource is a cultural appraisal,” Yi-Fu Tuan, a geographer, notes in his book “Space and Place.” He expatiates on this idea a few sentences later: “Level of aspiration clearly affects one’s sense of spatial adequacy. Aspiration is culturally conditioned.” And he goes on to point out: “Traditional China, for instance, had many small landlords who were content to live off their rents and enjoy their leisure rather than work and invest their income in enlarging their holdings. In capitalist Western societies, aspiration and entrepreneurial spirit have been and are much stronger.”

    In the end, of course, it is not all that strange that the once déclassé and uncompelling business of real estate has become the dominant form of psychic tourism (see how they bathe, eat, carpet their bedrooms, tile their kitchens and grout their tubs), one that has beat out the other standards against which people measure the content and quality of their own lives and the inner lives of others. Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that the narratives of other people’s lives — the improbable mix of desires and needs that give texture to the generic plot of “he was born, he lived and then he died” — are most accessible to us through their homes. So it turns out that X can’t exist, despite his modest presentation, without a wine cellar; whereas Y, so imperious in other ways, has a bedroom that doubles as an office. It is as if we have come to understand spiritual depth or moral value only when it is written up as an architectural blueprint, expressed in square feet, ceiling heights and the level of fixtures.

    George Sand once said that people could be classified according to whether they aspired to live in a cottage or in a palace. But that was another time, more uncertain in some ways and clearer in others, when the class system was still rigidly intact and people of all classes saw their earthly domains as no more than a temporary address on the way to a final destination. These days, without a strong religious conviction to gird our increasingly buffeted sense of self in an ever more commodified society, our home — whether cottage or palace or something in between — has come to count for too much and may be mistaken for the only structural testament to our having passed this way at all. In this regard, the fixation with property and the unbounded lebensraum (“bigger is better”) impulse that currently informs so much of our attitude toward home might be better understood as a grandiose defense against the apprehension of our own insignificance than as a genuine conviction of our inestimable value. We are no more landlords of our fate than we ever were, much though we may have increased our sense of being overseers of our own — and everyone else’s — earthly estate. These days, when I think of Dorothy or E.T. aching to go home, I envision them opening their front doors just long enough to park their suitcases before they rush to check their local real estate pages — poring over listings of homes that belong to other people and might someday belong to them, certifying that they have made a dent on this imperviously spinning planet we inhabit with borrowed sovereignty and the poignant but necessary illusion of permanence.

    Daphne Merkin is a contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine.

  • Today Show

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    READY, SET, GO AT ‘TODAY’


  • Salon Fix

    Salon FixSep 18, ’06 6:29 PM
    for everyone
    FixRNC going after Rosie? Spears names new son. Plus: Charlie Sheen, “greatest horndog of his generation.”

    Sep. 18, 2006 | Morning Briefing:
    GOP trying to muzzle Rosie? Over at her blog Deadline Hollywood, Nikki Finke reports that the Republican National Committee’s (maddeningly unreadable) Web site is out for Rosie O’Donnell’s blood, perhaps signaling the beginning of some kind of campaign against the new “View” co-host. Under a headline “Dems’ ‘Rosie’ view on the war on terror. Cut-and-run Defeatocrats across the country take their cues from Hollywood friends and advisors,” the site lists O’Donnell’s recent antiwar quotes from the show, followed by a list of her 2006 campaign contributions. “Clearly,” writes Finke, “the GOP’s intent is to get ABC to fire newcomer-to-the-network, O’Donnell, or, barring that, muzzle her.” (Deadline Hollywood Daily)

    Second autopsy for Anna Nicole’s son: Another autopsy in the mysterious death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son, Daniel, has failed to reveal a clear cause of death. After Bahamian doctors were unable to declare a definitive reason for the 20-year-old’s sudden collapse last week, the family asked for celebrity forensic pathologist Cyril Wecht, famous for his inquiries into John F. Kennedy’s assassination and Elvis Presley’s death, to investigate. “I don’t find anything that would cause me to believe there is something in terms of some traumatic injury that was inflicted, or somebody having done something to him in some cryptic manner that could not be observed,” Wecht told reporters on Sunday. (Associated Press)

    Another S.P. Spears: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have settled on a name for their newborn son — despite rumors that they’d be going with Jailynn, a mix of Spears’ parents’ names, they’ve settled on Sutton Pierce, not to be confused with the name of their 1-year-old son, Sean Preston. (People, Lowdown)

    Also:
    Lindsay Lohan was taken to the hospital on Friday in New York after falling and breaking her wrist at a Fashion Week party. Her rep says there’s an “investigation pending” into the accident, claiming that the hosts may have been negligent in taking care of the slick and potentially dangerous surface on which Lohan slipped. (TMZ) … Reality TV bounty hunter Duane “Dog” Chapman was released on $300,000 bail on Friday after being arrested in connection with kidnapping charges related to his high-profile 2003 capture of Max Factor cosmetics heir Andrew Luster in Mexico. (People) … It was another slow weekend at the box office — the Rock’s “Gridiron Gang” took the top place with $15 million, and Brian De Palma’s “The Black Dahlia,” despite featuring Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson, made the No. 2 spot with just $10.4 million. (Associated Press) … HBO has renewed “The Wire” for a fifth season, despite weak numbers for the Season 4 premiere last Sunday — it attracted only 1.5 million viewers. (Post Chronicle) … The $3.5 million makeover of the “Today” show” set — unveiled last week with the arrival of Meredith Vieira — hasn’t gone over too well with Vieira and co-host Matt Lauer. “They’re fuming that it’s too big,” a source tells Page Six. “It just swallows them up, and it looks something like a hospital wing. Both Meredith and Matt Lauer have complained about it, so there are going to be changes.” (Page Six)

    Money Quote:
    Alec Baldwin, trying to defend buddy Charlie Sheen from Denise Richards’ accusations that he likes barely legal porn: “Charlie Sheen may be one of the great horndogs of his generation, but he is not a pedophile.” (GQ via Page Six)

    Turn On:
    Monday night marks the debut of Aaron Sorkin’s new show, “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” (NBC, 10 p.m. EDT), and there are season premieres galore: “Deal or No Deal” (NBC, 9 p.m. EDT), “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS, 8:30 p.m. EDT), “Two and a Half Men” (CBS, 9 p.m. EDT), “The New Adventures of Old Christine” (CBS, 9:30 p.m. EDT) and “CSI: Miami” (CBS, 10 p.m. EDT). On HBO, Barry Goldwater’s granddaughter looks back at the 1964 presidential election in the documentary “Mr. Conservative: Goldwater on Goldwater” (HBO, 9 p.m. EDT).

    On the Talk Shows:
    Larry King (CNN, 9 p.m. EDT): Rachael Ray
    Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings): Newsweek editor Jon Meacham
    David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Dr. Phil McGraw, ventriloquist Willie Tyler and Lester, “Survivor” castoff Sekou Bunch
    Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT): Jason Lee, Elton John
    Conan O’Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Gisele Bundchen, Madeleine Peyroux
    Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Edward Norton, Ethan Suplee, LeToya
    Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, 12:05 a.m. EDT): Tyra Banks, Jason Statham, Papa Roach (repeat)
    Jon Stewart (Comedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT): former President Bill Clinton
    Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Will Power

    – Scott Lamb

    Get more of the Fix here.

  • Jim Carrey Fires Long-Time UTA and Long-Loyal Nick Stevens.

    Jim Carrey Fires Long-Time UTA and Long-Loyal Nick Stevens. “The Fix Is In” For CAA To Sign Jim.Sep 18, ’06 7:25 PM
    for everyone

    UPDATED: Jim Carrey Fires Long-Time UTA and Long-Loyal Nick Stevens. “The Fix Is In” For CAA To Sign Jim. But Nick Gave Ari Advice On How To Bag Carrey

    2nd UPDATE: Two Jim Carrey meetings this coming week: Endeavor and CAA. 

    UPDATE: *My phone has been ringing off the hook this morning. I’m told that manager Jimmy Miller called UTA’s Nick Stevens on a cell phone to fire him as Jim Carrey’s 15-year-long agent. No face-to-face meeting. No opportunity to look anyone in the eye. The phone call came the day after a screening of Carrey’s new movie The Number 23 went badly. Immediately, I hear, UTA realized “that the fix was in” for Carrey to sign with CAA, where one of Carrey’s managers, Eric Gold, just X’ed on the dotted line as an exclusive client, and where the other manager, Jimmy Miller, has steered most of his clients. But here’s the juiciest part: I’m told that Nick Stevens, in a last-ditch bid to foil CAA’s chances of bagging Carrey, actually called up rival Ari Emanuel of Endeavor and gave him pointers on how to sign the actor if his agency scores a meeting. Emanuel and Miller are tight, and Endeavor handles Miller clients Sacha Baron Cohen and Adam McKay, among others. For some time now, CAA has been after another Stevens’ client, Judd Apatow, who also is managed by Miller — to the point of promising “there’s $400 million out there for you to make movies.” (Hear that, CAA client Tom Cruise? You and your producing partner Paula Wagner only received a two-year development deal pittance from that investment partnership headed up by Daniel Snyder  — and for it you are showing up with your family at Six Flags, Redskins football games, and other Snyder toys. Kinda humiliating.)*
    Some further updates mixed in below… 

    So I’m told that Jim Carrey has fired United Talent Agency. Few agents have ever worked harder for a client than Nick Stevens did for Carrey for seemingly eons (some 15 years). Carrey will stay with long-time manager Jimmy Miller, who recently split up with partner Eric Gold. (OK, I know they both manage him, but how that’s going to work when they’re at different companies, even if they’re in the same building on different floors, is beyond me.) Together with Stevens, the three-member Team Carrey, as they called themselves, were known for their strategic planning and savvy deal-making that saw Carrey jump from earning a few hundred thousand dollars for Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, to being offered an Industry record of $20 million for The Cable Guy 18 months later. In turn, Carrey gave back, even one year buying the trio spankin’ new Porsches after the success of How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

    Nick has devoted a huge part of his life to Jim (agent and client have homes something like 600 yards from one another, and Carrey was treated like part of Stevens’ immediate family), and this is a sad, sad, day in the annals of agenting because Stevens did nothing wrong. Let me repeat that: nothing wrong. After absorbing this shocker, some Hollywood types insisted to me (and still do) that Carrey has not chosen another agency, but that might just be wishful thinking. I’m told he’ll be on his way to CAA. This follows a similar move by his pal, director Jay Roach, who left ICM for CAA just a few days earlier and is also managed by Miller. Earlier, Will Farrell left UTA for CAA to follow his agents there, and he, too, is managed by Miller. Uh, get the picture? On the other hand, Miller is tight with Endeavor’s Ari Emanuel, who would move heaven and earth to bag Carrey (and is probably doing so right now). Meanwhile, let’s not forget that Carrey nearly signed with CAA after he became a breakout star on Fox’ Living Color. But that agency demanded to rep the actor’s entire biz — the TV show as well as his successful stand-up – and not just movies. But Nick Stevens believed in Carrey’s talent so much that the agent was fine just handling Jim for movies. So, in the middle of the night, Carrey changed his mind and signed with Stevens. 

    In any case, Carrey is a handful: he requires someone with an advanced degree in bizarre personalities. So much has never come out publicly about Carrey’s behavior: for instance, the fact that Jim signed on to Dreamworks’ Over The Hedge and spent considerable time in the booth until, I’m told, “he couldn’t bear the process.” Understandably, some threats of a lawsuit were thrown around by Jeffrey Katzenberg, who ultimately replaced Carrey with Bruce Willis. And I hear it took almost round-the-clock cajoling by everyone on all sides of the project just to get Carrey to keep going much less finish Sony’s Fun With Dick and Jane.

    Carrey is also a phenomenal talent, yet he’s had many ups and downs at the box office (especially in pics where he’s not clowning) over the years. But his uneven career suffered a huge setback in May when 20th Century Fox and Sony Pictures pulled the plug on the movie Used Guys. Carrey and Ben Stiller — whom Stevens also reps — were to star, and Roach (of Austin Powers and Meet the Parents fame) set to direct. The reason for the cancellation was that the budget had crept up to $112 million even though gobs of money already had been spent, sets were ready in Santa Fe, and all was on track for production to start on what seemed to be a can’t-lose project from the reigning superstars of comedy. On the other hand, Used Guys was about to be one of the most expensive original comedies ever made.

    As media reported at the time, in an industry with crushing marketing costs and Triple-A stars taking a huge chunk of every ticket sale (first dollar gross, in most cases), the studio decided the math didn’t add up, to the surprise of filmmakers who were on the verge of shooting. Hollywood thought Carrey might leave UTA because of this, but he stayed put. Now that’s he’s left, the pressure will be on UTA to merge with another agency. After once having a lock on movie comedy, UTA within the past 18 months has lost too many agents and clients to CAA, which continues on its quest to represent all of Hollywood. That means UTA needs to do a deal sooner rather than later with either Endeavor, ICM or Morris. So does Endeavor, in my opinion, with UTA, ICM or Morris.

    This is going to be a growing problem for agencies now that the studios are trying to shut down the percentage of box office revenues that big stars command. Example: at an over-$100 million budget, the talent is making $60 million before the studio can recoup its costs. To the studios, the economics of that make no sense. It remains to be seen, for instance, whether Paramount will get Carrey’s postponed Ripley’s Believe It Or Not off the ground because that movie, too, has a too-big budget. Especially after Carrey read the script and decided it wasn’t “unbelievable” enough and sent it back into development. On the one hand, it’s an agent’s job to try to get as much money for clienta as possible. (And Stevens has always negotiated top dollar for his stars.) But it’s also hard for an agent to explain to actors accustomed to receiving $15+ mil a picture that they’re going to have to take an upfront pay cut even though they’re still drawing audiences. On Used Guys, I’m told Carrey went from pay or play $20 mil down to $13.5 mil, and still the studio wouldn’t do the pic.

    I know that Nick Stevens was personally and professionally devastated when Carrey lost the Used Guys project, and I can’t imagine anyone else doing a better job of agenting for the actor in that situation or throughout his career. Stevens went to the mat with the studios again and again. The New York Times‘ Sharon Waxman wrote an in-depth story on the Used Cars debacle that showed just that. There, Roach and the stars of Used Guys had already sharply cut both their upfront fees and their expected participation in revenue. Even so, the compromise meant that the three principals would take 27 percent of the studio’s gross box-office revenues. Carrey’s next project is The Number 23 teaming him with director Joel Schumacher for New Line, which made the comic’s breakout hit The Mask. Carrey also is voicing the title character in Horton Hears A Who, Fox’s CGI animated adaptation of Dr. Seuss.

    (I had this three hours earlier, but site technical difficulties plaguing DHD in recent days prevented me from posting…)

    Previous: NYT: Studios Pull Plug On $112 Mil Jim Carrey/Ben Stiller Comedy

  • PLANNING WITH PURPOSE

    - PLANNING WITH PURPOSE
    Current mood: creative
    Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

     

     

    APQ SUMMARY:  Please add MAKE A DIFFERENCE to your friends and some ideas to get you started. Each “COUNT ME IN” links to the blog to be counted in. Each “MAKE A DIFFERENCE” links to add us as a friend. We are doing our best to make this easy for everyone, especially you.   

     

     

    If you have not received the memo, there are some wonderful folks in MySpace. As of today, we have 117 friends and 21 pending requests for those who have said “COUNT ME IN” but had not sent us friend requests yet. We are working very hard to stay proactive and aware. In other words, if you say “COUNT ME IN” and get a friend invite, expect an invitation from us if we do not hear from you first.

     

    Subtracting our three personal profiles, math indicates 135 people have quickly committed to taking part in MAKE A DIFFERENCE on October 28, 2006.  Thanks to each and every one of you. Each time you post our banner, a blog or a bulletin, angels smile. All kinds, not just us!!! It truly gives us more energy for the task at hand to have your support!

     

    For anyone who has not been around the past few days, here is the deal. MAKE A DIFFERENCE DAY is the most encompassing national day of helping others — a celebration of neighbors helping neighbors.   On Saturday, October 28, 2006 we are gathering friends across the country to go out and MAKE A DIFFERENCE.  Beginning at 6 pm that night, we would like for everyone to post a MAKE A DIFFERENCE blog about their experience.

     

    You may join now, next week or wake up on October 28 and decide at the last minute you feel like doing something and taking part.  It is never too late to join our efforts.  EVERYONE is welcome and encouraged to participate. We will not leave any MySpacer behind!

     

    Your MAKE A DIFFERENCE project can be as big or small as you wish. We have all come up with our own lists of ideas to help get you started. Remember, it is not nearly as important if you help one person or a thousand, all that matters is that you MAKE A DIFFERENCE!


    Here are a few ideas to get you started:

    ~ Check out www.makeadifferenceday.org for their idea-generator!

    ~Learn about existing efforts in your area and joining larger public service agencies in their plans.   

                                            

    ~ Bake cookies for a friend, neighbor or public service agency. Policemen and Firefighters are worthy of your cookies!

    ~ Offer to run errands for someone who is homebound.

    ~ Collect and donate clothes, books or toys to a local church or homeless shelter. The kiddos and I are starting this Saturday.

    ~ Visit someone in a retirement home

    ~ Host a book reading for children at your local library.

    ~ Plant flowers or a tree in your neighborhood.

    ~ Pay for the meal of the person behind you in a drive-through.

    ~ Organize a neighborhood clean up project. Paint over graffiti, pick up trash or just mow a neighbor’s lawn.

    ~ Donate blood or register with the National Bone Marrow registry.

    ~ Spend the day volunteering at a non-profit organization like the American Red Cross or Special Olympics.

    ~ Include your children and invite their friends to join you

    ~Use your artistic talents to entertain or benefit sick children.

    ~Smile at every stranger

    ~Write at least one letter to someone who has made a huge difference in your life, especially if they have no clue they did so!

    ~Make cards or send care packages to troops overseas

     

    Kevin  plans to honor the memory of his sister, Tammy, and her battle with HIV/AIDS that took her life last October b y getting involved with an HIV/AIDS Friends for Life event . Neo~The Goodly Witch is honoring her mother’s battle with cancer for part of her efforts. For some, doing something that personal may be “too much”. For others, doing something extremely personal makes giving more worthwhile. Whatever is in your heart, in your capacity and within your power, we just hope you do it!

     

    What are some of your other ideas?    

    Could each one of you encourage a friend who is NOT participating to do so?  

     

    Ruby of the Day…..Click here for a Real Gem 

    53 Comments – 36 Kudos – Add Comment


    Listing 1-50 of 531  2  of 2Next >
    neo~the goodly witch~

    I was doing that in my planning blog, directing people to activities

    You know I am always up to be a cheerleader for love!

    Posted by neo~the goodly witch~ on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 6:02 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    Oh, yes…I KNOW…I just have to be very careful about saying I am a cheerleader of love.

    Seems men have this fantasy involving my old uniform! 

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:26 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Vic

    Hi, Carol!!!

    Posted by Vic on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 5:14 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Don’t You Wish Your Husband Was HOT like ME

    My contribution to this is probably going to end up being as simple as paying for the person behind me’s food at a drive thru, time doesn’t let me get much deeper than that at the moment. I have posted a bulletin about it and have been talking to both my myspace and non myspace friends (I know, hard to believe that there are people who don’t have a profile on here) about it…. Maybe I’ll have some stories from them to relate as well.

    Posted by Don’t You Wish Your Husband Was HOT like ME on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 6:21 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    Blayne, I caught your bulletin around 4 am…THANK YOU! And you know what…it’s taking the two minutes to do ANYTHING for someone else that matters most.  No matter how busy all of our lives may be, I think we can all afford two minutes of our time and five bucks, give or take!

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:28 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Don’t You Wish Your Husband Was HOT like ME

    That’s the way my thought train runs too. Sometimes it is the smallest things that make the biggest impact.

    Posted by Don’t You Wish Your Husband Was HOT like ME on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 11:45 AM
    [Reply to this]

    My world of 13

    I still don’t know what I’m going to do…kinda leaning toward either doing the cookies for fire fighters/police in my hometown thing or maybe I might rent a spacewalk for the day and let the neighborhood kids play in it……I just don’t know yet!

    I am almost finished with my cajun expressions blog! Just to let you know!!

    Posted by My world of 13 on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 6:37 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Evil Genius

    Policemen love cookies.

    They love them even more when delivered by ladies in stockings and an overcoat…and nothing else.

    Posted by Evil Genius on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 3:26 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    MA…see, I love you so much I went to your blog before my own. I went for the SCUBA blog, and stayed for some cajun learning, MA CHER!!!! 

     

     

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:29 AM
    [Reply to this]

    My world of 13

    I appreciate it, but you didn’t have to!!!

     

    to give you fair warning, my next blog will prolly be about Studly McStudly(my friend Kay’s nickname for the young’en!!!LOL)

    Posted by My world of 13 on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 10:36 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Cap’n Squish

    AWWWW!  I LOVE the spacewalk idea!  If the Husky rescue place doesn’t work out, I may steal it!

    Posted by Cap’n Squish on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 8:29 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Living ViKARRIously



    Who wouldn’t want to rescue a face like this?

    Posted by Living ViKARRIously on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 10:28 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Cap’n Squish

    I LOVE THEM SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!

    People dump them everywhere!  They’re super high energy and high maintainence down here in the heat, so once they’re past the cute cuddly puppy stage, people just dump them anywhere they can. :(   Poor babies.  I’m hoping to get permission in the next couple days for it and that at least a couple people start the steps to adopt one while we’re there.  I have to wait til I’m out of my current apartment, but then I will have one too!  <3

    Posted by Cap’n Squish on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 2:14 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Evil Genius

    I’m pretty sure that’s the dog that bit me, foiling my last world domination scheme.

    If you see him again I want his address!

    Posted by Evil Genius on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 3:28 PM
    [Reply to this]

    My world of 13

    AWWWW, see, now you are gonna make me want to go get a puppy!!!!!

    Posted by My world of 13 on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 10:34 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    I loved the idea of helping animals!!! Adopt a pet like Neo, your Husky idea, just petting rescued animals and showing some love. We can all use some cuddling!!! 

     

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:31 AM
    [Reply to this]

    My world of 13

    FEEL FREE!!!!!  but shhhhh, don’t tell anybody, I really just wanted to jump in one again!! LMAO!!!!

    Posted by My world of 13 on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 8:37 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    I am including some pics from the Bounce Factory in tomorrows blog! Not much beats playing in a bouncy castle with some kiddos!

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:32 AM
    [Reply to this]

    My world of 13

    OK GiGi….here is the link to my NEW blog: CAJUN TERMS

    Posted by My world of 13 on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 8:48 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    DO DO FAISON….rock the clock after the MA CHER BA BEES hit the hay…or something like that! I loved it! 

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:33 AM
    [Reply to this]

    My world of 13

    Tu petite fils alle’ do do. Tu petite garcon c’est d’ecole primaire.

     

    See, I knew more than I thought I did!!! HAHAHAHA

    Posted by My world of 13 on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 10:55 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Kare Bear (Bizarre Athos)

    I don’t know what I want to do yet, I wanted to volunteer at a Suicide hotline, but there are none in my area!  Maybe I ought to look into changing that? 

    Posted by Kare Bear (Bizarre Athos) on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 6:44 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Evil Genius

    I can call your area like fifteen times threatening to kill myself.  Maybe they will implement one.

    OK that’s only like…75% funny.

    All right…77%.

    Posted by Evil Genius on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 3:28 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    Check on line for the National Suicide hotline. I think they have ways you can get involved!

    I loved our talk last night. I am STILL laughing!

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:34 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Kare Bear (Bizarre Athos)

    And your laugh is Amazing!

    Posted by Kare Bear (Bizarre Athos) on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 12:30 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Rockatansky96

    These are all good and I like them. Thanks.

    Posted by Rockatansky96 on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 6:50 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    Since you do so much for your dad…you may even want to do something focused on children…to get completely outside of yourself. Regardless, we LOVE your support and appreciate you! 

    Let us know what we can do to help in your efforts!

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:35 AM
    [Reply to this]

    APQ

    send me the damn html code for your banner and I’ll write something about it.

    Posted by APQ on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 6:56 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    MICHELLE…YOU ROCK!!! NOT only did I get my Number One Spot back on your friends list, you put MAKE A DIFFERENCE as Number Two! 

    Dammit, I knew you loved me!  I sent you an email with the code. What time you going back to the doc?

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:38 AM
    [Reply to this]

    APQ

    I go back to the doctor tomorrow am so I’ll post a blog then.

     

    by the way: my account has been flagged (again) so I can’t reply to email until they are done reviewing my account.

    Posted by APQ on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 10:03 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    I will give you a quick call after naptime.

    I love naptime. I will miss this time with Sass when I go back to work. For today and everyday until then,I am just going to soak her up! 

     

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 10:13 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Carollynn

    not sure yet what I am going to do as I’m moving but I like all the ideas so far. Looking forward to it though!

    Posted by Carollynn on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 7:09 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    Pick one or two that are easier to fit into your new environment. Baking some cookies (or even buying them..) and taking them to a local police or fire station is a great way to say HELLO and THANK YOU!!! 

     

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:39 AM
    [Reply to this]

    I Love You Too

    I really dig that last banner on the bottom. Where can I go to get that one? Is it right infront of me and Im just missing it as usual. :) If the code isnt posted anywhere can you sent it to me? Thanks Carol! Have a great day! HUGS!

    Posted by I Love You Too on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 7:16 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    Kathy, anything you can do to help us encourage more participation would be very much appreciated! I sent you an email.  The codes for all three are in that one email. Let me know if you have any questions. 

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:41 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Cap’n Squish

    I’m trying to organize people into going down to the Husky rescue to volunteer for the day.  Walking, grooming, bathing, etc.  If everything goes according to plan, more than one dog will find a new owner that day. :)   The problem is that is the weekend before Halloween and a LOT of people already have things going on, so we’ll see what happens.

    Posted by Cap’n Squish on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 8:32 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    I love the idea of the Husky Rescue. Kids and Pets…surefire ways to melt my heart!!! 

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:42 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Eargasm

    I met blood parasite patient the other day whos got about a week to live and just wants to shag one last time. Would compromising my celebacy for anothers dying wish, be a good deed?

    Posted by Eargasm on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:20 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    You know however I answer this question will come back to smack my glorious ass!!!

    My answer…I would not be guilted into ANYTHING. I would make a choice TRUE TO YOU!!!!

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 9:44 AM
    [Reply to this]

    Evil Genius

    We could always compromise someone ELSE’s celibacy.

    No, for once I am not volunteering.  I am just sayin.  

    Posted by Evil Genius on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 3:36 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Zoe Lady

    This is such a beautiful idea! I’m so glad that you have set this up!

    I already smile at strangers, and send packages to troops, so I don’t think it would count since I already do those things. So, my friend Mark (he’s an avian vet….bird Dr.) and I have set up a program to teach kids to train dogs, than have them volunteer at their local shelters. Dogs get trained, kids learn a new skill, it’s win/win.

    We were in the middle of setting it up before this, but now we’ve put it as a top priority project. We already have 6 volunteer students. We will top out at 10.

    Posted by Zoe Lady on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 12:42 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    Zoe, you and I have exhanged enough emails that we know we are alot alike in our daily philosophy. I still think those things count.  Your program is AMAZING…wow! I think it’s fantastic because not only is it a WIN-WIN..it is a skill that the kids do carry forward. 

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 1:22 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Zoe Lady

     

    Posted by Zoe Lady on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 1:45 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Evil Genius

    No!  I cannot stand my neighbors!  If they are not actively stalking me, then they are calling the police to come harrass me and my zombie army.

    I used to have a mummy army but that mermaid beyotch stole it.

    Either way my neighbors suck.  Now if some hot neighbors move in before the 28th you can count me in…and I do mean “in.”

    Posted by Evil Genius on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 1:05 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    Somebody *cough* Evil Genius was out in the field all night and has come home quasi crazy.   If Taya took your mummies, I’m sure your zombies will give her a run for their money. 

    You are so in. More than you know.

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 1:24 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Evil Genius

    The last time I was in more than I knew she started screaming.

    Posted by Evil Genius on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 3:42 PM
    [Reply to this]

    TheWizzz

    Yeaaaaaaaaa, Love.

    Posted by TheWizzz on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 1:14 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Burst my Bubble

    Charles…no more updates from me for the next week…I believe the next one is coming from Karri with more ideas. 

    Posted by Burst my Bubble on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 1:25 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Heather

    ..
     
    Tori is planning and channeling APQ at the same time!

    Posted by Heather on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 1:36 PM
    [Reply to this]

    Heather

    Trying again…

    Posted by Heather on Thursday, September 21, 2006 at 1:37 PM
    [Reply to this]


  • Today’s Papers

    Bush Bump, GOP Slump?
    By Alexander Dryer
    Posted Thursday, Sept. 21, 2006, at 5:08 AM ET

    The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times both lead with reports on their latest polls. The NYT emphasizes the public’s strong disapproval of Congress, while the LAT registers an uptick in support for President Bush. The Washington Post leads with local news that may resonate nationally: Maryland’s Republican governor is pushing for paper ballots in November after primaries revealed problems with electronic voting machines. The paper devotes its top nonlocal spot to the HP spying scandal. New documents tie HP’s CEO to the company’s potentially illegal investigation of media leaks. USA Today‘s front page checks in on New Orleans: The indictment of nursing-home owners whose patients drowned in Katrina takes the top spot, while the Superdome’s reopening goes across the top. The Wall Street Journal tops its online world-wide newsbox with Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez’s speech at the United Nations, in which he attacked Bush as “the devil.”

    Ambiguous: That’s the word that best describes poll results from the NYT and the LAT. The NYT notes that Congress is as unpopular as it was in 1994, when the GOP swept to power. In a good sign for Democrats advocating withdrawal from Iraq, more than half the country does not equate a pullout with a loss. And unlike the LAT (or USAT earlier in the week), the paper sees no improvement in Bush’s overall approval rating. (It does note his ratings on individual issues are inching up.) But the LAT finds Republicans’ strength is improving as Bush’s approval rating hits its highest point since January.

    USAT explains that rise with a front-pager on the relationship between gas prices and Bush’s popularity. The bad news for Dems? An industry analyst says prices are likely to drop 10 to 20 cents per gallon by Election Day. For its part, the Post is taking voters’ pulse with a 500-mile trek through the Midwest: The paper’s first report comes from Kentucky’s second district, where the Democratic challenger, a 67-year-old retired Army colonel, is emphasizing his conservative values to woo voters. The piece is a good counterpoint to yesterday’s NYT report on Republicans moving to the center. (The Post also fronts a more familiar race; an article at the fold examines the ongoing saga of Sen. George Allen’s Jewish ancestry.)

    Chávez’s theatrical performance at the United Nations reflects rising discontent with the U.S. at the world body, the WSJ writes. The LAT, which plays the Chávez speech across the top, notes that the resentment could take a more concrete form should Venezuela win a spot on the Security Council this fall. The nation is using its oil wealth to draw votes from the U.S.-backed candidate, Guatemala, and an electoral showdown in the General Assembly is possible.

    While Chávez may have had center stage in New York, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad did his best to stay in the spotlight, the NYT writes. Iran’s leader spent Wednesday evening at the Council on Foreign Relations, where he sparred with members of the U.S. foreign-policy elite. A highlight seems to have been the 40 minutes Ahmadinejad spent questioning the Holocaust.

    The WSJ is the only paper to front the continuing unrest in Hungary. Protesters there are enraged by the prime minister’s admission that he lied about the economy in the run-up to his re-election. Everyone stuffs the latest from Thailand, where, as USAT reports, coup leaders now say democracy will not be restored for a year.

    The papers front a pair of setbacks to the Bush administration’s friendly approach to the logging and oil industries. A federal judge in San Francisco struck down the White House’s attempt to relax a road-building ban that protects vast swaths of national forests, the LAT reports. (Exactly how much forest is protected seems unclear; the WSJ says the decision affects about 60 million acres while the LAT says it’s about 44 million.) The NYT, meanwhile, has details on a suit by government auditors who allege that the Interior Department blocked them from pursuing $30 million in royalties for Gulf of Mexico oil drilling that private companies fraudulently withheld from the government.

    Also on Page One: The Post tracks scientists’ ongoing investigation into the nation’s E. coli outbreak, and the LAT reports that adult stem cells can help repair heart-attack damage. The NYT explains why in Japan, where “Sony’s and Toyota’s quality problems have frequently topped coverage of wars in Iraq and Lebanon,” product recalls are testing national self-confidence.

    Planet of the Ape-Humans: The Post and the NYT both front the discovery of a 3.3 million-year-old female skeleton that may help explain early human evolution. The young girl’s remains, uncovered in Ethiopia, shed new details on a species with both ape and human characteristics. The NYT notes scientists are divided on whether the species walked like us or “maintained, to some degree, an arboreal component in its locomotor repertoire.”

    Alexander Dryer works for The New Yorker in Washington, D.C.

  • Video game exhibition announced

    Video game exhibition announced
    Pac-Man
    Vintage games like Pac-Man will display alongside its successors
    Lovers of vintage computer games like Space Invaders and Pac-Man are in for a treat at a new exhibition.

    London’s Science Museum is to display more than 120 games – many with block graphics and wacky sound effects, plus others of a more contemporary nature.

    Visitors will be able to play games dating as far back as the 1960s. The organisers also hope to show the cultural impact of games and consoles.

    Game On, which will also feature classic artwork, opens on 21 October.

    Image of Mario
    Artworks from Mario’s creator will be displayed at the exhibition

    Drawings by Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of the character Mario from Super Mario Bros, will be on display.

    Among the games visitors can play will be Space War, the world’s first computer game, from 1962.

    Gaetan Lee, programmes developer at the Science Museum, said he was “particularly excited” that visitors would get a chance to see PDP-1, the computer that ran Space War.

    “Nowhere else will people be able to see the entire history of the games industry laid out, explained and ready to play,” he said.

    Game On runs from 21 October to 25 February.

  • Little Boy Green British Private School

    September 14, 2006    
    Henri Cartier-Bresson/Magnum Photos

    September 17, 2006
    Exits & Entrances

    Little Boy Green

    This fall, when British private-school blazers are a part of the season’s new formality, it seems right to wonder: Does a man want to relive his silly schoolboy days when he gets dressed? The prep-school blazer was layered, navy on navy, at Alessandro Dell’Acqua, paired with jeans at D&G, given a jaunty spin at Rykiel Homme and made into a down jacket at Thom Browne, where the models skated on ice. Surely the bonds of Latin and Chaucer and boyhood rebellion outlast the urge to sport a blazer with a crest on the breast pocket. The City of London may indeed be inhabited by a network of gentlemanly alumni outfitted by Jermyn Street tailors, but not all of the old chaps wear a suit and tie. Meet the anti-Etonian, John Lycett Green.

    He is one of England’s most popular D.J.’s, followed by fans from the small clubs of Bristol to the throngs at the Glastonbury Festival. He has been listed as one of Tatler magazine’s 100 Most Invited, and has no less a rival than that most posh of bachelors, Prince William himself.

    But Lycett Green wants no part of the old-boy network held in high regard by his toffee-nosed peers. “It doesn’t mean much to be an Old Etonian,” he says, raising the bass on the Immortal Technique track that is mesmerizing him. Lycett Green is 27, and seems at first like a thoroughly modern man: the cellphone never stops ringing with questions about guest lists and weekend plans; his laptop is an ever-present source of music except when the pumping bass shakes from his Smart car. But to see him running through mud and moss in the country is to consider a very particular boyhood.

    His pedigree is as British as British can be: he is the grandson of the poet laureate Sir John Betjeman. His mother, Candida, is a best-selling writer and a friend of Camilla. His father, Rupert, owned the Savile Row tailor shop Blades, which outfitted the Beatles in the 60’s. He grew up in the fields of Wiltshire, not far from where locals say St. George slew the dragon. He believes the dragon was real.

    Despite the baggy white denim and modishly unruly hair, he could be from another time. There is the glamour of his face; he looks like a young Mick Jagger. There is his aimless melancholy; he could be a New Age Sebastian Flyte. But mainly what there is about John Lycett Green is the willful innocence of childhood. “Be good, be kind, peace you find” is the code he lives by. He is less the product of the elite pomp and circumstance of his education than of something inimitably English.

    He spent his formative years in a fitted uniform, following his older brother to Hawtreys, an elite boys’ school established on the 18th-century foundations of Tottenham House, deep in the leafy darkness of the vast Savernake Forest. He was packed off with little blue shirts, matching little shorts and a little navy blue blazer with a red lion on the breast pocket. “This is how I grew up,” he says on a visit to the abandoned grounds. “This was my youth. Going to class in the morning and then running around in the forest. It still smells the same.”

    Lycett Green dashes past the old cricket pitch and a huge oak tree. He points to his dormitory window, the drainpipes he climbed down, the remains of a dog’s grave he was made to touch on a dare. Childish mischief brightens his eyes. He sees a deer and runs after it. He has a hard time resisting climbing the trees. “It’s a weird, primeval, dog-eat-dog world when you’re really small and being put out here. It’s powerful. You’ve been sent into the world when you’re 7 or 8. But I loved it.”

    At 13, he left the blazers of Hawtreys for the tailcoats of Eton. “I became interested in things at an early age,” he says, walking in a flowering campus lane. “The teachers were incredible. But I hate intellectual elitism. It kills your understanding of everything.” He steps ahead a few paces, looking at the fine stone walls and leaded windows.

    “What does it mean to be an Eton man? It means a lot to some people, those who would automatically trust an Old Etonian, say, in the City or something. But what it really means is that most people have a preconceived notion of you, and that’s what I’ve fought against in trying to establish my own identity. Eton has benefited a lot of people. But I’ve seen it destroy people as well. They graduate with an attachment to something that is no longer there.”

    And as for reliving his schoolboy days?

    “I’d give anything to be 17 again and be at the center of my soul’s beginning. But it’s very nice to leave school.” He’s back in the Smart car and off again.